Readers Letters

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This being the second issue of Swinging Heaven Magazine, we've had some letters from our readers - some of them giving us feedback about Issue 1(most welcome!), and others with problems and queries to answer...

Firstly, let me thank you so much

for the first issue of the magazine. It's brilliantly put together and, whle we have the website and our friends, it's great to have a hard copy to pick up and read, that so well reflects our lifestyle.
We have a question, though.Would it be possible for the contact ads to be put into categories i.e. geographical region and what people are looking for?
John and J (Leicester)

Absolutely. As you will see from this issue,we have categorised the ads in the way we felt was most helpful for respondents.

I liked the editorial of Issue 1...

but I was a bit disappointed with the lack of erotic pictures. Now that the law has changed, can't you publish more explicit photos - I know there's something about so-called 'pink bits' - but what does that mean?
Peter (South Wales)

SH Magazine is a life-style publication, in which we intend to write about issues that are part and parcel of, or associated in some way with, the swinging scene. It is our aim to produce well written and informative editorial that is backed up with 'soft' images. 'Hard' images are available through many other top-shelf publications and via the internet. Being a porn mag is not what we are about at all. Regarding the 'pink bits'; yes your quite correct the law has changed in the UK and licensed outlets can now sell hard-core porn. 'Pink bits' refer to things such as erect penises, open pussies, visible penetrative sex (vaginal, oral and anal) full cum shots and other similar images that you would expect in hard-core. These products are categorised as 'R18' as opposed to the slightly tamer '18'. Most DVDs and photo shoots cover both categories, and the resulting images are used in one form or another.While we review 'R18' material,we will not publish it.

I have 'swung' with my husband

on about a dozen occasions but only with close friends whom we've known for many years. I guess you call it 'soft swinging'.
I know that my husband loves it and I do too and we'd really like to let loose and go to a real club and just see what happens with strangers. My problem is that I am size 16 and I don't feel that confident. I have had some bi experiences, but all of the other women were much slimmer than me.
If we went to a strange club, would I just be avoided and would people say 'what's that elephant here for?'- or what? I've lost two stone to get to size 16 - I just can't get any smaller. Help!
Jacqui (Crawley)

I can understand where you're coming from. We are all image-conscious and it's easy to lack confidence. But my instinct is to say, 'You silly woman!' In sexual matters, other than for underfed magazine models, size really, really does not matter at all.What does matter is the sexual desire and, in effect, the horniness of a person.You have said that you swing with your friends - both male and female - and they obviously enjoy sex with you or it wouldn't happen at all. Just be confident in yourself - easy to say, not easy to do, but just try. Go to a club and wear things that make you feel good - a nice outer layer and great underwear and just know in your own mind that you are desirable, sexy and up for it.You will definitely not be the biggest girl there.
Size 16 is not big, and the larger woman is often a damn sight sexier than the versions. Many men, and women too, prefer a bigger body to hold, cuddle, play with and be held by. Most sexually active people, men and bi women,would much prefer to nuzzle up to Marilyn Monroe (size 16++) than a bony, undernourished model-8 stick insect.
Go to the club of your choice, feel confident - and I promise you will not be disappointed. Neither will your hubby or the guys and girls that you meet.

You probably can't answer this.

My wife won't swing.We're both 48 and have been married for 22 years.We have been to a few ordinary house parties where some overt swapping has taken place, including open sex three - and four-somes, but we have never joined in.When we've got home we've talked about it and my wife admits that watching really turned her on and it has led to some great sex between us.
However, she says that she could never get involved herself. I would really like to try it and I would really love her to as well.
Mick (Reading)

Our chauvinistic office lackey suggested 'Get her really pissed or get a new wife'.He was pilloried for these stupid comments and made to buy the first two rounds at our local that Friday for being so palpably stupid. (It's the penalty for the daftest remark of the week.)
You are both clearly turned on by watching and the thought of swinging.Your wife obviously doesn't want to indulge at the moment.You seem to have a good sex life together - many couples wouldn't even discuss the matter.You are a very, very lucky man.You have a sexy wife who is devoted to you. Do not try and force anything on someone so close. Respect her wishes.Why not try getting hold of some hard-core DVDs and watching them together and discussing what turns you both on and what doesn't? As with all matters sexual, communication is the most important thing.You may find some role-playing examples a good substitute for direct swinging. That way you could be swinging with an image while still with your same partner in private.
If you feel brave enough, try going to a swinging club.You don't have to swing when you're there - just do what a lot of couples do, enjoy the atmosphere and maybe just have exhibitionist sex with each other.
Remember, 'No' means 'NO!' in such environments.
Again, don't try to force your wife into doing something that she doesn't want to do, and be happy with the open closeness that you have together.You never know, maybe one day she will want to give it a try.

I am a wannabe bi-girl -

well, woman, actually. I'm 37 and have fantasised since my teens about having sex with a woman - but have never done so. My sex life with my husband is great but I really want to try with a woman and want to 'try out' the first time when he is not around. Maybe later we could have threesomes.
He is away in Europe on business for about a quarter of the year, so I have the opportunity but not the knowledge of what to do or where to go.
I won't answer contact ads as I want to stay
anonymous. Pippa (London)

The easiest and most comfortable way to take the first step is to visit a gay and lesbian bar.You say you're from London, so there are many to choose from and the sheer variety and size of London virtually guarantees your anonymity.You don't have to make the first move. Just have a couple of drinks, soak in the ambience, smile a lot and a more experienced person will approach you. If it's a quiet night and no one does - don't worry, next time someone will.
Or, you could cut straight to the chase and go as a single girl to a swinging club where, being single, you will have no end of opportunities to indulge in what you fancy and start 'tipping the velvet'. Most swinging clubs grant entrance to single girls at very low prices - some are even free.
If it's something that you've wanted to do for 20 years, just take the plunge now. There is more detailed advice for you in the article ' Swinging for Girls' on page 4 of this issue.