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ashxx
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 58
0 miles · West Yorkshire
Forum
I totally agree with the views expressed above. A private life is just that - private - and I wish that we could respect each other's right to privacy in the way we would wish them to respect ours. For me, swinging is a very separate part of my persona that I like to indulge in, and if it were to be compromised by the indiscretion of others, the magic of it would be ruined.
Take care and have fun!
Ashxx
Take care and have fun!
Ashxx
Thanks for your thoughts. I've generally met couples in pubs, which is really the best way to break the ice, before going back to their place for fun and games. I feel its really trustworthy of couples to do that, and I'm sure that part of the thrill is inviting a stranger into their home (as it is for me!) and I just hope that that kindness is always respected. I'd hate to feel that any couples are blackmailed or hurt in any way. I don't drive either, so its easier for me to go to a couple's home (or hotel), as I have family and friends who live very near me, so I'd feel uncomfortable in accommodating.
Going halves on a travellodge seems a good deal for the added anonymity!
Take care and have fun
Ashxx
Going halves on a travellodge seems a good deal for the added anonymity!
Take care and have fun
Ashxx
Hi Everyone
I've been looking through the ads, and I've noticed that a lot of couples seem to prefer to meet in people's homes rather than in hotels or lodges. I find this quite surprising. Is it not more discreet to meet anonymously at a hotel, or do people feel its less erotic than in their or other people's homes? Do people feel its more trustworthy to invite or be invited to someone's home? I would have thought the need for discretion would override those kinds of issues, especially at the very beginning when you're not sure how you'll get on with people you're meeting. As we all know, there are an awful lot of timewasters (and worse!) out there.
Any thoughts or comments on this? I'd welcome your views.
Have fun!
Ashxx
Sadly there are some pretty odd people out there, and I think your post is a timely reminder of the dangers. I've been swinging on and off for the past few years and have met some really lovely, genuine couples. However, I did have one really bad experience with a couple where the atmosphere became very threatening and potentially violent (I won't bore you with the details) and, to cut a long story short, I feel very lucky to have escaped from that situation.
More recently I met with a couple in Bolton. It was fairly obvious that the female partner was put under pressure to go along with it. Later on she admitted to me that her partner was violent and abusive towards her. Food for thought indeed.
I think we should all be very cautious. Swinging attracts some very unsavoury characters, as well as some really delightful ones.
Best of luck to all of you
More recently I met with a couple in Bolton. It was fairly obvious that the female partner was put under pressure to go along with it. Later on she admitted to me that her partner was violent and abusive towards her. Food for thought indeed.
I think we should all be very cautious. Swinging attracts some very unsavoury characters, as well as some really delightful ones.
Best of luck to all of you
There have been big changes in the Asian community in recent years, but what Sikhs, Muslims and Hindus all share is a strong sense of respect for the family. This makes them worried about bringing shame upon their families, and living a sexually liberated lifestyle does not go well with enhancing family pride.
I've been on the scene for a while, and have only met one Asian couple (who happened to be Muslim) during that time, although I was also approached by two other Asian couples. For virtually all swingers, discretion is the key issue, but I think for Asian swingers, it is even more so. There is still a lot of cultural pressures on Asians to behave in a conformist manner, and I think it will be a long time before the proportion of Asian swingers in the UK matches the proportion of the British Asian community.
Happy swinging!
I've been on the scene for a while, and have only met one Asian couple (who happened to be Muslim) during that time, although I was also approached by two other Asian couples. For virtually all swingers, discretion is the key issue, but I think for Asian swingers, it is even more so. There is still a lot of cultural pressures on Asians to behave in a conformist manner, and I think it will be a long time before the proportion of Asian swingers in the UK matches the proportion of the British Asian community.
Happy swinging!
hi claire
I think GPs aren't too brilliant with back pain. Last year I had a really nasty ache in my lower back which I knew had been caused when I twisted awkwardly while stretching on the bed (no naughtiness going on, i can assure you!). The GP prescribed ibuprofen, which i took on and off but stopped with the lethargy it caused, and I knew that the root of the problem wasn't being dealt with. I was recommended to see an osteopath down the road, who examined me, diagnosed the joint that had slipped out of place in less than a minute, and sorted it out in a jiffy. It was like a miracle - all of the pain was just gone - and if I'd not seen him, I'd still be in pain today.
Best of luck Claire - back pain can be murder - hope you get it sorted out.
Ash x
I think GPs aren't too brilliant with back pain. Last year I had a really nasty ache in my lower back which I knew had been caused when I twisted awkwardly while stretching on the bed (no naughtiness going on, i can assure you!). The GP prescribed ibuprofen, which i took on and off but stopped with the lethargy it caused, and I knew that the root of the problem wasn't being dealt with. I was recommended to see an osteopath down the road, who examined me, diagnosed the joint that had slipped out of place in less than a minute, and sorted it out in a jiffy. It was like a miracle - all of the pain was just gone - and if I'd not seen him, I'd still be in pain today.
Best of luck Claire - back pain can be murder - hope you get it sorted out.
Ash x
Hi Marya
I can well understand your concerns, as men in a group can behave in an unpleasant,
possibly aggressive manner, especially when the atmosphere is so sexually charged.
I've enjoyed a few GBs, but they have always taken place in clubs, and there has
ALWAYS been a male partner to look after the lady, as well as make sure that she
is getting the most out of it. I agree with everyone else who has commented on the
utility of using a swingers club, as things are very unlikely to get out of hand.
It seems to me that women who indulge in GG events do enjoy the sense of
abandonment, and being intimate with a range of men that they might not normally
be intimate with (due to appearance, age, etc). The sense of being in control / not
in control is a real buzz (for the male participants too!).
You are right to err on the side of caution. By my reckoning, the best GG events
are unplanned but happen spontaneously, with a woman deciding she wants to
take centre stage. I've never attended a planned GG night, but I imagine them to be
more staid affairs, and I suppose there is no guarantee of fellow women being
around for company, just an army of men (although that's also true of a normal
night at a swingers club).
Perhaps the best option would be to meet a single guy, go to a couples only
night and then indulge your fantasy, as at least there'd be lots of people to keep
an eye out for your safety, and you could go as far as you felt comfortable.
Whatever you do, be careful
Ash
I can well understand your concerns, as men in a group can behave in an unpleasant,
possibly aggressive manner, especially when the atmosphere is so sexually charged.
I've enjoyed a few GBs, but they have always taken place in clubs, and there has
ALWAYS been a male partner to look after the lady, as well as make sure that she
is getting the most out of it. I agree with everyone else who has commented on the
utility of using a swingers club, as things are very unlikely to get out of hand.
It seems to me that women who indulge in GG events do enjoy the sense of
abandonment, and being intimate with a range of men that they might not normally
be intimate with (due to appearance, age, etc). The sense of being in control / not
in control is a real buzz (for the male participants too!).
You are right to err on the side of caution. By my reckoning, the best GG events
are unplanned but happen spontaneously, with a woman deciding she wants to
take centre stage. I've never attended a planned GG night, but I imagine them to be
more staid affairs, and I suppose there is no guarantee of fellow women being
around for company, just an army of men (although that's also true of a normal
night at a swingers club).
Perhaps the best option would be to meet a single guy, go to a couples only
night and then indulge your fantasy, as at least there'd be lots of people to keep
an eye out for your safety, and you could go as far as you felt comfortable.
Whatever you do, be careful
Ash
I've been looking at the threads on SH for some time, and
this has been the most moving of all, so congratulations
to all that have participated in making it so.
Remembering the sacrifices of all those who have
perished in conflict, irrespective of their nation's flag, is
the very least that we can do.
Heartfelt thanks
Ash
this has been the most moving of all, so congratulations
to all that have participated in making it so.
Remembering the sacrifices of all those who have
perished in conflict, irrespective of their nation's flag, is
the very least that we can do.
Heartfelt thanks
Ash
Crikey, an uncle and niece ! how embarrassing !
I've got to admire the cool, calm demeanour you
all seem to have. I suppose as swinging becomes
more popular, the chances of bumping into someone
are bound to increase .....
I was at a chemist in my local shopping centre
a few weeks ago, thought I recognised him ..
and then the penny dropped!
It is, indeed, a small world.
I've got to admire the cool, calm demeanour you
all seem to have. I suppose as swinging becomes
more popular, the chances of bumping into someone
are bound to increase .....
I was at a chemist in my local shopping centre
a few weeks ago, thought I recognised him ..
and then the penny dropped!
It is, indeed, a small world.
I've sometimes wondered what I'd do if I arrived at a swingers club
or met up with a couple, only to find (horror of horrors!) that I knew
them from my non-swinging life (work, locality, etc).
Part of me thinks I'd freak out, but there's another part that thinks I'd be
really rational about it and think 'well, we're all here for the same
reason.'
What do the rest of you think you'd do, and have any of you been
in this situation?
Cheers
Ash x
or met up with a couple, only to find (horror of horrors!) that I knew
them from my non-swinging life (work, locality, etc).
Part of me thinks I'd freak out, but there's another part that thinks I'd be
really rational about it and think 'well, we're all here for the same
reason.'
What do the rest of you think you'd do, and have any of you been
in this situation?
Cheers
Ash x
I totally agree with MikeNorth and Heather,
I've met lots of couples through Loot. There
is something special, I think, about a person's
voice which tells you much more than a (distorted?)
photo. SH is great, but probably takes a lot more
time and effort than a voice advert, although its
a different clientele, and perhaps cpls on SH
are more keen on long-term friendships than
voice adverts. Hard to tell as I've not been on
here long enough !
cheers
Ash x
I've met lots of couples through Loot. There
is something special, I think, about a person's
voice which tells you much more than a (distorted?)
photo. SH is great, but probably takes a lot more
time and effort than a voice advert, although its
a different clientele, and perhaps cpls on SH
are more keen on long-term friendships than
voice adverts. Hard to tell as I've not been on
here long enough !
cheers
Ash x
Terrible news - as a United fan, Hughes's Liverpool
were a terrible scourge growing up, especially when
they won the European Cup. What a fantastic athlete,
and a great servant of Liverpool FC. Its shocking
that somebody who spent so many years in professional
sport should be struck down so young.
were a terrible scourge growing up, especially when
they won the European Cup. What a fantastic athlete,
and a great servant of Liverpool FC. Its shocking
that somebody who spent so many years in professional
sport should be struck down so young.
I've had loads of brilliant meets with cpls over the
past few years, and I've been surprised at how
gorgeous swinging cpls are! (although only met
one cpl through SH so far).
There are lots of genuine uninhibited cpls willing to
play, and some single fems too. I think the main
thing is to be relaxed and honest with the people
you meet. I suppose some single guys spoil it
for themselves by becoming too anxious, and so
the whole situation becomes more loaded than
it really is. At the end of the day, its just about
people getting together for fun and friendship in
a way that's more organised than happens
ordinarily in bars and clubs all round the country
every night of the week !
Only bad meet I had was with a cpl reallly
desperate to meet, and when the action started
he dominated the situation to the point where I
could hardly get a look in. After a while, I figured
they were more interested in being watched than
anything (which is fine, but not what they'd told
me) so I did just that. Some time later, when they
were so engrossed with each other, I decided
I'd had enough and that they had got what they
wanted, and decided to get dressed when she says
'oh is that it, we sorted out a babysitter for this
afternoon and you're letting us down' etc etc. Her
partner gave me a filthy look - and started to agree
with her - and it seemed he was going to lose it
completely. They insisted I paid for the babysitter
(which I did) and I was glad to get out of that situation,
and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Moral of the
story is to trust your instincts - I had a slightly bad
vibe when talking over the phone earlier on.
Still, one psycho cpl out of so many meets ....
definitely a price worth paying !!!!
Cheers
Ash x
past few years, and I've been surprised at how
gorgeous swinging cpls are! (although only met
one cpl through SH so far).
There are lots of genuine uninhibited cpls willing to
play, and some single fems too. I think the main
thing is to be relaxed and honest with the people
you meet. I suppose some single guys spoil it
for themselves by becoming too anxious, and so
the whole situation becomes more loaded than
it really is. At the end of the day, its just about
people getting together for fun and friendship in
a way that's more organised than happens
ordinarily in bars and clubs all round the country
every night of the week !
Only bad meet I had was with a cpl reallly
desperate to meet, and when the action started
he dominated the situation to the point where I
could hardly get a look in. After a while, I figured
they were more interested in being watched than
anything (which is fine, but not what they'd told
me) so I did just that. Some time later, when they
were so engrossed with each other, I decided
I'd had enough and that they had got what they
wanted, and decided to get dressed when she says
'oh is that it, we sorted out a babysitter for this
afternoon and you're letting us down' etc etc. Her
partner gave me a filthy look - and started to agree
with her - and it seemed he was going to lose it
completely. They insisted I paid for the babysitter
(which I did) and I was glad to get out of that situation,
and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Moral of the
story is to trust your instincts - I had a slightly bad
vibe when talking over the phone earlier on.
Still, one psycho cpl out of so many meets ....
definitely a price worth paying !!!!
Cheers
Ash x
I think there are a lot of inarticulate single blokes around
in general, and so its not surprising that many of them find
their way onto SH.
However, it does cut both ways as I've had one-line replies
from couples as well. I wonder if its a sense of fear in
contacting a real person that makes people so curt, or just
a general thoughtlessness?
Ash
in general, and so its not surprising that many of them find
their way onto SH.
However, it does cut both ways as I've had one-line replies
from couples as well. I wonder if its a sense of fear in
contacting a real person that makes people so curt, or just
a general thoughtlessness?
Ash
Hi everyone
Thanks for all your comments - much appreciated!
I hope I didn't offend anyone by my original post, I have met
couples who aren't self-employed as well, its just that most
of them have been (although that's just been my experience).
Regardless of background, etc the couples I've met have the
most stable, rock-solid partnerships, and have been a joy to
spend time with.
Cheers to you all
Ash
Thanks for all your comments - much appreciated!
I hope I didn't offend anyone by my original post, I have met
couples who aren't self-employed as well, its just that most
of them have been (although that's just been my experience).
Regardless of background, etc the couples I've met have the
most stable, rock-solid partnerships, and have been a joy to
spend time with.
Cheers to you all
Ash
When I finally plucked up the courage to explore the swinging lifestyle some time ago,
I suppose I had an unflattering expectation of the kinds of couples that I might meet.
Needless to say of course, this proved quite wrong (thank god!) and all of them
(bar one awful exception) have been delightful, discreet, health conscious and
hugely respectful.
However, there has been one notable factor which has puzzled me, and I wondered
whether any of the couples could shed some light on this. And this is it ...
Nearly all of the couples I have met (not through SH, I should add) have been self-employed.
Does anyone have any views on this? Is there something about the work-life balance in
modern British life that makes it more appealing or easier for self-employed people to swing?
Or does swinging naturally lend itself to middle-class sensibilities?
Just a thought ...
Ash x
I suppose I had an unflattering expectation of the kinds of couples that I might meet.
Needless to say of course, this proved quite wrong (thank god!) and all of them
(bar one awful exception) have been delightful, discreet, health conscious and
hugely respectful.
However, there has been one notable factor which has puzzled me, and I wondered
whether any of the couples could shed some light on this. And this is it ...
Nearly all of the couples I have met (not through SH, I should add) have been self-employed.
Does anyone have any views on this? Is there something about the work-life balance in
modern British life that makes it more appealing or easier for self-employed people to swing?
Or does swinging naturally lend itself to middle-class sensibilities?
Just a thought ...
Ash x
Hi! My name's Ash and I'm in Manchester. Please see the link
to my photo ad below for more information. I'm free later today
for a relaxed no-strings meet up with a single lady or couple.
Please PM me if you are interested.
Click to View my advert
to my photo ad below for more information. I'm free later today
for a relaxed no-strings meet up with a single lady or couple.
Please PM me if you are interested.
Click to View my advert
