hi ppl, thanks for checking out our profile :)

we are looking for single bi or straight females or young (ish) couples.

we are both 29, slim and (allegedly) attractive.

amy is 5'7, size 10, 34c, with blue eyes and long brown hair,

matt is 6'0, slim/athletic build, short brown hair.

looking to webcam initially to ensure we're all who we say we are and then to meet for a drink and see where the mood takes us.

we're easy to talk to, not pushy at all, and so first-time people welcome. this is our first ad on here but we've had many experiences with friends - who now all seem to be settling down :( hence the ad.

replies with a pic will guarantee a response. as naughty or as nice as you wish.

hope to see you soon,

amy and matt

xxx

A man and wife are struggling thanks to the recession.

"the only way we can pay the mortgage is if you go on the game darling." he suggests. "Really" she sobs, "but i wouldn't know what to do?"

"Just go into a bar and tell any man that approaches it'll be £100" he says.

"and i'll be in the car park if you need me". he assures.

She goes to the bar and within 10 minutes she has a customer.

She's taking him out to the man's car when he checks his wallet and says "Oh, i've only got £30".

"wait in your car" she flusters, and nips over to her husband's car for advice.

"tell him he can only have a hand job" her husband says.

"fine" says the man, as she returns to his car.

He slips down his jeans and reveals a huge, thick 12" member!

"CHRIST" she says, and with a face full of shock, she exits the car and runs back to her husband.

"what's wrong??" he worries.

she catches her breath and pants - "can i borrow 70 quid?"

Please, no single males, we used to take the time to say a polite no thanks, but some of the guys just take that as encouragement! So, please guys, no winks or whispers, you're just wasting time that you could be using to contact the couples who ARE looking for single males. We wish you good luck and please don't be offended when we don't reply to you. we're just saving your time and ours :) If we need you we'll place an ad :)