I’m a genuinely nice, civilized, “normal”, laid-back, un-pompous, professional chap. I’m 56, but full of bounce, humour and good heart, and I am (I’m told) effortless company. I’m married and don’t want to rock the boat, but sex hasn’t featured on the agenda for years and I yearn for the therapy of an exploratory sensual female hand!

In this, I realize, I am not alone, but if you just happen to be a nice girl with a sex drive which for one reason or another isn’t getting enough exercise, perhaps we could get together over a glass of wine to assess chemistry and aspirations.

All right, it might not work out; which would be a shame, but what would it have cost us? An hour of our lives?

But if it DID, it could be truly wonderful for us both. Good sex is, after all, a celebration of LIFE!

I much prefer masturbation and oral sex to humping, as they involve ALL the senses. There's NOTHING I enjoy more than having a girl empty herself into my mouth, and the feel of a hand on my pouch, reaching for the zip.

I also much prefer girls in faded, well-loved jeans and a T-shirt than all that stuff which apparently does it for most men (fishnet stockings, basques, high heels etc). They do nothing for me. I like cotton!

I spend most of my time in Warwickshire with the wife. I can't accommodate, but if you can, I can get to you easily, as I control my own agenda and ride a motorbike.

I also have a flat in London, where I CAN accommodate. It's near Tooting Bec. Not a very smart one, but it has everything we need – a sitting room, a bathroom, and a bedroom.