Very occasionally I have been asked by other men involved in the swinging scene, “do I regard myself as a cuckold”?

I suppose they ask me this question because they know that I have shared my wife with countless men over the years we have been involved in the swinging scene.

Put quite simply, I believe that a true cuckold doesn’t know he’s a cuckold if he knows nothing of his wife’s indiscretions.

How do I arrive at this statement! Well, during my first marriage my wife was being screwed by a few other men and I had no idea this was going on behind my back until I discovered her in the act, so therefore I was being cuckolded.

During my current marriage it happened again and it wasn’t until I was walking through an office in the building in which I worked and where my wife also worked, someone made the noise associated with the call of a Cuckoo. At first I paid no heed but when it happened whenever I walked through that office I began to suspect I was the target of those calling “cuckoo”.

Until that point in time I had no reason to suspect my wife of straying away from home but it prompted me to start doing some research into her movements outside of business hours but found nothing conclusive.

Then one day an envelope appeared on my desk enclosing an unsigned letter naming a director of the organisation and a suggestion that I make discreet enquiries into his lunchtime habits which apparently involved 2 to 3 hour business lunches. It didn’t take long to work out that he and my wife were the only two involved in these long business lunches, at which point the penny dropped, they were having an affair.

So marriage number two and a cuckold yet again.

Ah but what about the times complete strangers had fucked my wife with my knowledge and approval, does that make me a cuckold? I think not.

Another man fucking my wife while I’m in another room fucking his wife makes neither of us cuckolds, how could it, we both know what’s happening to our wives and it’s with our approval.

The second scenario is my wife and I go to a swingers party, my wife wanders off and I later find her in a room with several men, some of whom have already fucked her, one is in the process of fucking her and the rest keeping their cocks hard and awaiting their turn.

The final scenario is that my wife and I have found a suitable single male to fuck her in a contact magazine or we have booked into a hotel for the night with the intention of finding someone to fuck her.

In all the above scenarios she is being fucked with my knowledge and certainly don’t regard myself as being cuckolded.

So let’s look for a term that best describes what I should be called in these circumstances.

Voyeur? Yes, I enjoy watching my wife having sex with other men, particularly when I see she is enjoying herself and if these other guys can give her bigger and longer orgasms than I can, it makes me happy and I don’t have any hang ups about it. However, I wouldn’t class myself as a voyeur, simply because I don’t spend all my time watching her being fucked by other guys, in fact when she’s with just one chap and no one else I’m happy to remain sitting in the bar having a drink waiting for them to finish and come back down from our room.

A pimp? No way! I might arrange for her to have nights of passion with other men but the only thing that is exchanged are bodily fluids, not money.

An old English word that could be of use is “wittol” or “wittold” the description given to a man who is aware of his wife’s infidelity and acquiesces to it. I would agree that this term described me when my wife was having an affair with her boss for over two years and when I became aware of it and said nothing and let her get on with it I was no longer a cuckold and became a wittol.

Are you with me so far?

So I am happy for my wife to have sex with complete strangers, I am happy that she often had a better time with them than she did with me, it doesn’t bother me if I do or do not watch her having sex with these guys and I don’t get hung up on having sex with her after these other guys have enjoyed her body. If she asks me to make love to her after another man has screwed her I will and I admit I find it very enjoyable but I can take it or leave it.

After all this I am still none the wiser as to what I should call myself and would welcome sensible suggestions for a term that makes sense of it all.

Perhaps I don’t need to explain myself to anyone and if I was asked why I was happy for other men to have sex with my wife, I’d suggest they try it for themselves and see what they believe is a suitable term for them to be called. Assuming of course their wife agrees and is happy to continue with many other men as willing sexual partners, as I was.

To round this off, I was happy in the knowledge that my wife was enjoying the sex she had with other men and they enjoyed what her body had to offer, even if she was going behind my back. I took the view that if I couldn’t fully satisfy her then it was wrong of me to stand in her way if she felt the need for other men, even if it was behind my back.

We are still together after 50 years and I would not change anything that happened in the past. Yes, the infidelity with her boss hurt but she was getting the satisfaction and attention she was craving and I knew our marriage would survive it.