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having real probs with chat

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hey i know there prob isnt a solution to this problem but it's getting sooooooooo frustrating!! I can get into chat but it's sooooo slow my end, it's running up to 4/5 mins behind everyone else (i know this cos i have some memebers on msn), if i whisper it shows up stright away my end but the response is still delayed, it's really doing my head in!! I have cleared all cookies and cleaned my whole comp up but it' still no better, any suggestions would be great plzzzzzzzz
are you using a web cam or is it just straight chat, i had a problem a fe weeks backs and my cam was a big problem. Im also on a borrowed laptop with little memory and i installed a very large program which took up all the resources.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/88005.html
have a look here to