I have been in and around the swinging scene for a little while now and this certainly is not my first site I have been a member of, but there is one thing that each and every site have in common, the CHATROOMS. (Oh no mortal sin used upper case).
Now dont get me wrong, if you are a couple, single female, or one of the chosen few single males the chatrooms are fun. If you are someone like me, a normal single guy looking to chat and flirt in the rooms its a nightmare. The only way I can describe it from my point of view is as a school playground.
You see at school in the playground you have different groups, that all hang around together and very rarely allow people in, they may be polite and say hello but then stand on the outside trying to join in you more then likely to get ignored.
You see you have the cool kids, they have their own stories, their own dynamics and some times their own slang. This group is very difficult to get into, generally you are treated badly, ridiculed and at the very least ignored. I remember in one room a guy was trying to join in a general discussion, he was met with being ignored. But bless him he tried and tried again, in the end the group ganged up and blocked him, for no reason. Is that fair..
This leads me onto the next group, the bullies, I have found these are generally part of the cool kids but mainly the single females or more surprisingly the single males. The single males are easy to reason why, they feel threatened by a new boy and rather than give people a chance they would prefer to 'whisper' and spoil any chance there may have been. The single females are a little different and to be honest I dont know why but remember not all single blokes are desperate, we are not all looking for a shag and we have a life, perhaps sometimes a chat and a flirt is all thats needed. The more cynical side of me thinks its because it seems all the single females, matters not if they are 20 or 50, are looking for a young buck, with an extra large cock and a body like David Beckham. This was proved to me when I was in a room and tried to speak with a single female, ignored, a young lad comes in and she pipes up saying that she had not seen him before then blah blah blah............really love look in the mirror and get realistic.
The next group are the 'wanna be's', and a very dangerous group they are. This group is mainly populated by blokes, all fighting to get excepted into the group. They will if given the chance will chop you off at the knees, tread all over you to get to the top of the pile.
The next group are the room pervs, have not seen to many of this group, but they are the ones that make no effort to join in the conversations, even if they get ignored, and just constantly post 'who wants a shag'.
The last group is the one that most single men belong to, the rest of us. We are the ones that are on the outside looking in, most of us are polite and really just want to chat and get to know people and most of us will keep trying but all us single blokes ask all you cool kids to do 'is to remember your first day at school'
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Chatrooms..............what a joke.
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Quote by trigg732
I have been in and around the swinging scene for a little while now and this certainly is not my first site I have been a member of, but there is one thing that each and every site have in common, the CHATROOMS. (Oh no mortal sin used upper case).
Now dont get me wrong, if you are a couple, single female, or one of the chosen few single males the chatrooms are fun. If you are someone like me, a normal single guy looking to chat and flirt in the rooms its a nightmare. The only way I can describe it from my point of view is as a school playground.
You see at school in the playground you have different groups, that all hang around together and very rarely allow people in, they may be polite and say hello but then stand on the outside trying to join in you more then likely to get ignored.
You see you have the cool kids, they have their own stories, their own dynamics and some times their own slang. This group is very difficult to get into, generally you are treated badly, ridiculed and at the very least ignored. I remember in one room a guy was trying to join in a general discussion, he was met with being ignored. But bless him he tried and tried again, in the end the group ganged up and blocked him, for no reason. Is that fair..
This leads me onto the next group, the bullies, I have found these are generally part of the cool kids but mainly the single females or more surprisingly the single males. The single males are easy to reason why, they feel threatened by a new boy and rather than give people a chance they would prefer to 'whisper' and spoil any chance there may have been. The single females are a little different and to be honest I dont know why but remember not all single blokes are desperate, we are not all looking for a shag and we have a life, perhaps sometimes a chat and a flirt is all thats needed. The more cynical side of me thinks its because it seems all the single females, matters not if they are 20 or 50, are looking for a young buck, with an extra large cock and a body like David Beckham. This was proved to me when I was in a room and tried to speak with a single female, ignored, a young lad comes in and she pipes up saying that she had not seen him before then blah blah blah............really love look in the mirror and get realistic.
The next group are the 'wanna be's', and a very dangerous group they are. This group is mainly populated by blokes, all fighting to get excepted into the group. They will if given the chance will chop you off at the knees, tread all over you to get to the top of the pile.
The next group are the room pervs, have not seen to many of this group, but they are the ones that make no effort to join in the conversations, even if they get ignored, and just constantly post 'who wants a shag'.
The last group is the one that most single men belong to, the rest of us. We are the ones that are on the outside looking in, most of us are polite and really just want to chat and get to know people and most of us will keep trying but all us single blokes ask all you cool kids to do 'is to remember your first day at school'
You're not a happy bunny are you? Your profile has at least had some effort put into it - thats all I will say on that matter........
In my experience, a lot of the chatrooms are frequented by regulars to a particular room, and as a result they tend to get to know people they chat to regularly. This can come across as being cliquey, and there are some rooms which are just that, and dont respond to 'infiltrators'. But in the most part, I think if you make the effort to chat, it works just fine.
I open my room most nights and I do wherever possible say hello to every person that comes into the room, and encourage them to join in with what can sometimes be a very busy chat. Some respond by saying they are shy, which always baffles me, as they are on a site which affords them anonymity. Some persistently whisper, which is a pain in the backside. Some just sit there like dumb clucks and say nothing at all.
Then there are the ones who like to chat, whether it be about the weather, holidays, work, or God forbid, even sex. Those are the ones who I find get along with people best and create a spark of interest from any suitable swingables. Oh! and humour works well too.
What I am trying to say in short, is if you find a room that you feel comfy with, stay there and join in with the chat, most people will respond to you, if they also feel comfortable with you and what you actually say in chat.
Anyway, good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for. x
Well Trig what can we say?
Your profile has everything in it, yes ya a chatter box but that's good is it not?
The chatrooms can be a acquired taste. Sometimes they can taste horrid. I understand your frustrations as I see that a lot but....there are a lot of friendly people out there. It is like meets really, some are great and some are shite, the chatrooms are no different.
Both of us can see nothing wrong in anything you have written, and your profile looks fine, so no trouble getting meets I would presume?
Anyways chin up fella and we are in the Kent room most evenings on server one and they most of the time are a friendly bunch...pop in and say hi some time.
Your profile has everything in it, yes ya a chatter box but that's good is it not?
The chatrooms can be a acquired taste. Sometimes they can taste horrid. I understand your frustrations as I see that a lot but....there are a lot of friendly people out there. It is like meets really, some are great and some are shite, the chatrooms are no different.
Both of us can see nothing wrong in anything you have written, and your profile looks fine, so no trouble getting meets I would presume?
Anyways chin up fella and we are in the Kent room most evenings on server one and they most of the time are a friendly bunch...pop in and say hi some time.
do..understand the thread..and the frustration felt. I am a regular in the mids room..and thankfully, been around long enough to be accepted. Its been said before..but i will use the example again....i think its better than the playground. Consider the chat rooms like a local pub. If you went in, ordered a pint and stoood there...no one will say much to you, and the locals will continue chatting to their mates. However if you go in regular, and strike up a normal, respectful conversation, you will find people tend to be chatty and respectfull back. Chat rooms I have found to be the same. Also...I found once i had been to my first social..and then everyone knew you were 100% genuine....you tend to find everyone alot more chatty. I say..keep going..keep chatting..and the best things come to those that make an effort. good luck.
This is just a whinge about cliques, right?
The only people that ever whinge about cliques are the ones not in it. Wherever groups of people come together, you will find cliques. Work, the pub, whatever. Not everyone wants to be one big happy family. Not everyone wants to be everyone's friend. they're quite happy with their own group.
You say "most men" are polite or whatever. Try being a single female. I think you'll find "most men" are ignorant twats who think you're only there for their entertainment. "Most men", in my experience, are rude, disrespectful, sulky kids that can't take no for an answer. I appreciate this makes it hard work for the decent guys but it's kinda tough shit, really. Preach to the idiots that cause the problem not the ones that react to it.
FWIW, I do try and talk to new people but more often than not, it doesn't really get beyond "hello how are you" before they either clam up or move onto someone better looking/easier lay/bigger tits and never acknowledge you again. What's the point? I'm here for me no one else, just me and what I want. If they can't put in the effort, why should I?
The only people that ever whinge about cliques are the ones not in it. Wherever groups of people come together, you will find cliques. Work, the pub, whatever. Not everyone wants to be one big happy family. Not everyone wants to be everyone's friend. they're quite happy with their own group.
You say "most men" are polite or whatever. Try being a single female. I think you'll find "most men" are ignorant twats who think you're only there for their entertainment. "Most men", in my experience, are rude, disrespectful, sulky kids that can't take no for an answer. I appreciate this makes it hard work for the decent guys but it's kinda tough shit, really. Preach to the idiots that cause the problem not the ones that react to it.
FWIW, I do try and talk to new people but more often than not, it doesn't really get beyond "hello how are you" before they either clam up or move onto someone better looking/easier lay/bigger tits and never acknowledge you again. What's the point? I'm here for me no one else, just me and what I want. If they can't put in the effort, why should I?
Sex God
Quote by Marya_Northeast
This is just a whinge about cliques, right?
The only people that ever whinge about cliques are the ones not in it. Wherever groups of people come together, you will find cliques. Work, the pub, whatever. Not everyone wants to be one big happy family. Not everyone wants to be everyone's friend. they're quite happy with their own group.
You say "most men" are polite or whatever. Try being a single female. I think you'll find "most men" are ignorant twats who think you're only there for their entertainment. "Most men", in my experience, are rude, disrespectful, sulky kids that can't take no for an answer. I appreciate this makes it hard work for the decent guys but it's kinda tough shit, really. Preach to the idiots that cause the problem not the ones that react to it.
FWIW, I do try and talk to new people but more often than not, it doesn't really get beyond "hello how are you" before they either clam up or move onto someone better looking/easier lay/bigger tits and never acknowledge you again. What's the point? I'm here for me no one else, just me and what I want. If they can't put in the effort, why should I?
:thumbup:
Funny this thread really, I €have to say its unfair and sexist to assume that it is only single men on the outside as a few single fems are in the same position.
I think its more to do with how you come across and how you take things in general, a chat room is full of banter that i guess a newbie could perceive as bullying.
I have been in chat rooms for over 10 years on and off now and yes it does have its school like groups that happens in all parts of life though work/home/pub/ETC.
The clique thing i had this convo the other day and yes it can seem rather cliquey but as has been said a lot of ppl talk on a daily basis and meet up regularly but there are very few ppl on here that i would say are ignorant or bullyish (there are a couple) however as fem i have to say what i have come across in my time on this particular site is pushy single men who cant take no or i will think about it for an answer, they get annoyed at you if you decide you don't want to meet them (even if profile says you don't do so alone) as if they are gods gift and you should be thankful for the offer.
Every room is difficult if you have the wrong attitude or are simply shy but I'm yet to find a room that doesn't say hello when you say hi to them.
I think its more to do with how you come across and how you take things in general, a chat room is full of banter that i guess a newbie could perceive as bullying.
I have been in chat rooms for over 10 years on and off now and yes it does have its school like groups that happens in all parts of life though work/home/pub/ETC.
The clique thing i had this convo the other day and yes it can seem rather cliquey but as has been said a lot of ppl talk on a daily basis and meet up regularly but there are very few ppl on here that i would say are ignorant or bullyish (there are a couple) however as fem i have to say what i have come across in my time on this particular site is pushy single men who cant take no or i will think about it for an answer, they get annoyed at you if you decide you don't want to meet them (even if profile says you don't do so alone) as if they are gods gift and you should be thankful for the offer.
Every room is difficult if you have the wrong attitude or are simply shy but I'm yet to find a room that doesn't say hello when you say hi to them.
Sex God
I kind of agree with everyone ....
I spend a lot of time in the chatrooms and will talk to anyone and everyone. I never intentionally ignore anyone. I have lots of friends who I regularly talk to and also lots who I have met socially (and some I have met naughtily) :twisted:
The chatrooms can be a bit cliquey, I get that, but everyday, I speak to many people that I have never spoken to before. Some just say hi, how are you? and then hide, some make conversation. It is not the responsibility of all of the people chatting to strike up a conversation with the ones who never speak, but I think you find that most people are happy to chat if someone tries to strike up a conversation with them.
On occasions, I go into a room, including the regular room that I go into and say hi and get completely ignored!! This isn't because no one wants to talk to me, its because people are deep in conversation or there is a performance on cam which people are engrossed in and so, they don't notice (at least I hope that's why ) In this case I go and find another room where people aren't so busy and more prepared to chat!!
So, sit on the sidelines and you will be ignored, make an effort to talk and people will talk back!!
I spend a lot of time in the chatrooms and will talk to anyone and everyone. I never intentionally ignore anyone. I have lots of friends who I regularly talk to and also lots who I have met socially (and some I have met naughtily) :twisted:
The chatrooms can be a bit cliquey, I get that, but everyday, I speak to many people that I have never spoken to before. Some just say hi, how are you? and then hide, some make conversation. It is not the responsibility of all of the people chatting to strike up a conversation with the ones who never speak, but I think you find that most people are happy to chat if someone tries to strike up a conversation with them.
On occasions, I go into a room, including the regular room that I go into and say hi and get completely ignored!! This isn't because no one wants to talk to me, its because people are deep in conversation or there is a performance on cam which people are engrossed in and so, they don't notice (at least I hope that's why
) In this case I go and find another room where people aren't so busy and more prepared to chat!!So, sit on the sidelines and you will be ignored, make an effort to talk and people will talk back!!
Sex God
Quote by Funlovers2009
I kind of agree with everyone ....
I spend a lot of time in the chatrooms and will talk to anyone and everyone. I never intentionally ignore anyone. I have lots of friends who I regularly talk to and also lots who I have met socially (and some I have met naughtily) :twisted:
The chatrooms can be a bit cliquey, I get that, but everyday, I speak to many people that I have never spoken to before. Some just say hi, how are you? and then hide, some make conversation. It is not the responsibility of all of the people chatting to strike up a conversation with the ones who never speak, but I think you find that most people are happy to chat if someone tries to strike up a conversation with them.
On occasions, I go into a room, including the regular room that I go into and say hi and get completely ignored!! This isn't because no one wants to talk to me, its because people are deep in conversation or there is a performance on cam which people are engrossed in and so, they don't notice (at least I hope that's why
So, sit on the sidelines and you will be ignored, make an effort to talk and people will talk back!!
This! :thumbup:
It's always been said, you get out what you put in! If you're going to sit on the side and watch then people will assume that you're happy watching. Join in the chatter... I think maybe it does look a bit cliquey when you're on the outside looking in but those people had to get into those cliques somehow... it wasn't by being a wallflower! :lol:
Sex God
I too am unsure what the point of your post was, although it would appear to be to get a reaction? Well so be it.
You appear to believe that your sat in the schoolyard group of picked on people. Whinging and moaning that people don't speak to you or give you a chance. Maybe that's the case, but it's obviously for a reason. It's already been pointed out that your profile would prevent some people from wanting to talk to you, so start of by looking closer to home first.
I totally agree that some of the rooms are cliquey, We have also suffered that. Our geographic room is the scots room but we never go in there now. We used to, and had a good time but once they found out we were English not Scottish we faced a reaction that can only be bracketed as racism. So what, who cares? There are plenty of other rooms and if you can't find one to your liking then open up your own.
Have you considered the fact that maybe people don't always see the messages. Sometimes it is hard to keep up with things in a busy room, especially when unwanted whispers are flying at you filling up your screen. Is it the other persons fault if their screen is filling up much faster than yours and the don't see your message at all? Come to think of it unsolicited whispers tend to come from single males in my experience; Ironic eh?
Maybe the other person simply isn't interested in you. I get sick of approaches from men claiming to be a young fifty something. My profile is quite clear what is wanted, anything else is merely a distraction. It is rude to ignore people and I can't and won't make excuses for those that do it, however if you aren't what the person wants and they are busy speaking to someone they are interested in then I suppose it's understandable.
Simply put, stop being a self styled victim and realise that there may be more to other people's online behaviour than a desire to want to ruin your evening.
Is that enough reaction for you?
You appear to believe that your sat in the schoolyard group of picked on people. Whinging and moaning that people don't speak to you or give you a chance. Maybe that's the case, but it's obviously for a reason. It's already been pointed out that your profile would prevent some people from wanting to talk to you, so start of by looking closer to home first.
I totally agree that some of the rooms are cliquey, We have also suffered that. Our geographic room is the scots room but we never go in there now. We used to, and had a good time but once they found out we were English not Scottish we faced a reaction that can only be bracketed as racism. So what, who cares? There are plenty of other rooms and if you can't find one to your liking then open up your own.
Have you considered the fact that maybe people don't always see the messages. Sometimes it is hard to keep up with things in a busy room, especially when unwanted whispers are flying at you filling up your screen. Is it the other persons fault if their screen is filling up much faster than yours and the don't see your message at all? Come to think of it unsolicited whispers tend to come from single males in my experience; Ironic eh?
Maybe the other person simply isn't interested in you. I get sick of approaches from men claiming to be a young fifty something. My profile is quite clear what is wanted, anything else is merely a distraction. It is rude to ignore people and I can't and won't make excuses for those that do it, however if you aren't what the person wants and they are busy speaking to someone they are interested in then I suppose it's understandable.
Simply put, stop being a self styled victim and realise that there may be more to other people's online behaviour than a desire to want to ruin your evening.
Is that enough reaction for you?
Sex God
sounds like a fair assessment
but saying that its easy to get bombarded when liza is on cam
and it becomes almost impossible to answer everyone a little frustrating when 30+ guys are all trying to strike a conversation
and some get very rude if not answered which at time's is just imposable
the result is we don't venture into chat often and rarely go on cam
but saying that its easy to get bombarded when liza is on cam
and it becomes almost impossible to answer everyone a little frustrating when 30+ guys are all trying to strike a conversation and some get very rude if not answered which at time's is just imposable
the result is we don't venture into chat often and rarely go on cam
