A difficult experience at our first party. It was my (Steve) idea and my wife (Liv) had, as with most wives, needed convincing on it (to the point where, once we'd agreed to do it, she wouldn't talk about it again until the night). On the evening of the event, we were both nervous but I thought we would have a good time and things would change. We both made an effort, but I thought Liv dressed fairly conservatively (a bit of cleavage but a knee-length skirt) - I'm not sure she knew what to expect... We didn't have any 'rules' as such: in the taxi journey to the venue, she said quietly that she was keen that we agree to just watch, but I encouraged her to keep it open-ended and see what happens. However, on arriving, it became clear that Liv was the 'big hit', with several men coming over to us in the early part of the evening. She was polite but cool with them to begin with but as the champagne began to take effect became more comfortable in conversation. About 2 hours after arriving, people around us started to remove their clothes and one of the guys encouraged 'us' (looking at Liv) to join in. The moment had arrived... I had sex with one woman (Sarah) but found it awkward (and I am sure she would agree) - I found her reasonably attractive but had the sense she was unsure on me. She seemed to want to cuddle me for prolonged stretches, possibly to delay the need for anything else... Liv's evening was very different: she was wrapped around a male model-resembling guy (I think called Jason) who very quickly had her clothes off and was inside of her within minutes. She had her eyes closed and mouth open. I suddenly began to feel uneasy but returned my attention to Sarah, in the hope we could move things forward. I looked over again a while later and two other men had joined Liv and Jason, one similarly good looking, the other with a less impressive physique (and a gold chain, which I thought would be a problem for her, given she doesn't like jewellery on men) but an enormous penis (think his name was Adrian). She kept her eyes closed and didn't look at the men's penises but stroked their stomachs and then took their dicks in her hands. On grasping the large penis, she did open them and seemed surprised! Jason orgasmed with a shudder and withdrew, heading to the bar in the corner of the room (high-fiving a friend en route) without a scrap of clothing on him (although he hardly needed them with a physique like that). The other two guys then began to position themselves with Adrian stepping between her legs. She seemed unsure at this point and was speaking with him as he rolled the condom on, I think to give him instructions ('go slow' most likely being one!). He poured lubricant over his penis - this thing was easily twice the size in length of mine and significantly thicker, and I had almost forgotten Sarah (now basically just lying on top of me) as he pushed it in. She winced and began to breathe quickly. To his credit, he paused and asked her a question, to which she nodded in reply, before they smiled at each other. Sarah interrupted this to ask whether I could get her a drink and I spent a few minutes trying to locate my wallet (my trousers were behind the sofa we were lying on). I did find it but a nearby couple offered us a top-up from their open bottle. I then returned my attention to Liv. I now had a view of Liv's open legs with Adrian's huge cock pushing inside her. She had almost forgotten the other guy was there (he just stood there masturbating at this point) and her hands were on Adrian's hips as he began to speed up. As before, her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, but her face carried a strange look of concentration. After a few minutes (no more than 10), she put her hands on his stomach, to slow him down, and her body tensed. She threw her head back and arched her back. I was very aware at this point that I had never made her cum from penetration but that gut punch would only become clear to me later - the situation was so surreal that I struggled to focus on what that meant in the moment. He paused for a moment and then resumed, her moans (now audible over the music playing in the room) growing louder as he went. He was getting near and squeezed her tits, with her hands on his, as he came. They held each other for about 10-15 minutes, his penis still inside her, before separating and gathering their things. I said goodbye to Sarah and we tidied ourselves up, and Liv and I left, without speaking, beyond a few awkward smiles. The emotions that came afterwards have been hard to manage. I wanted to have sex with her the next day, almost to reassert myself, but her pussy was too sore (and remained that way for a few days). Neither of us has any mad desire to do that again but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. I am a confident man but just feel strange about what happened, and where it leaves us as a couple. Any advice people have on how to move forward from this would be welcomed.