I confess

In the late sixties in a working class town in the north of England there was little to do on a Tuesday afternoon when it was half day closing. I worked in a food shop and Saturday was usually very busy so all shopkeepers closed up on what they considered was the quietest afternoon . My town was Tuesday.

There was literally nothing to do so l took to going to the cinema particularly if the weather wasn’t very good. A packet of ten cigarettes (my mother didn’t approve) and the entrance fee and I enjoyed the anonymity of it. On reflection many of the movies l saw were not very good but l looked young for my age and getting into the adult type movies wasn’t always easy.

One wet and miserable Tuesday afternoon l went to see a light hearted movie about boys meeting girls. Some of the girls were only wearing bikini’s and it was all about them trying to get off with each other.

A man of about fifty came across and asked for a light for his cigarette. Having given him my box of matches he starts speaking to me and asking what I thought of the bikini clad women. Obviously I told him that they were very pretty and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of what they had. I didn’t want to sound unworldly. He then sits down next to me and starts talking about what it might be like having sex with them. Again I didn’t want to sound virginal so I made positive noises about how nice it would be.

He then puts his hand on my leg and starts rubbing my knee. I’m instantly turned on and let him start moving his way up my leg. By the time he reached my upper thigh l am rock hard and he quickly starts rubbing his hand all over my cock. I had never done anything like this before and l reached over to feel his cock too. It didn’t feel as hard as mine but I guessed it was bigger. After a few minutes of mutual fondling he said to go to the toilets and he would follow.

Full of lust l went. He followed quickly after me and in no time he had my cock out of my trousers and was rubbing it and stroking my bottom. I lasted no time at all and had one hell of an orgasm. I’d never felt anything like it before . Once the orgasm had subsided he left to go back to his seat and I instantly regretted allowing this to happen and suddenly felt very ashamed of myself. Instead of going back to my seat l left the cinema in a state of confusion and shame.

I remember walking home that day trying to put the turmoil l felt into perspective. My Irish Catholic mother would have had me exorcised if she knew . But I needed to go to confession and rid myself of this guilt.

My own parish priest would probably recognise my voice so it seemed sensible to go and confess my sin to a priest in a church in the town centre . Easy to do as l worked in the town anyway. I told my mother that I was meeting old school mates after work and would probably go for a burger with them. With an hour to kill before the priest would hear confession l paced up and down the high street trying to work out how l was going to come clean without sounding a complete pervert. I stalled and stalled about telling him what I had done but eventually there was no choice.

In l went and told him what had happened. I expected the priest to warn me of the fires of hell and to never think of such things again. Instead I was met with sympathy and understanding. He briefly talked about guilt and sin and how it goes hand in hand. If you don’t feel guilty then it’s less likely to be a sin. As he said nobody died, nobody was harmed. He then went through the absolving part and just before I was about to leave he asked me if I was brave enough to meet him face to face after confession was over so we could talk more about what was sinful and what was not. I was so relieved at that point I agreed and waited at the back of the church until the light went out over the confessional and he emerged and walked over towards me .

Father Damian was average in many ways. He was not tall, not fabulously built but he did have an attractive face and a broad smile. He said let’s walk round to the presbytery and have a cup of coffee . He looked to be a man in his thirties and I felt immediately at ease in his company . He said his housekeeper had gone home so anything we said would not be overheard.

Coffee made, Damian began talking about masturbation or self abuse as the church liked to call it (not Damian’s favourite phrase) and how often l did it. I told him as little as possible as the church frowned upon it. He then asked me what dominated my thoughts during the day and I had to admit it was sex. He then asked me about what I thought about after I had cum. The answer was that I had calmed down and was able to think of other things. Often l could be in a room of people but find it difficult to concentrate on what was being said. My mind was being redirected towards wondering if they had had sex or what they looked like naked. Mostly it was about girls but not always.

Damian leaned forward and admitted that he masturbated three or four times a week and that I should do the same. He said I would feel like l was controlling my sexual emotions rather than the other way round. To say I was shocked was an understatement. It was the opposite of everything l had been told added to the fact that a priest admitted to wanking off. This was another world. After another briefing on the subject l agreed to give it a go. In fact I started to get quite excited and couldn’t wait to get home and give it a go. I also agreed to meet with Damian again next week and we would discuss how l felt about it.

For the following week I spent a lot of time in my room after work naked and constantly playing with my cock. Every ejaculation brought less and less guilt and I began to consider if Damian was doing the same as me at the same time. I had relaxed into my sexuality and I couldn’t wait to tell him. At the end of the week l went back to the church and waited for Damian to finish hearing confessions. I had quickly come to the conclusion that I didn’t feel the need to confess anything.

The same thing as last week occurred and we went back to the presbytery for coffee. Our conversation centred on how many times we had wanked that week. Mine was six and Damian admitted to four. We also discussed about how we felt about what we had done. I told him that any guilt l felt at first quickly disappeared. As he said. Nobody died and nobody was hurt.

We even discussed what was the best way of masturbating and what gave us the most pleasure. At this point Damian introduced the phrase ‘erogoness zone ‘.I’d never heard of it and it had to be explained to me. I couldn’t believe that there could be more pleasure than wanking and reaching orgasm . Damian asked if I wanted to know more. Yes of course I did.

He then asked if I was brave enough to stand in front of him naked so he could show me. I hesitated. I told him I would have an erection ( as if I wouldn’t ) and be embarrassed . He then suggested that he could be naked too. That was too tempting so l agreed. Our clothes were removed slowly and we kept looking over at each other not wanting to be the first naked. So it was on a count of three that we removed our underwear. Wow!. Damian was just as erect as me.

We both stood in front of each other and stared at each others nakedness. I gave in first and went to touch my cock and gave it a tug. Damian moved closer to me and l caught the scent of his body. It’s a smell that I always remember and it really turned me on. His hands went to my chest and Damian gently stroked my nipples. It was like turning a light on. It was instant sexual pleasure. How could I have lived without knowing about this? I started stroking my cock again and it did indeed take my sex feelings to new heights.

His next move was to put his hand between my bum cheeks and make its way towards my balls. He then gently stroked between my anus and scrotum. Again waves of pleasure. At this point l’m tugging hard on my cock. I was having terrific sensations and any inhibitions I might have had vanished. This was too good. Damian whispered that he had one more thing to show me and not to be shocked.

His mouth went towards my cock and he started to lick the underside of it just behind where the foreskin is attached. This was fantastic l started to stroke my nipples while he was doing this and it quickly became clear that I was not going to restrain myself. I told Damian that I was going to cum thinking he would stop licking me but he didn’t .

Instead he enveloped his mouth over my cock. This was far too much and I orgasmed right into his mouth. It was so intense my leg began to shake and I went very weak desperately needing to sit down. Damian did not stop and insisted on draining every drop. If l thought the man wanking me in the cinema was hot it was nothing compared to this . I was in a different zone and sort of collapsed onto Damian landing with my face on his lap.

I automatically leaned my face towards his cock and returned the favour. My first oral and it felt so natural but he didn’t want me to suck him like he did me to completion, instead he lifted my head up and let his load fly into my face. It was too tempting not to lick any drops that landed near my mouth. This was breaking more barriers than I could ever have dreamt of and all in the space of a few minutes .

Post coital again and I did feel funny. However there wasn’t the shame and remorse l had experienced the first time. Damian said his usual thing about nobody dying or being hurt, just two people enjoying each others company. It helped put things into perspective and when l left him that evening l definitely did not have that self loathing feeling. I even promised to meet him again the next week as he had more to show me. Really? There couldn’t possibly be more!

If I thought relieving myself six times the other week was good it was nothing to the times l relived the events of last week. The pure lust of it had me spraying my seed at every opportunity. The fact that he said there was more to come guaranteed l would be visiting next week . So with all inhibitions gone l turned up early and had to wait around a lot longer than I wanted to struggling to keep my patience. At last the confessional light went out and out stepped my teacher.

The walk to the presbytery was in silence. I suppose we were both thinking about what tonight’s lesson would involve. Once inside Damian immediately turned to me and held me tight and then kissed me full on the lips. He then asked if I trusted him, which I did, and he ordered me to remove my clothes when I had done so to remove his. For me this was quite erotic and seeing his cock bending up to look at him enhanced the lust we probably both had. I was then told to lean over the kitchen table with my bum facing Damian.

His hands went to stroking the small of back and down over my bum cheeks .This was very pleasant and occasionally a finger would brush passed my anus and make its way to my balls. It was a lovely feeling and I was enjoying the attention and felt quite relaxed . Something warm and slippery was poured over my lower regions and the massaging began again. There is something very nice about hands sliding effortlessly over skin but when it is linked to sexual feelings it’s fantastic.

Damian could have done that to me for hours. Rather than hours it was minutes before I realised his lovely cock was involved in the massage as l felt it sliding up and down my bum cheeks. He knew how to heighten my sensations when he concentrated on the area between my balls and anus. By this point l was ready for anything. The tip of Damian’s cock would touch the opening to my bum hole and he would often leave it there for a few seconds and press gently. After a couple of times I found myself pushing back against it. I was really quite sensitive there.

As one thing lead to another it wasn’t long before l felt myself being penetrated . He was very gentle but nevertheless it is a very strange feeling the first time. Slowly he made his way in deeper and again I found myself pushing back to him and a slow and soft rhythm emerged. Because he wasn’t all that big the whole thing didn’t feel forced and was very pleasurable and I was happy to let Damian take his time and judging by the sounds he was making he was making the best of it. After a few minutes things began to change. The rhythm increased and so too did his breathing. As the intensity grew so did the thrusts of Damian trying to get in further. Eventually the speed rapidly increased and l felt a tightening of his hands around my hips and a loud groan and a huge sigh as he came deep inside me. He collapsed over me and neither of us moved for a few minutes.

This was the first time I realised that I had as much satisfaction from giving pleasure as to receiving it. So when I offered to return the favour he declined telling me that if I wanted to do the same to him then l should spend the next week considering it and him letting me do it to him next week. I was happy with this as l could spend the week imagining it and wanking about it. Next week it was!

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how much my body was abused that week. It seemed like there couldn’t possibly be any more cum to unload . But l did resist for a whole day before meeting Damian. So as usual I waited at the back of the church for the confessional light to go out and out it did but l was shocked to see another priest emerge from it. It wasn’t Father Damian. He walked past me, nodded, but that was it. Another parish member was leaving the church shortly after and l asked him if Father Damian was ill or something. He shocked me again informing me that he had been moved to another parish in the Midlands.

Yes I was upset but I’m not sure if it was Damian l missed most or that the ultimate thrill of sex with another man was denied me. That pleasure would have to wait for the charity shop manager.