What's below is all true(ish).

Hi I'm a Irish guy living in South Wales and I'm told I have boyish good looks except for all the scaring caused by that freak industrial accident involving one road-sweeper, four large cows and a lifeboat. I have no sense of humour and my feet smell and not in the good way.

As you can tell I'm a fine catch so please form an orderly queue.

Yes I am bi but happy to play straight.