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Getting you all chatting ...

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Any thoughts on how to get people participating in chat ... we use pool a lot, and often find circa 50 people in there, and only us and 1 or 2 others will be openly chatting. We know there is a pm/whisper culture on here .... but a few more active open chatters would be really nice smile

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guessing that fell on deaf ears then ... no ideas at all ?

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isnt it just .... which is a terrible shame, as this could be such an awesome site for swingers ....

Forum Virgin
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Very interesting question. I've only been on here six months and seen people say hi and nothing in response. Happens to me all the time. I have found a few people I can chat with on here but we tend to go private straight away. Why? In one case we had a convo in the main room and someone butted in and classed our chat as boring.

I think that along with in other cases trying to keep a convo going while pics are being uploaded makes it difficult to follow. It's the same on other sites. Someone made a point about single fellas on cam or in the room. My view is set up a room purely for couples by invite only. No singles, no cam.

I'd love to get involved in more chat but as a 'single' my expectations are low. I think I'll be moving to clubs like VA for my chat and fun in future. Very difficult for SH to change the interaction on here in my view.

Swinging Heaven Logo 1 like

An interesting, and detailed response, thank you. We see chat as the precursor to a club night out , or event. But are aware that it doesn't seem to be that way on here. Hence we value your input. We would add, that VA is a great night out.

Forum Virgin
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@tedditch has hit the nail on the head. I’ve been a member for a similar amount of time. The amount of times I’ve said “Hi” or “how is everyone” with no response is somewhat unbelievable given it’s a chat room. Added to that most rooms seems to be purely photo uploads fishing for compliments rather than interaction. To be fair I again agree @tedditch, I don’t particular have a high expectation as a single male, and I most certainly do not take it personally. So in summary if I pop into the chat room I now tend not to bother and just to watch/read what’s going on out of interest. Hopefully that at least gives another perspective of why, I at least, don’t bother chatting in the chat room. Good question BTW 👍

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Thank you for your input @theone_21, we have avoided the picture posting rooms. as we prefer to chat, than to look at various pictures, but we understand why some may enjoy them. Slightly concerned that you have never had a response to a "hi" or a "how are you", we can only imagine you havent been in there when we have.

Definitely another great response though, without peoples experiences like this, the rest of the chatters cannot make chat a better place to be smile Thank you :)

Swinging Heaven Logo 5 likes

Just saying a random "Hi" to no one in particular will very rarely get a response, unless you have either been a member for a lot of years or you have just recently attended one of the socials.

People use this site in a variety of ways, some use it to chat to old friends that they have made through the years of being on here, some just use it to look at the many pictures that are posted and that are found in the galleries.

Some people even join expecting to have single females and couples jumping all over them, dying to meet them within 10 seconds of joining.

The amount of times I have heard, " I have been a member for ten minutes and so far this site is shite cos no females or couples want to shag me."

Like any "Club" it takes time to build up a rapport with other members, it also takes luck to.

It's like life, you get out of it what you put into it.

My advice is.

1/ Don't take this site seriously, but instead take it with a pinch of salt and with tongue firmly in cheek.

2/ Have a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at oneself.

3/ Be polite at all times even when rejected a few billion times.

4/ Don't expect people to instantly contact you because" you" are what you think they are looking for.

In ending.

Have a laugh and chat away to whoever will listen, then maybe just maybe you will get lucky.

I did.

I met my wife on here, over 7 years ago so it might just work for some one else, oh and one more thing.

Age is not an issue ,well it wasn't for me as I was 59 when I met my Mrs..

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Quote by swingyandalphabetty

great advice Woohoo smile

But will people take it ?🙄

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Quote by Woohoo

But will people take it ?🙄

We can but hope .... as always i think everyones input to this thread is important, we would dearly love this site to rise again, and be a heaven for swingers all over smile

Forum Virgin
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Completely agree on all points. You can't please all the people all of the time.

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Well said Woohoo. Tiny and I met on here and have been together over 16 years.

I love chatting and join the bigger rooms, however even when i join the chat and comment, as we aren't on here weekly, let alone nightly and don't get to many socials, our involvement peters out quickly.

I prefer rooms where you can't post pictures, so a conversation can get going, but admit I join the picture rooms and post pics, so I can get a response and start a genuine conversation. I don't fish for compliments, I know my boobs are amazing, so aren't looking to be told so, just use the pics to start a conversation.

Unfortunately for every person who I chat with in the room, I get five private messages and rarely does anyone ask to whisper. Then the private chats take over and I stop chatting in the rooms.

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@tinytimmy, thank you for your input, did you know you can turn PM's off ? we have ours set to notify us, but the great thing is, when we are on swingys laptop, we cannot respond in the pm, as we dont get the text box, so we stay in the main room smile

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Well messages being down for a while ... was defo a boost for the chat rooms ... maybe that could happen more often lol

Sexpert
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I personally just jump in and see what’s going on. I’m happy to have a chat with anyone. I’ve had it when I’ve been told to open another room as I’m clogging up chat. What I took from that is it wasn’t a subject they were interested in. But don’t let people be rude just try to engage with them. Here for a chat 💬 if you want to 😉

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We always enjoy a chat with you 2, louandmac smile as you know swingy chats to anyone and everyone he can, just doesnt understand the ones who sit in silence, tried the opening a new room thing, and that went well :)

Sexpert
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Thank you swingy’s we love to chat too you guys too. I suppose that’s the quickest way to make a connection rather than sit in the shadows.

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Oh we agree, it helps build a rapport, and identify those that like to get out and about smile

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i dont think many noticed this post ..... great to see some responses though, thank you smile

Sexpert
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I think forums are as quiet as chat. Hopefully they start to pick up soon enough

Swinging Heaven Logo 1 like

Personally I think it may be some time before we get back to the SH of old as the dynamics of the site has changed drastically over the last ten years, what with the adding of media posting and the global rooms.

People now use this site for very different reasons and I would say 99% of the reasons are not swinging related.

Hopefully I am wrong but as I have been a member since nearly day one and a moderator not long after that, is the way I see it.

We used to have regional rooms and they were that full, that you had to wait until someone left, then you could get in as the numbers were limited to 100 per room.

People have tried to open the same type of rooms but they never last long, for whatever reason who knows?

Site admin are tweaking the site on what seems like a daily basis, some "tweaks" are great and some not so, but if they didn't move with the times we would still be using windows D.O.S or even the old contact mags.

Here's hoping that SH will once again be that busy that I will have to Queue to get into a room.

Woo

Sexpert
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I think the biggest thing they could change is make it app based so u get notifications when u get a message. Stop doing what everyone else is doing and do your own thing.

Warming the Bed
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Biggest bug bear is those that go into room and say “it’s quiet”. Well what do you expect if that’s all you can as to the conversation!

At least find an opening gambit like a question or something topical. Hell, even make something up like ‘my fridge doesn’t work’. It’s not that difficult to get it going, but it’s not gonna start itself. If you want to logon and talk to people then sometimes you have to be the instigator to do some/all of the work.

Warming the Bed
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Quote by Salooner

Hell, even make something up like ‘my fridge doesn’t work’.

.... and before anyone else asks, yes, my fridge is fine!!

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Quote by Salooner

.... and before anyone else asks, yes, my fridge is fine!!

How is your cooker?

🙄

Warming the Bed
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Quote by Woohoo
How is your cooker?

🙄

🤦‍♂️