Hi. This is a long story. I’ve been asked by some people to write about my trip, so here it is, from start to finish with a few bits missed out. I’m not a good writer so bear with me. (Thank you to Microsoft spellchecker) If it gets boring move down a bit further. I’m 56 years old, divorced and am Mr Average living in a Council House, that’s why I’m divorced I suppose. I've been divorced for 13 year and haven’t had sex since my wife left me. I’ve only ever slept with 2 women in my life and despite trying to answer loads of ads on here I never get replies. I suppose I’m just too old and with only a normal sized cock. All women on here seem to want is Brad pit with a 9 inch cock who can do it 10 times a night. I thought about going to Thailand lots of time, but just didn’t have the courage to do it. Then one night in the pub I overheard a man talking about his trip to Bangkok and I listened with open ears as he told other blokes about all the girls he had been with. Now this man was nothing to write home about, no Brad Pitt, and about the same age as me so I went home thinking, if he can do it then so can I. I remembered seeing an ad on the Holidays board of this site so searched around and finally found it. I emailed the advertiser and he replied with all the details. To cut a long story shorter I booked with him and after being recommended the same airline as the rest of the group, sorted that out and we all met up at Heathrow. I was expecting to be the oldest, but everyone else was around my age with 1 chap being about 28-30. So after a long flight to Bangkok, we arrived safely, got through Immigration and Customs and into the waiting Mini-bus which took us to our Hotel. It was Hot, VERY hot but the Hotel was much cooler with fans everywhere. The Hotel was very nice, and we all had our own air conditioned rooms with double bed. As it was still only around mid-day Jim said we had various options. We could stay at the hotel and sleep or go out for a wander and meet up later. I was knackered and picked to stay at the hotel and made my way to the pool where I had a few beers and a swim and then back to my room for a few hours sleep. I was awoken at 6PM by a telephone call. It was Jim saying we should be ready for a meet up at in the bar around 6-30 to 7 pm to then head out for some food. I was still knackered but this was probably a once in a lifetime trip and I wasn’t going to miss anything. Into the shower, comb the few hairs left on my head, get dressed and then downstairs to the bar. 3 of the other men were already there and we got chatting. 2 of them and some others had gone with Jim to a massage place where they had been massaged and, one of them said, nearly had his head fucked off by a girl about 22. I was gobsmacked. While I was sleeping they were already doing it !!. Never mind. Jim arrived and bit by bit so did the others with the exception of one of the men who said he was just too tired and stayed in bed. We walked about 500 yards down the road into a small but very pretty Thai Restaurant where we all had an incredible slap up meal of Thai food costing each of us about the same as 3 pints of Beer in the UK. I couldn’t keep my eyes of the waitresses, they were all so beautiful but still had the worry that I was going to be far too old for any girls in the bars. Jim told me not to worry and bet me 10 quid that I would be back in bed by 12 with a better looking girl than any of the waitresses. I didn’t take his bet, he knew the place a lot better than me. We stayed in the place drinking various things until at around 8-30 Jim told us it was time to go. He went outside and we all piled after him and into 3 waiting Taxis. About 5 minutes later we arrived at what Jim said was Soi Cowboy, paid the taxis and began out stroll down this closed road of bars. There were girls everywhere ! Sitting outside the go-go's on stools and in little bars, all calling us to go into their bar. Jim took us to a bar called the Tilac and we sat down and ordered drinks. I was speechless, in front of me where 2 long raised bars each with about 5 girls dancing, all around the place where girls in bikinis or dressing gowns. I asked Jim which ones would go with the men and he laughed and said All of them. I couldn’t believe it. As our drinks arrived so did some of the girls, planting themselves on different men’s laps and asking for drinks. I was watching one of the dancing girls who, to my mind was Miss Universe, but also young enough to be my grand daughter. She could see I was watching her and smiled at me a few times. I thought she was doing that as she was being paid to do it but I was completely stunned when after she finished dancing she came over and sat next to me. She was (to my mind) stunningly beautiful, her skin was so incredibly smooth and she was just so completely gorgeous. Thai girls don’t speak a lot of English but this one tried. She asked me where I came from and what I did then told me she was from some place I can’t remember and that she was 25 and her name was Noi. She looked about 16 and we joked about it until she got her ID card and called the mamasan over to translate, where I was told she was indeed 25. I bought her a drink and noticed some of the other men doing the same. I was actually shaking with both apprehension and excitement. After a few more drinks Jim suggested we move to another bar. I was a bit disappointed but thought I better play along for the first night. The girl was disappointed too, and asked me to come back to see her. Off we went to another Bar. Same sort of setup though a bit smaller. Once again the girls were stunners, even the girls serving drinks behind the bar were stunners. We were immediately surrounded by girls, most if not all of them potential Miss World's. It was the same deal as the last, girls asking for drinks which they then get a percentage of. Jim told us that the first night as were all still Jetlagged it would be best to pick a girl and go back reasonably early then we would all be refreshed in the morning. 2 of the blokes picked girls from this bar and after some discussion with Jim they went back to the Hotel with the girls on their arms. I asked Jim if we could go back to the last bar, the Tilac and the others agreed so off we went. As we went in the girls saw us and came over, the one that had talked to me before came straight over, kissed me on the cheek and asked "you come back for me?" I said maybe and we all sat down again. I asked Jim what would we have to do to take a girl back. He told us that if the girl agreed we should tell her to "Pay Bar" and give the girl 400Baht (about 6 Pounds) then we should give the girl 1000 baht in the morning. I asked Noi if she would like to come with me and she beamed with pleasure saying "Pay Bar" I gave her the money and she disappeared for about 5 minutes then reappeared looking like something from a fashion show. I just couldn’t believe this gorgeous thing was going to spend the night with me. Some of the other men had also picked some girls, and some said they were just too tired. I couldn’t care. We jumped in a Taxi and went back to the hotel. I was unbelievably embarrassed when collecting my key but the lady at reception just handed me the key and said ‘Good Night’ and up we went to my room. I sat on the bed too embarrassed to say or do anything and Noi sat next to me. I can still remember her words. “ You not like me ?” and I replied “yes of course, I think your beautiful” she looked a little curious then said “ why you not kiss me or touch me” and I just had to tell her I was shy and hadn’t slept with a woman for 13 years. Then, and I remember this SO well, she kissed me full on the lips, smiled and said “you good man, I take shower and we have 13 years fun” and with that she giggled and disappeared into the shower room. I just sat there watching TV like a complete prick and after about 5 minutes she re-appeared with just a towel wrapped around her and said “you take shower now” I was into the shower stripped off and showering within seconds, paying careful attention to the wedding tackle. When I re-appeared she was already in bed with the towel on the dresser next to her. I got into bed and put my hand on her stomach. I have never felt skin so smooth as this before. What happened ? For the next hour she did things to me and I to her that I had only read or dreamed about. After that she jumped up and dashed into the shower and I suspected she was going to leave, but no she returned and jumped back into bed snuggling up to me telling it was cold for her. Then she asked shyly if she could have something to eat, I told her yes and she picked up the in-room menu, and after asking me if I wanted something telephoned down. About 15 minutes later a HUGE pile of food arrived which to my amazement still only cost less than 6 pounds, and we sat cross-legged on the bed stuffing ourselves. She asked all about me, and in my pidgin English told her about myself. Then she told me about herself. She was from somewhere up north, and had left her village as she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life cutting sugar cane and planting rice. She dumped the empty plates on the floor then after wiping and cleaning me up with a wet towel decided she wanted another round of lovemaking. I just didn’t think I would be up to it, but she soon sorted that out ! I fell asleep with her in my arms and slept like the dead.. I was woken by a strange feeling and when I was fully awake realised I was being given a Blow Job. I can fully recommend this as the way to wake up in the morning. When she realised I was awake, she got up then sat down on it. Hi Ho Silver ! When this finished we both showered and as I came out of the shower the phone rang. It was Jim telling us it was 10.00 and if we wanted to have a look around we should be down at the restaurant downstairs in half an hour. We both got dressed and I asked her if she wanted some breakfast, which she did. I thought I would sort the money thing out first, and even though Jim suggested I give her 1000Baht (about £16 ) I gave her 2000 as she had been so good with me. She got embarrassed but took the money putting her hands together and bowing in the traditional Thai ‘wai’. We went downstairs and into the restaurant where some of the others were already eating, some with and some without the girls. I sat down at the table with the chap who went to bed and didn’t come out and he was shocked that we had found girls as lovely as these. When I told him about the bars we had visited he kicked himself but said he really was too tired to go out and felt fine now. We had some breakfast and a lovely pot of tea and I watched this tiny little thing who had raped me the night before demolish enough food for 3 people!!. She kept asking me “why you look me?” and I just had to tell her it was because she was so beautiful. To which she just replied “thank you” After the food Jim said that he would take us for a wander around to stretch our muscles and get a bit acclimatised if we wanted. My lady said she had to get back as she had washing and stuff to do but she would be in the bar tonight if I wanted. She blew me a kiss and she and most of the other girls went. The only one that stayed was one of about 3 or so who was with the oldest man on the trip who was 64. He and her decided to stay in the hotel and made for the pool while we went back to our rooms to put our shorts on, before meeting up and going out. This was our first real venture out into a really different culture than our own and Oh Boy was it different. The sights, the smells, the people THE TRAFFIC !!!!!. But what was so different was the politeness of the Thai people. Incredible and unbelievable is all I can say. We stayed out for about 3 hours, returning to the hotel for a lazy few hours by the pool before another few hours Kip. I was quite surprised to find my bed had been made up crisp and neat with nice clean dry Towels too. While around the pool Jim asked which of us wanted a Trip to the Grand Palace and a River trip the next day, we all did so he went off to arrange that, telling us he would be back down in the Bar at 7PM for anyone who wanted to go out. Tonight it would be the Notorious Patpong. I had a lovely few hours sleep and woke before the phone rang and was down in the bar with a new shirt bought that very afternoon and freshly showered. A glass of REAL orange juice for a little over 30p woke me up and cooled me down. Tonight we went to a different restaurant where I had some massive King Prawns cooked in some incredibly tasty sauce along with some rice and another plate of fried mixed veg in Oyster sauce, washed down with a few beers. Cost ? mine was just under £5. It would have cost about 25 quid in Birmingham where I live. After that, off we went back out into the hot humidity of a Bangkok night, and into taxis that took us to Patpong, the world famous nightlife area. Jim took us to one of the famed ‘upstairs bars’ to see some shows, warning us to watch the bar bills like hawks. What happens in practically all Thailand bars is that you order a drink and when it comes they pop a bill in a little bamboo cup in front of you, however Jim explained that in some of these upstairs bars and even in some ordinary downstairs bars it is common to find that drinks that you have never had or maybe lady drinks that you haven’t bought are added to your bill. With this in mind we all piled up the stairs for the entertainment. Well it was diverse, I can say that. Ladies shooting bits of banana from their nether regions out into the audience, a lady smoking a cigarette from her pussy and one pulling razor blades out of her tiny little orifice. Not exactly to my taste but at least I can say I have seen it. We departed after an hour or so, closely checking our bills ( we didn’t get done). Off to some Go-Go bars. The Kings corner was the first. The quality of the girls in this place is beyond description. Its like being in the front row of a Miss World contest, but knowing you can have any one of them that you want. Jim told us to watch out for the Ladyboys though as there are some there and on closer examination of the dancers you could pick out the odd one or two. He also told us that these girls are expensive with most wanting 3000 baht for a night and many only wanting a ‘short time’, meaning you pay the bar and race back to your hotel or the closest hotel available, screw yourself silly for an hour then let her go. Not my idea of fun either, though looking at some of the beauties dancing I was tempted. We did the rounds of a few more bars then ended up at the Pink Panther. Just as we got there the girls were changing over dancing and as the music started the lights went low, and within a few more minutes they all took their tops off !! OH HEAVEN ! Tits of all sizes (though most were small) and shapes. The song finished and these girls all ran off giggling and another lot arrived with bikinis on and continued dancing like in the other bars. One immediately caught my eye. And she saw me watching her and on finishing her dance she came over to me and asked me if I wanted her to sit with me, to which I agreed. The routine was similar to the last night, and needless to say she came back to the Hotel with me where my poor body was, once again subjected to severe sexual abuse by this tiny 22 year old lady………….twice. We were both still asleep when the phone rang and it was Jim letting us know the minibus would be at the hotel in an Hour and a half so we should finish up and get down for some breakfast, Long trousers needed at the Palace too!. I settled up with the lady giving her 1200 Baht and once again the lady came down and had some breakfast along with the others. After this the ladies went their way and we all piled into a minibus over to the Grand Palace. Amazing is my only word for the place. It is beyond description. After this we all bundled back into the minibus ending up at the river where there was a strange boat waiting. It was a Rice barge and we all took a seat for a nice slow cruise along the river. I didn’t realise that the price I had paid also included lunch. It was a great afternoon, a long slow cruise on the river looking at things from a different view, drinking ice cold beer and eating some superb food. That night we went to the Nana Plaza with its outdoor bars and gogo’s. I wasn’t really excited by this place and asked Jim how I could get back to Soi Cowboy the place we went to on our first night. Some of the others wanted to go back too though 2 of the blokes wanted to stay with some girls they were talking to. Jim sorted out the taxis and we made our way back to Soi Cowboy. We headed back to the Tilac bar again and as we entered there was a little scream and Noi, my lady from the first night came running up and gave me a big hug. Some of the girls who had been with the other guys soon came back too. I was very happy to be with Noi. She was completely feminine, polite, beautiful and non demanding asking for nothing. Even though it was still early I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She beamed and I gave her Bar Fine money. Once again, a few minutes later she arrived back fully clothed looking like a girl from a dream and I nearly had to pinch myself to remind me she was my girl for the night. I checked my watch and it was still only 10.00 She asked with a wicked smile if I wanted to go back to my hotel now. I asked her what she wanted to do. “Eat” she replied with a lovely girly giggle. We left with one of the other blokes and his girl and the girls took us to a tiny Thai restaurant. I asked Noi to pick the food for me but told her it mustn’t be too hot. She chose her food and then ordered a selection of food for me which I must say was superb. We finished off with some cold beers. I asked Noi what she wanted to do next and she whispered in my ear between giggles, “we go back room and I play saxophone” I was clueless and didn’t know what she meant. She turned to me, put her thumb in her mouth and then it hit me and I laughed, She collapsed into a pile of giggling femininity. We went back to the Hotel and this time it was even better than the first time with her. Better than anytime with anyone. I had never ever had a blow job in my life before Thailand. My ex wife wouldn’t do it and the only other girl I had sex with was in the park. I had been in Bangkok only 2 full days and had already been blown 3 times. I had only ever gone down on a woman once, my wife. It was a fight to get through her pubic hair and she didn’t even like it when I did it. This beautiful woman in my bed loved it and only had the thinnest pubic hair possible. I could have licked her all day and night. I think I might have done !. Morning finally arrived and once again I was awoken to the feeling of her wonderful lips wrapped around my cock. I had to be dreaming, but I wasn’t. This morning it was off down to Pattaya so Noi helped me pack my stuff before we trundled off down to breakfast. We ate a nice breakfast before we said our goodbyes, she making me promise to come and see her when I came back up to Bangkok, but that was all, no reprimands for going there, no nagging, and as she went she slipped a pack of condoms into my hand whispering “ be careful” before making that delightful giggle and running off. I nearly cancelled the trip down to Pattaya but then sense kicked in reminding me that I was on holiday. The Minibus turned up and we bought something to drink on the journey while the driver piled out stuff onboard and on top. It was a 3 hour ride down to Pattaya and it was as different arriving there as it was arriving in Bangkok from London. We checked into the Diana Inn and all met up again downstairs later for a beer. Continued in Pattaya Nights.