Hello Again Brian, Thanks for your message,  I wouldn.t describe Tim as a super stud, He was very inexperienced and not as dominant as i would have preferred, His cock was thick but quite short. but what made it so enjoyable was the fact that like many men he wasn't getting any  sex at home in any  other way than the missionary position, and then reluctantly. So when he came to me,he came with a fantasy, He had been watching a lot of porn. Sissy faggots, being fucked, being pushed to their knees and being forced to suck straight men off.  Then In one day He had the power to tell a sissy slut to get on her knees, He could look down on her as she gagged,trying to swallow all that spunk he had been made to save. I believe in his own way he was punishing his cold wife as he bent me over my computer table, I remeber his throaty, "Fuck!, Yes, Am i hurting you Cathy" It took two attempts before my cunt yielded and believe me, a thick cock pushed hard can hurt. any groan or sob just invited another hard thrust, But once my cunt adjusted to the girth the pleasure was intense,soon leading to my first Orgasm.

You say in your mail that you end up wanking because men seldom want to suck, I can only speak from my own experience,  They are the men i prefer, In my case, as a TV being sucked doesn't do much for me, I don't only  want to look like a woman, I have the womans desires, A womans greatest desire is being kissed and fucked.  in most cases i am like most sissy porn stars my clitty hangs down, I cry out in extasy as a few weak spurts leak from it as i orgasm, With a good man i will be climaxing again fifteen minutes later,
Oh Brian, How slutty that makes me feel, Have you really forgotten how you took your first Cock., I remember mine like it was yesterday, and it was many years ago,, But it  was given with a lot of vasaline ,patience and love,
Firstly.(Easily said)  you must totally relax, plenty of lube, best on all fours, nine times out of ten he will grip your hips, Instinctively he knows you will try to pull away when it hurts, but he is at a state now where your  feelings are of no matter., He is going to penetrate you no matter how you cry and belive me crying can have the opposite effect, it will just turn him on more. You must accept the fact now, no matter how big his cock is You are going to be fucked.
So you now feel him pushing against your cunt. You must assist him by pushing yourself as if you are going to the toilet, His blunt cock head will have pushed the lube inside so try to reach back and pull your cheeks apart to stretch your opening ,Hopefully by now he is producing lots of precum, The first thrust can be violent, often going all the way, Again it is his instinct, The alpha male has conquered his bitch,, I find it helps to hang your head in submission, perhaps wimper a little, Now be prepared for the ride. I have found that Men are like children,,They need praise and encourement, They love to hear a girl talk dirty. "Oh my god, Your too big, Its splitting me, Please Stop, your filling my cunt, Oh YEs, Fuck me, Give your slut all your hot spunk,, Yes yes yes."  It certainly helps the love making,At least it seems to work for me,
Well Brian, I hope this has jogged your memory and is some assistance, If we were closer i would be happy to have helped in a more possative way, Cathy xxx