Getting you all chatting ...

Betty is not a boiler and works perfectly all the time.....

there are far to many people willing to jump on the silliest mistake, and even be down right rude, and it does put people off. How do you know rudeness from banter, don't know.

We just like a chat and we view most things said, as banter :)

Quote by johnnclaudia

Betty is not a boiler and works perfectly all the time.....

there are far to many people willing to jump on the silliest mistake, and even be down right rude, and it does put people off. How do you know rudeness from banter, don't know.

Id say Banter was more a friend thing or some one who knows you and what you can take as Banter.

My humour is not to everyone's taste but then again if everyone was the same, it would be a boring world.

its that the crazy thing though, build up enough rapport ... and the banter flows freely

my boiler is still fully operational

Quote by swingyandalphabetty

my boiler is still fully operational

I hope it's been serviced recently. 😉

It could probably do with a good service !!!!

Quote by Woohoo

Personally I think it may be some time before we get back to the SH of old as the dynamics of the site has changed drastically over the last ten years, what with the adding of media posting and the global rooms.

People now use this site for very different reasons and I would say 99% of the reasons are not swinging related.

Hopefully I am wrong but as I have been a member since nearly day one and a moderator not long after that, is the way I see it.

We used to have regional rooms and they were that full, that you had to wait until someone left, then you could get in as the numbers were limited to 100 per room.

People have tried to open the same type of rooms but they never last long, for whatever reason who knows?

Site admin are tweaking the site on what seems like a daily basis, some "tweaks" are great and some not so, but if they didn't move with the times we would still be using windows D.O.S or even the old contact mags.

Here's hoping that SH will once again be that busy that I will have to Queue to get into a room.

Woo

I think the majority of people who use this site now access it via mobile devices and in our experience that doesn't facilitate easy access and input to the chat rooms. I also believe that chatting, as we used to know and enjoy it, has largely been replaced by short 'text speak' and swipe gestures for many people. It's a sad sign of the times but it's the way everything is going these days. Anything which involves more than minimal effort is just too much trouble for a growing number of people.

it is a shame ... that the heaven for swingers ... doesnt seem to be for swingers, but we shall hope swinging will return

It does feel like we are breaking through the ice, slowly keep at it all :)

Quote by TheOne_21

@tedditch has hit the nail on the head. I’ve been a member for a similar amount of time. The amount of times I’ve said “Hi” or “how is everyone” with no response is somewhat unbelievable given it’s a chat room. Added to that most rooms seems to be purely photo uploads fishing for compliments rather than interaction. To be fair I again agree @tedditch, I don’t particular have a high expectation as a single male, and I most certainly do not take it personally. So in summary if I pop into the chat room I now tend not to bother and just to watch/read what’s going on out of interest. Hopefully that at least gives another perspective of why, I at least, don’t bother chatting in the chat room. Good question BTW 👍

When i was on here few years ago the chat rooms used to be for chat now with all these pictures appearing it's just not the same the chat was where you picked up bits of information about what goes on where etc now it's hard to keep up any interest in a room

The advantage of the regional rooms, is no pics, hence the chat can flow. The picture rooms can add fun, but aren't conducive to in depth conversation.

very interesting input 2for ......

We do feel something needs to happen, as SH to us feels like a sleeping giant, it needs an injection of something, to wake it up, before it drops into a coma ..... or worse

Personally I feel that the introduction of the ability to add media to chat has actually "killed" chat and has maybe led people to join for this reason and not to actually have anything to do with swinging.

The joining up of all the global sites into one big chat should not be an issue if the members who were chatting actually wanted to meet, just open a regional room in the regional chat and chat in there.

You all do know that there is a part of chat that is for the uk only?

This site is a lot like life I feel , you get out of it what you put in to it.

Life at this present time is hard everywhere on the planet what with the cost of living and even a turn on of a lamp in your home costing a million quid.

But People are resilient and find ways to manage, ok it is hard but lots do get by and adapt to whatever life throws at them.

Funnily enough people do still meet on here, and there are still socials, albeit not as many as there once was, again mostly due to the fact that people are struggling to survive in their daily lives and don't have enough spare cash to travel all over the country like we once did.

I for one have been to socials as far away as Portsmouth and as we say In Glasgow "that's a fair jaunt" but I did it cos it was within my means and budget at the time.

Will the site get better?

Who knows!

But Admin do care about the site and are continually looking for ways to make it better, they welcome any input that may help them do so and if its viable ,then they will implement it as soon as they can.

regards

woo

Ok.

Here's my twopence worth.

A couples only room has been suggested more times than I can remember but in my honest opinion would never work.

Why?

Well, every couple would need to be a verified couple and also they would need to verify regularly ,at least once a month id say, there are verified couples on this site who verified years ago, are they still a couple?

Who knows?

And how many verified couples at this moment in time are actually within meeting distance?

Or else you would get loads of new members joining as "couples" cos of the couples only room.

It's not only new couples who aren't really couples but in fact older members who maybe started out as couples and yep even genuine couples but who are now single for various reasons, ie they split up or one has passed away.

Just look for the names in chat that are usually couple names for eg tedandcarol,who is now a single male.(tedandcarol is a made up name) and you will see loads of them

Also the majority of couples are looking, not for other couples, but the elusive unicorn, that is the single bi female.

Check out the text on a lot of profiles and you will often see "hi this is carol,me and ted are looking for a female to join us ,oh and ted can play by himself" therefore it can't be a couple's only room but would need to be in fact a couples and single female room.

But is tedandcarol actually a real couple or in fact a single male pretending to be a couple who when some one contacts, them states, "oh carol cant make it as she 's washing her hair at her mums or been kidnapped by aliens can i just come myself,etc, we have all heard all the excuses.

Then we also would need a verified single female room, and a room for every sexual orientation that is out there to cover the LBGT community and they all would all need to verify regularly.

So. instead of bringing the site together, we have now split it up into different rooms and genders and forcing people to verify them selves on a regular basis.

We have a facility to open a "private room" and invite to that room people, who we actually know to be genuine but are they still genuine, as they could have split up the day before and its's just one pretending to be still a couple.

I would love every person that joins, verify who they are and wither it be a single or a couple but then expecting them to do it on a monthly basis ,would in my opinion drive the genuine people away.

We only have to look at the list of members when we join any room to see how many are actually verified, it's a very small number.

People's arguments against verification are mainly based on "oh we have a job where we don't want to be recognised etc, so when they go to meet someone else, do they wear a disguise or insist on it being in the dark?

I'l tell you a true story.

Years ago a young couple joined the site and didn't want anyone to know what they looked like so they made arrangements to meet an older couple without camming or even chatting on the phone.

They booked a hotel room miles away from their location and waited on the knock on the door.

Knock knock , young female opened the door and there stood her Mother and nope not her father but the next door neighbour...

The morale of the story is, always know who you are meeting..

So on closing, a room just for a particular profile type would be a disaster for the site.

One of the main rules of this site, is there is no sexual discrimination of any type.

woo

In my opinion, frequent verification would need to be fundamental in order for a dedicated couples room.

As I have previously explained,that profiles are subject to change and unless people did verify, then most of the couples would probably just be fake profiles set up in order to enter the couples only room.

We treat EVERY profile the same no matter what they are

If for instance a bi guy wanted an ONLY bi guy room,he would be told the same reasons why it might not work.

Nearly every mod on here have a couple's profile to, and some are even single so therfore they have the same concerns as other members.

That's one of the reasons why admin pick members to be mods as they use the site themselves.

Genuine adventurous couples, if they opened a room and kicked anyone who they deemed weren't what they wanted, would be dealt with just the same as any other member who did the same,no matter if they are single or a couple.

I've only stated that if there was a couple's only room then it might end up in people creating fake profiles in order to enter said room,which again would cause problems.

If there was a dedicated room for gorgeous wee old Scottish guys then I'm sure that if people were that interested in gaining access,they would create fake profiles to match.

Quote by 2for2more

I'm confused.

Is a group dedicated to only two profile types not discriminatory?

Is limiting only the number of single men attending a Coventry social not discriminatory?

You forgot to add profiles that are only seeking

Male/female couple

Or clubs

But your main point  was a couple's only  room.
I'm still curious as to how creating multiple gender or status locked rooms,will make people chat?
And how would you verify for instance the milf,bi curious or even sexy wives room?

I only expressed my opinion also,as to why I think a couples only room would not work but you already have that facility for people to chat openly without interruptions from those who think the site is for nothing but sex chat, as in a locked private room.

Would you as a couple go to a social if you were the only couple and there were 100 single guys?

But Any questions re discrimination I advise you ask admin as its their guidelines

https://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/support/new-ticket

Just going to chip in, the original post was merely about how do we get more people actively chatting. We think all of the inputs are great, but let's not argue about an individual opinion please. It could spoil the thread and we wouldn't want that. When so many people have put good input in.

👍

no distress caused here we were just worried it could turn in to an argument. We think all the points raised are valid, on all sides :)

i don`t like it much when someone joins the room you have never chatted before and says Hi and once you say hi back they then jump straight into a whisper saying mr or mrs ? rather than hen just get into the chat from then on in the main room, i tend then to ignore the whisper and just do not reply, they think you just want to or should want to just chat to them ..................................nnaahhh 🙄

totally with you there vaux, we feel that whispers stop us both being involved in the conversation, which doesnt feel very inclusive at all.

If we look at the stats, the majority, I'm saddened to say nowadays, are "single males.

I am all for bringing the site back to what it once, was but unfortunately in the present format whereby we have media sharing and global rooms, I don't ever see that happening, no matter if we had dedicated multiple rooms for every category.

If you had to see just how many "fake" profiles that admin and the mods have to deal with on a daily basis then maybe you would understand more, and not just fake couples but fake singles to.

Over the years that I have been here its getting rapidly worse.

Why?

Who Knows?

Years ago it was people that had a genuine interest in swinging that joined this site and others, but now its every Tom Dick, Harry and June.

And most of them, in my opinion think "ah a sex site for female and couples willing to shag me at the drop of a hat"

Then after about 2minutes they moan and then it's "ffs Ive been here 2 minutes and no one wants to shag my brains out, this shite is shite"

It's a basic instinct among certain human beings I think, that if there's something that someone wants or wants to be involved with, then they will use any means at their disposal to achieve that.

Its kinda pants that the majority feck aff the decent minority amongst the genuine swingers.

Admin are continually "tweaking" the site in order for it to get back to being what it once was, some tweaks are "wtf" but they are trying, it's their livelihood so they need to try and keep on top of things in order for the site to survive.

Is it driving the "true" swingers away? maybe"

But there will always be certain types of individuals who will think "wow" this site is banging.

Everything I have wrote is just my personal opinion of being on here every day for a long time and seeing how SH has changed over the years.

So we think so far we've all come to the realisation that the site has been in decline, and the reality is, that only we can make it more lively. The key contributers to this thread do put the effort in. To make it a sociable place. Which is great. How do we convince others to join in ?

Maybe a free month if they talk in chat rooms as a way of promoting it 🤷‍♂️

Quote by Lounmac

Maybe a free month if they talk in chat rooms as a way of promoting it 🤷‍♂️

Good idea but unfortunately I don't think there would be any way to implement it, to see who was actually chatting.

what about thumb screws and whips or maybe electric shocks to make them chat lol .......maybe not that would cost way too much on the electric................but i do agree x

Quote by Woohoo

Good idea but unfortunately I don't think there would be any way to implement it, to see who was actually chatting.

I’m sure something in the code can be written same as the names here ie. Warming the bed. The end goal would be to encourage fresh blood and to encourage talking