Getting you all chatting ...

Quote by Lounmac

I’m sure something in the code can be written same as the names here ie. Warming the bed. The end goal would be to encourage fresh blood and to encourage talking

your right of course you could see how long people are logged in for and how much of that time they actually typing and maybe have a room for people who are constantly chatting more than say for example 50% of the time. It would have to take in to account those who talk in PM a lot as opposed to talking in rooms... just another thought

we think that has potential 2for

Great topic btw - I'm happy to chat a bit in a main room than suggest PM as I loose track of the responses if multiple people in the room are having conversations...and I'm with @salooner - those guys who drop in and say 'its quiet' then disappear after 2 mins....🙄

i think we have it with in our power to be active in chat, and hopefully that will encourage others to join in

This site used to be that busy in the chat rooms that, you sometimes had to que to enter your favourite room.

The only things that have changed re the chat rooms are Global rooms and the ability to add media..

Admin do take all suggestions for ways to improve this site very seriously and implement those that they think will actually work, as they have done in the past.

Maybe admin saw it was dying a death before the above was implemented and added those functions to try and breath new life into it!

Members had a chance at the start of the new function's to state their concerns but unfortunately not enough took the time to do so.

People leave for all sorts of reasons but I could count on one hand how many have actually took the time to tell me the reasons why they are leaving, even those who we classed as friends , most just feck off in silence, maybe to return at a different time under a different name, or maybe never.

BUT

It's not only this site that is not what it was, the amount of new members or even old returning members we get on a daily basis saying that we have come back/joined cos "Rabs" is shite., and obviously Rab's get the same moans about us.

Personally I think the swinging scene has changed over the years what with the explosion of the internet and their dating apps and all the different types of clubs who cater for every gender.

And on a completely different tangent , personally I think dogging has lost its appeal, mainly due to the laws governing public decency I'd say, whereby if caught dogging then you could potentiality get added to the sex offenders register .

The amount of people I have heard say "ah it's ok as the boys in Blue turn a blind eye and sometimes join in"
But all it takes is for them not to, and your life is ruined forever.

It's a lottery on your reputation Id say.

Some really interesting input there Woohoo, thank you

When you reference a different site, it is somewhere we know well, and all we can say is that while it is much busier over there, we certainly feel a lot safer on here, and the general standard of people that we do meet from here, is much much higher than over there, of course there are always exceptions.

if nothing else we are glad that this thread has had the input it has had, and it has helped to cement for us, that there are swingers in our midst :)

Hi room,

I'm K, male part of our profile. I haven't read every comment but an overall a good read, particularly swingy & woohoo. Two quick things, 1. Totally agree, time back you had to wait to get into a room. 2. Ard you still following this thread?

we think chatrooms are a good place for meets to start, the right level of effort in there, where you set up a good rapport .... and the world is your oyster

Quote by swingyandalphabetty

we think chatrooms are a good place for meets to start, the right level of effort in there, where you set up a good rapport .... and the world is your oyster

Indeed. It's the only way for us but we prefer to do it in private chat.

It must be the exhibitionist in us, that likes the chat out in the open ?? plus with the ability to split the profile for chat, which we think is an awesome feature, if someone pm's one of us, its not easy for the other to see, so we end up having to recant the conversation, unless we set up a private room ... at which point, it would be easier, but we would fear missing out on some of the friends we have made in the relativley short time we have been on here

I for one would be much more inclined to chat if there was a place to chat without constant uninvited pestering from clueless idiots who just want something to wank over.

Quote by ewar_woo_war

I for one would be much more inclined to chat if there was a place to chat without constant uninvited pestering from clueless idiots who just want something to wank over.

As you are well aware,that facility does exist, just open a private pass word protected room and invite who you wish.

I have talked about it before, but I have social anxiety (my issue, not expecting others to change for me!) so I generally avoid chatrooms anyway. That said, I do want to participate in every part of the site so I tried a few times.

The onslaught of private message requests that hit me the moment I entered the room was scary as all hell! I equated it to walking into a busy pub and all the men immediately put down their drinks and all started to walk towards me. I turned and ran every time! After I learnt of the ability to set it that people couldn't send private messages, I went back in to explore the settings. And in the time it took me to arrive in the room and find and click the settings button I had another 3 private messages so I did the settings and ran! I went back in once more after that, but I can't start conversations so I said hi and waited for people to chat. There were several single men and a few couples in the room, I was the only single fem and I sat there for around 15 minutes but there wasn't a single message. So I left again.

For me personally, it really isn't worth the stress it causes to enter chat if there isn't a pay off of some conversation so I am not really in a hurry to go back there any time soon.

The thing I wonder about though is the number of chatters showing on the menu bar. It says there are consistently around 1500 people - they can't all be sitting around in silence, surely?

It does surprise me that even although,as you stated there were a few couple profiles in the room

.NONE spoke to you!

Well knock me down with a feather and call me fanny 🙄.

🪶😵 Oiiii Woo, change yer name to Fanny!

Quote by HothouseSub

I have talked about it before, but I have social anxiety (my issue, not expecting others to change for me!) so I generally avoid chatrooms anyway. That said, I do want to participate in every part of the site so I tried a few times.

The onslaught of private message requests that hit me the moment I entered the room was scary as all hell! I equated it to walking into a busy pub and all the men immediately put down their drinks and all started to walk towards me. I turned and ran every time! After I learnt of the ability to set it that people couldn't send private messages, I went back in to explore the settings. And in the time it took me to arrive in the room and find and click the settings button I had another 3 private messages so I did the settings and ran! I went back in once more after that, but I can't start conversations so I said hi and waited for people to chat. There were several single men and a few couples in the room, I was the only single fem and I sat there for around 15 minutes but there wasn't a single message. So I left again.

For me personally, it really isn't worth the stress it causes to enter chat if there isn't a pay off of some conversation so I am not really in a hurry to go back there any time soon.

The thing I wonder about though is the number of chatters showing on the menu bar. It says there are consistently around 1500 people - they can't all be sitting around in silence, surely?

Generally speaking there will be a mix of people in the chat rooms at any one time and its often not until you get a handful of people talking that the conversation really flows.

I'm glad you've found the options to turn off PM's if they make you uncomfortable (and I can certainly see how getting bombarded like that can be off-putting) I'd also comment that it's always been considered correct etiquette to ask before PMing someone you don't already know well and quite often failing to do so tells you all you might need to know about someone new!

I hope you find time to give it another go and that its a bit more fruitful for you. If you're concerned about starting a convo with anyone and you see a mod in the room, say hi, we're a chatty bunch generally speaking

Quote by 2for2more

I wouldn't advise taking any of the counters on here too seriously. according to the landing page for this site there are 1.9 million members. This suggests that in a country with 60 million inhabitants, if you live in a community or work at a place with more than 60 other people. The chances are that at least 1 of them is a swinger too.

For years and years, every time our view counter hit 7999 it would re-set itself back to 6000.

Don't forget single males are the biggest subscribers to the site by a very large margin, so limiting their movements would mean spoiling it for the majority of the paying membership. Even though the majority is only here in the hope of getting involved with those that have now become a small and ever-decreasing minority.

I'd point out that the counter HothouseSub was talking about is the number of accounts logged in at any one time, which can take in a number of scenarios (people with multiple accounts 1500 individual accounts logged in or a combination of both) from what I've seen the number logged in at any one time seems pretty reflective of the number of people you see about the place in various parts of the site.

I'd also point out from your comment that there are at least some couples that have more than one account and even single profiles too.

Don't forget that all paying members contribute to keeping the lights on and the servers working, and if, as you suggest a "small minority" are the active ones (a theory I don't subscribe to by the way, just becuase they dont shout about it, doesn't mean they aren't active) the site wouldn't bring in enough to keep the place going, so whichever way you look at it, this community needs everyone.

That's why we try to make as many people welcome as possible, I've already made some suggestions to help anyone nervous about going into the chat rooms- remember you don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to and you certainly don't have to accept PM's if you'd prefer not to either.

Quote by HothouseSub

I have talked about it before, but I have social anxiety (my issue, not expecting others to change for me!) so I generally avoid chatrooms anyway. That said, I do want to participate in every part of the site so I tried a few times.

The onslaught of private message requests that hit me the moment I entered the room was scary as all hell! I equated it to walking into a busy pub and all the men immediately put down their drinks and all started to walk towards me. I turned and ran every time! After I learnt of the ability to set it that people couldn't send private messages, I went back in to explore the settings. And in the time it took me to arrive in the room and find and click the settings button I had another 3 private messages so I did the settings and ran! I went back in once more after that, but I can't start conversations so I said hi and waited for people to chat. There were several single men and a few couples in the room, I was the only single fem and I sat there for around 15 minutes but there wasn't a single message. So I left again.

For me personally, it really isn't worth the stress it causes to enter chat if there isn't a pay off of some conversation so I am not really in a hurry to go back there any time soon.

The thing I wonder about though is the number of chatters showing on the menu bar. It says there are consistently around 1500 people - they can't all be sitting around in silence, surely?

Hi 👋 Im really sorry to hear your experience of the chat rooms hasn't been positive so far. The dynamic can vary a bit depending who is on, but I hope you feel able to give it another go...I'll certainly keep an eye out for you in future and please feel free to send me a pm if that would help. I find that the evenings at the weekend (especially a bit later on) have been a lot of fun.. with generally a good mix of different types of friendly people and a really good giggle at times.

Mora

Quote by HothouseSub

I have talked about it before, but I have social anxiety (my issue, not expecting others to change for me!) so I generally avoid chatrooms anyway. That said, I do want to participate in every part of the site so I tried a few times.

The onslaught of private message requests that hit me the moment I entered the room was scary as all hell! I equated it to walking into a busy pub and all the men immediately put down their drinks and all started to walk towards me. I turned and ran every time! After I learnt of the ability to set it that people couldn't send private messages, I went back in to explore the settings. And in the time it took me to arrive in the room and find and click the settings button I had another 3 private messages so I did the settings and ran! I went back in once more after that, but I can't start conversations so I said hi and waited for people to chat. There were several single men and a few couples in the room, I was the only single fem and I sat there for around 15 minutes but there wasn't a single message. So I left again.

For me personally, it really isn't worth the stress it causes to enter chat if there isn't a pay off of some conversation so I am not really in a hurry to go back there any time soon.

The thing I wonder about though is the number of chatters showing on the menu bar. It says there are consistently around 1500 people - they can't all be sitting around in silence, surely?

I for one think its great you have commented on the thread, and my previous posts probably make it clear that i like a natter ! i would invite you to tag me, if i have ever missed saying hello, which i know many do, and I find very strange

Quote by Woohoo

It does surprise me that even although,as you stated there were a few couple profiles in the room

.NONE spoke to you!

Well knock me down with a feather and call me fanny 🙄.

I didn't take it personally - they weren't talking to each other either!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I will dip in again at some point.

Oddly, the reason I am nervous of using chatrooms in general is because of my early experiences of them being so chaotic that I couldn't keep track of conversations and was always several messages behind by the time I thought about what I wanted to say and typed it out. I guess I could view it as immersion therapy to sit in a silent room for a while!

Quote by 2for2more

Thanks for pointing that out Lapua, and thanks for taking such a deep personal interest in making sure everything I post is correct.

My comment was simply that generally the counters on here may not be as accurate as we'd like them to be. Pointing out that our view counter reset itself time and time again for years on end, and that the site landing page suggests almost 1 in 60 citizens of the UK are members, whilst being fully aware that as you quite rightly point out, some people have more than one account. People having more than one account is nothing new. We have both had individual accounts ourselves at times.

Whilst writing this post I notice the chatroom counter in the menu bar above (which IS exactly what HothouseSub clearly mentions in her post) indicating that there are around 1325 people in chat. This does not claim to be the number of "accounts logged in at any one time", but represents the number of accounts using the chatrooms at any one time. Out of interest I just flipped into the chatrooms and took a screenshot of the chatrooms list including both global and regional. The number of chatters on that list at that moment in time added up to around 840. Upon returning less than a minute later the menu bar counter was showing 1388

I'd also like to point out, I made no mention of the minority being the only active swingers on the site, I simply stated that as a couple we're in a small and apparently ever decreasing minority. I'm fully aware that given the right circumstances a large number of the single men here would relish the idea of having sex with someone else's wife, or indeed start a relationship with some of the single females and (possibly less so) some of the couples here, as well as simply meeting them for a quick fuck, given the chance. Whether that qualifies them as a swinger or not. I'm also aware that there has always been an imbalance and that the vast majority of guys here are just following their dicks and mean no harm whatsoever, many of them being good company and well worth getting to know.

Also, It might be worth mentioning that having successfully run a business myself for a number of years I am commercially aware and fully understand the value of paying customers.

The one and only issue I have with single blokes is the sheer number of pushy idiots who appear to think paying a subscription entitles them to treat the rest of us as though we're here for their entertainment. Which is what I understood HothouseSub to be referring to in her post. It is also IN MY OPINION the reason for the decline in the relative number of couples and single females (active or otherwise) on the site. I think it's a shame that the majority of interaction between what is, or should be, essentially the core membership (active swingers) is largely forced to occur away from the main chat areas and that those people have to put up with finding alternative means of uninterrupted real-time interaction. Let's be honest, opening a password protected chatroom means spending so much time flitting back and forth handing out passwords, it's hardly worth the effort.

I truly believe the site should work harder to make the place more couple friendly. At the end of the day, what happens when the last few couples give up and decide it's just not worth the subscription any more due to the sheer amount of hassle caused by idiots? I may be wrong, but it appears to me that many of the single women here are also one half of a couple OR only interested in couples/other females, if that is the case it seems making the place more couple friendly would surely encourage the number of "single" females to grow and benefit everyone including the single guys.

P.S. In the time taken to write this reply, the menu bar chatroom counter has not dropped below 1325. Currently sitting at 1519.

Thanks for all of that.

Seeing as you already know I like things to be right, and out of interest on the point you raised on the counter... I did my own check and I think you missed some of the rooms in your quick maths, I just did the same exercise and I think you forgot to include all of the people in the non-UK regional rooms too, an easy mistake to make.

Quote by 2for2more

You're quite right, I've just checked the screen shot again, there was almost 200 more chatters in those non-UK regional rooms at the time, making the menu bar counter slightly less inaccurate. But still far from right.

Please feel free to keep checking and correcting everything I have to say. Your opinion is so valuable to us.

Well as I see it, you can either complain about something being inaccurate and the team will naturally want to look into that concern for you, or you are just having a moan and expect no response.

Perhaps in future you'd like to let us know which one it is so we can act accordingly?

Quote by 2for2more

Presumably this is your version of "no response". Once again, thank you so much for your invaluable guidance.

Far from it, I assumed you'd infer from my comment that I thought the counter was working as intended, my mistake for assuming you'd get that from what I said- apologies.

When I did the calculation, given people were logging in and out, my rapid sum of the people shown in each room added up to within 1 or 2 of the total shown at the top of the chat screen (which I think is pretty accurate and probably preferable to the number flicking up and down all over the place all the time as people log in and out, as that would not significantly change peoples view of roughly how many people were about)

If however you're looking at the banner number of people shown in the chatroom in the blue SH header on the main site, that takes some time to "catch-up" and only updates periodically, based on a number of factors, including how often your browser refreshes, and a few other things. Again, I don't think its so delayed, or imprecise that it would affect anyone's use of the site significantly- perhaps you have a different view? if it says 1200 are you less likely to log into chat than if it says 1400?