My life as a crossdresser I have kept this journal for some time now and it is not fiction but a description of my crossdressing life. The original includes photos where possible and is a great pictorial account of what some may deem as a perverted sex life but also one that brings me much pleasure. Its many years since I started crossdressing and why ? Well who knows but I always remember when my parents went out I used to love wandering round the garden naked even when the neighbours were in, probably first signs of being an exhibitionist. I also used to go to the local park, a small affair next to the main road, but it never stopped me wandering in it naked despite the cars being able to see me. When we moved it continued but I would take great delight in standing at the side of the garage naked, just semi hidden, as cars went up and down the road.The change from exhibitionist to crossdressing came after marriage when I purchased some lingerie for my wife, a lilac basque and thong, but she rarely wore it, in fact, I still have it and wear it regularly, she thinks it was thrown away. My wife has nice tits and was an excellent cock sucker and never let me down in bed but would never dress up for the occasion. I would often video our sex without her knowing using a hidden video camera espescially when she had my cock in her mouth and that led me to wondering what it would be like in stockings and heels then on to what is it like to suck cock. It didnt help going on a course for work whereI met a lady her name was Sarah and we managed to spend a night together, she appeared before me in a bra, thong and stockings. She was an excellent fuck and gave an incredible blow job but all that did was to keep me thinking about what it is like to wear stockings and suspenders and to have a cock in my mouth whilst pleasuring another. We met several times and she once even gave me a blow job at lunchtime in a main town car park but distance was always the problem. We eventually lost touch and the affair ended as quickly as it began. Work always got in the way but after being made redundant time became available and I made my first trip to see a man, I was nervous, excited, scared all in one. I was dressed under male clothes in basque, stockings and thong and was met at the door by a man eager to explode. I took my male clothes off so he could see what I was wearing and knelt in front of him and that was all he needed, he dropped his house coat, thrust his cock in my mouth and pumped, withdrawing just before he came. As usual with first experiences it did not do a lot for me but I was sure that their was more to it than a rush job so I stayed on the web sitewhere I had met him to see if anything else would happen. Since then I have increased my wardrobe and now dress very office like but with very very short skirts, I still love basques and stockings but now top it off with a lacy top, fishnet stockings, heels and sometimes a jacket, in fact reasonably passable to most people. If not wearing that style I like to be very risque in stockings and basque under a very see through dress or even lingerie Tracey My best experiences were of course memorable, one with a lovely couple but regrettably the wife was reluctant altho I did see her husband fuck her in the lounge while I was dressed watching, but the most memorable was with a lady called Tracey. We met on a website and she invited me to her place just a few miles away on a nice estate as she wanted photos taken of herself for the swingers site, she knew I was a CD and said I could arrive dressed if I wanted. Even I was surprised but did as she asked left home on the arranged day stopped about 2 miles from her house and changed. The outfit I wore was that of a whore, a very very short black and white skirt with a top, basque and very viewable stockings tops with heels. She left me at the door for a minute, teasing I think, then oh what a site to behold, she was short, jet black hair. with a cardigan exposing her black bra and ample breasts all topped off with a midi tight black skirt and heels. She took me upstairs and asked if I would take some photos which I did with trembling hands. She opened her legs and at that point I could not resist and my head dived to her panties and licked and kissed her gorgeous mound. Oh did I taste that woman, she was gorgeous and I continued to lick her and it wasnt long before I discarded her sopping wet panties. She removed her top and bra to reveal her beautiful breasts and I licked and teased her fabulous nipples and eventually threw her skirt on the floor to reveal a most amazing naked female form so beautifully shaven and such a perfect figure. She had a heavenly body, amazing breasts and a taste to die for. It wasn't long before she was groaning as my tongue explored her deep inside.She shuddered and her body came to rest then I came nicely between her tits as she cupped them and was even allowed a photo of it.I left dressed as a man as she thought my arrival costume a bit risque but most enjoyable. Regrettably she moved away so I no longer see her, such a dissappointment. The Neighbour All this time I was really fortunate to live where I did as my neighbour at the back of the house often walked about naked after having showered. I noticed this when one day she was opening the top bathroom window with her breasts pressed up against the frosted glass for all to see.At the time I had a video camera so was able to set it up to record her, highly illegal I know but well worth it. She often didn't get up till 10am then went for a shower after which, being alone in the house, she would walk into the back bedroom naked and do her hair.She would also change about 8pm and take her clothes off to put her dressing gown on, all with the lights on if she thought nobody was about. I even arranged for her to see me naked one day as she was doing her hair, I switched the light on to attract her attention then climbed on the bed from the end right in front of the window, I know she saw me as I recorded her reaction. Disappointingly she got a divorce from her husband and moved away as far as I know. It was sometime before meeting another lady who enjoyed me dressing but plenty of men have enjoyed my company in the meantime, some memorable and others not and of course the proverbial time wasters. My next meeting came just last year, a big beautiful lady and one who can kiss for England. I met her on a site and she invited me round. The first meeting was cautious on her part but when we kissed, oh wow. She lifted her top and I immediately removed her bra to reveal the most amazingly huge breasts which I could not keep my hands off. We didnt have long at that meeting so I was only partially dressed under normal outer clothing as she was having a friend round so I left early. I met her again a few weeks later, her lodger was in, I took her to her room whilst he was in the garden just near her bedroom window, I put heels on after removing my male clothes and I was wearing a basque, stockings, panties, mini skirt and heels. She loved it, I helped her strip naked, my first Big Beautiful Woman and wow what a site to behold. Her breasts were enormous and so much to enjoy and explore. I sucked her nipples and my hands explored her body with my tongue. It wasnt long before I had my fingers in her and my tongue licking the outer edge of her delicious shaven haven. I kissed and licked and she was soon breathing loudly before giving out a deep moan. After that she sat up and asked if I wanted my cock in her mouth and she obliged with me cumming all over her beautiful breasts. All this with her lodger just sat outside the window. Regrettably since then she has had health problems and we are no longer in touch.I have now been a CD for many years and hopefully as long as my legs are still as good as ever for many years to cum. My internet friend Since my first part of this memoir a lot has happened. I love walking out dressed when I can but being married it is all very secretive but before you say it yes she knows but chooses to ignore despite several rows about it. The internet has been a bonus, I go on cam when I can and have even been caught by my wife fully dressed whilst camming with a guy but luckily she didn't realise. It was a chilly few days after that event and for quite a time now I have had a lady pen pal in Leeds who I have corresponded with. She has even invited me to go to Leeds and fuck her but getting a full day off is impossible at the moment however I would be tempted because her breasts are amazing. We started just chatting and have corresponded for a number of years then one day she dared me to do an outdoor photo in just basque stockings and heels,I was up for the dare if she did lingerie in the woods so off we went to get the best photos we could. I chose a misty day at in the country at a well known local folly where, having climbed the hill to the monument, I disrobed on the upper floor then took a video, I then went to the lower floor in basque, stockings and heels and stood in the entrance for further photos.It was a most exhilarating experience which I would love to repeat. Margot my internet friend was one not to be outdone so went out to take her photos in the local woods in a see through negligee, they were awesome. Since then many photos have gone between us and some have been amazing and her tits well what can one say she has massive orbs with amazing nipples which are very suckable as for getting to Leeds who knows. Using the cash machine If I go out at night I try to take clothes with me usually having a drink with a mate then I often then go to the local cash machine and use it being dressed for the occasion in miniskirt heels,wig and jacket in front of anyone who is around. However on this particular night I left my mate early then changed into basque, stockings, heels wig, miniskirt and see through blouse then I went to the local village parked on the High Street near the bank and then went for a walk round the village, it was only short but enjoyable. Many cars drove by and about 1 or 2 people walked by me on the street. It was an exciting time but when I got into the car I was quite excited and decided to go a bit further. Dare I take my skirt off and just go to the servicetill in basque stockings and thong with my blouse on which was see through and not long. I decided to risk it, its a lot better now the police station has closed so I nervously took my skirt off and waited to get out of the car. I got out and went to the servicetill showing the top of my stockings to all who were driving up and down the road. The highlight was a young lad who turned out of a side road and saw me and stopped to ogle the sight in front of him I hoped he liked it. Men Men are always up for a meet at mine but as I am married I have a policy not to meet at home. One of my first meets was for photos at a gents house who was local. He had a great back garden albeit the house was a semi but we managed many photos on his patio after which we went inside, he tied me to his bannister at the bottom of his stairs then sucked me off till I was weak at the knees. The best meet I had was in an hotel,wWe met outside and he showed me to his room where his partner, a largish woman, was also with him. She helped him change while i was in the bathroom then left to the bar while we played. He was a nice gentle chap that liked his nipples sucking and his outfit was obviously amended for just that. He was in bra and panties and myself in a see through top basque stockings and mini skirt. His cock was lovely and I sucked it and licked it and pleasured it for sometime. Regrettably due to the distance we only met the once but it was one of the best meets I have ever had as it was gentle, not rushed and we felt both satisfied at the end. I have met a few men in my time and on one site I made contact with a man who was reasonably local. We arranged to meet at his place one afternoon. He persuaded me to arrive dressed, I didn't need much persuasion…… Lol. I arrived in a basque and panties, stockings, heels, see through lace top, large false boobs, and a very short yellow mini skirt topped off with a jacket. He answered the door in a lovely dress and showed me upstairs, we only got up 4 steps when the up skirt view took over and we stopped. His hand explored my knickers from front to back and my cock hardened with anticipation. He showed me into the front bedroom which was a surprise as it had a large panoramic window with a second window to one side of it. A beautiful view for the neighbours but that didn't seem to worry us as it just added to the excitement. I lay on the bed and it wasn't long before a hand was rubbing my cock on top of my black flowery panties. As he rubbed I felt my cock get harder and he continued until finally he eased them to one side and held my cock in his large hand. He gently massaged pulling the foreskin back and forth with his actions.This was being filmed on my cam by him up to this point and as he took my cock in his hand he gave the camera to me. His head went down and I felt his tongue on my aching tip, his head went further and my cock was completely engulfed by his warm mouth and tongue. His actions were slow and not hurried and I could have cum then but why rush. I slowly removed his dress, I wanted him naked and actually he could have fucked me there and then and I would have let him.I got off the bed, in between the windows was a dressing table and I half sat against it. Could the neighbours see, I don't know but he kneeled before me and took my cock deep in his mouth and continued where he left off. I could feel myself cumming as my cock hit the back of his throat time and time again. His tongue was working my shaft and the excitement built until I had no choice but shoot my load down his throat. He continued to lick and clean me up until I had to tell him to stop or my knees would have buckled. OMG it was a wonderful afternoon and one I wish to repeat People on Web sites don't realise that give us a fuck or blunt comments just don't do it.However two comments did and I have now met both albeit one very briefly. It had taken a long time to set up and just at the last minute my partner took ill.. However I managed to get an hour away and quickly drove to my meet.He has a shop and as soon as I went in he showed me upstairs and I got changed. I did not have all my gear which was disappointing but did have heels, tartan black and white mini skirt, stockings.He showed me into a room, a couch a bit like a dentist chair was in the middle where I sat until he came in the room. I stood and his hand was soon under my skirt as was his tongue. He was good but we didn't have time to make the most of it. His cock was lovely in my mouth but we soon ran out of time and I had to dash off. I would love him to tie me up and maybe use me a little whilst he was naked. I am not one for the 69 position but I am sure he could cover me in cum and perhaps he could open the blinds slightly so people may or may not see in....... Mmmm. I am still in touch and we are trying to arrange a meeting around his work which is tricky. The other was a Saturday afternoon. I raced to his, dressed in the lounge while he made a cuppa. We sat and chatted then I stood in front of him, he lifted my skirt and I turned round and walked to his lounge window. It had blinds but I could see out so who could see in I dont know. He was soon on his knees with his head buried in my thong and his tongue taking me places I had never been. He buried his head and tongue deeper and deeper licking my ass until I could take no more. I turned round and he took my cock straight into his throat, time and time again till I came in his mouth where I exploded. It is regrettable that he works in the week so meets with him are rare but I have met him again as you will find out. End of 2019 With internet meets you don't know what lies before you, will they be nice, clean etc. Yes I've met a turkey or two in my time. Even one recently who smelt of fags. I arrived and hecky thump he must have been a 40 a day man. I was in a nice black and white miniskirt, basque, stockings and heels. It was like having both Benson and Hedges in your thong at same time. However he knew what he was there for, he was soon on his knees with his tongue on my cock. He took it straight in his mouth and I wrapped my leg over his shoulder then round his kneck. He soon deep throated me, gagging as he did,coming up for air. He was a good cocksucker I'll give him that and he gagged a few times as I tightened my hold on his head pushing my cock deep in his throat. He continued to gag till I could no longer hold back and I came in his mouth thrusting as I came. Despite the fags I enjoyed the experience but I would not wish a repeat of the nicotine adventure. Despite meetings like that you do meet nice folk on line and future prospective meets. My latest contact advised me of a quiet country location we could meet one day. I rarely meet without checking places out and this was no exception. I went, dressed of course under male attire and walked from the parking area along a track then cut up into the woods. Out of breath but away from prying eyes I dressed or should I say undressed for photos. Actually, to be honest, I put it on video and then lift photos off it as it is so much easier. I was in a red basque, black stockings, thong, heels and a long black lacy see through negligee. I took a video and decided as it was quiet I would make my way to the car dressed. I walked back down the wood, heels digging into the soft ground so changed them for my trainers. I got to the pathway and found a little stream and washed the muck on my heels, once done I looked up and there not 6 feet in front of me was a guy on a mobility scooter ? and in the background a car coming into the parking area. My brain said bite the bullet so I carried on walking and was within 3 feet of him and the driver of the car. The car pulled behind mine so I made a point of going in the boot so he could have a good look. I was in a state of excitement and to be honest would have sucked him off there and then if he'd have asked. I repeated my visit some 3 or 4 weeks later and walked all the way from the car park area towards a reservoir. I took a video and walked all the way back in miniskirt and heels. I had almost completed my journey when 2 teenage girls appeared with a dog just up the road. They stopped and put the dog on a lead then walked passed me. I was in the back of the car by then so they couldnt see me much. Once gone I changed and during the change a woman came round the corner, luckily I was in shorts but my fishnets were still showing then. Dont think she noticed cos I made myself scarce again. 2019 has been very slow and I have not got out much. As I write this it is November and I managed to get up to my favourite haunt for a small photo session.I have got rid of the lacy black negligee and cut it down to form a nice see through skirt. Goes great with a revealing thong and the six suspender basque. It is sexy and free flowing and I look forward to exciting times wearing it however as we approach the end of the year I wonder what is in store and plan for next year. In my plans are more times in public areas although I do have to be careful that nobody knows me also to add to my photos at the servicetill but this time in a totally see through skirt. A friend said he knows someone who would love to watch and of course the inevitable but distant going to the city dressed and of course a woman or couple who wants to meet a CD. Tonight though I was at a mates and on the way home dropped in on a past acquaintance. I changed in a local car park and dressed in six suspender basque, natural stockings, despite having a small run in them, heels, see through lace skirt and basque topped off with see through top and a pair of my wifes black full knickers all under a coat and trousers. Of course a nice long wig and red lippie would finish it off. He let me in and I finished changing and was dressed as described. He wasted no time and went straight under my long skirt from the rear and sank his tongue in me, it felt amazing and he licked me deep within up and down from my balls to my arse. I then removed my panties which were actually my wife's, he watched closely as I pushed them down my legs, he couldn't wait for them to be removed and once removed his head went immediately under my skirt and his mouth covered my cock. I was in heaven as he deepthroated me time and time again. What happened next was not expected and the spur of the moment, i noticed that the light was dim so stopped to switch it on so the camera had more light as it was still filming but was a bit dark. I came back to him my stockinged leg showing in the split of my skirt, I turned with my back to him and again he buried his tongue deep within and licked my balls all the way up my arse. OMG I think I was gone at this stage. On the floor were several bottles ready for Xmas wrapping, one a full bottle of Southern Comfort so I picked it up and passed it to him, he knew what to do and slowly inserted it in me,bit by bit. It was sore at first but soon became oh so enjoyable. He thrust it at my arse time and time again OMG it was heaven. I turned round and he soon had me in his mouth taking me in and out however it was the pinnacle of our meeting when I moved nearer to him and sat down on the Southern Comfort bottle held on his lap. He inserted it in me and I rode it whilst my cock was deep down his throat. At one point the precum was hanging from my cock whilst I was fucked with a bottle until I could no longer hold on and came down his throat. OMG it was unbelievable. How do I top that in 2020. 2020 and Lockdown Well New Year has arrived and my first outing came sooner than expected. Dressed under male clothes I headed to the local gardens and managed to park just at the edge. I could get out of my car and just walk on the edge of the gardens with the cars driving passed. Regrettably, I had to move as school kids were heading my way. I was in my wife's coat and walked up the road and removed the coat. As I removed it I noticed a woman walking through the park towards me so I walked back to the car. I decided there and then to put my coat back on and walk towards her. She looked me up and down as I walked passed but must admit did not turn round to have another look. Perhaps I got away with it. At the beginning of Feb I had the chance to go to out at night. I made the most of it and had a walk, dressed, near the market place and then in early Feb the chance for a small photo session at home in the back yard. Who would have guessed that at that point matters were developing whereby we had a total lockdown due to a pandemic. No going out, no dressing outdoors and stuck in our homes. The only thing left was secretive dressing sessions while the wife was in, dressing while she was in bed, in the shower and while she was on the phone to friends. So whatever happens in 2020 has to be better than lockdown. I am hoping to make acquaintances on line so as soon as we are back then we can start to meet again. Until that time stay safe.