Isn't it strange how most males seem to lose there inhibitions when in a public house toilet ? It could have been either Thursday or Sunday because the Bridge Inn had karaoke on both evenings. Although I think Charlie only came on a Sunday, yes, it must have been Sunday. I was standing in front of the urinal admiring the perfectly shape of an elm tree my urine had traced in the condensation on its stainless steel back panel, when in comes Charlie. ' Look at that Charlie, its could win the Turner Prize. ' I said ,surprised in a way as we were not that well acquainted ' Brain you've lost me. Dennis just called you up.' Charlie a dead ringer for that Crocodile Dundee chap, is an irresistible magnet for ladies of a certain age. That night he was with his following from Homewood. I'd been intrigued earlier as he'd chosen as a dance partner a 'Nellie Pledge ' look alike with same fog horn voice to match. Not really his type I thought. ' You on a promise tonight.' I said speculatively. ' Brian I need regular sex Dolly's always available . She wears real cami knickers and suspenders, not those new fanged things. ' 'Right I said.' making an exit. As I came of stage Charlie beckoned me over ' Dolly thinks its some sort of competition ' 'What is ? ' ' That Turner something or other you mentioned.' ' Oh yes it is a. If I'd been taking a Dewitt's Kidney pill it would have been in glorious colour: dad used to swear by them they turned your piss green. Not a mushy pea green you understand, more like the garden peas Sainsbury's serve with Scampi .' 'Do you know Brian I was told by a doctor that I'd a kidney or bladder problem which caused back ache when I stood for some time. I was so desperate I tried everything asked pharmacist if they had them kidney pills said they were no longer available.' I've noticed your back and legs are playing you up. Why don't you let me make you an appointment with my physiotherapist she's Swedish ? Charlie's enigmatic smile steadily held my gaze. That's how I met the delectable Sanni.... .