The level of rude from the users

Check that people are interested in/looking for single men before contacting them 🤷🏻‍♀️

If there name is bold on the list you are looking for the same things

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

I think there's an element of a vicious circle there. Some single men act like idiots, single women and couples start ignoring all single men to cope and more single men start being pushy or just speaking in haste instead of thinking about the best approach, and the wheel just keeps on spinning. I don't know that there's a solution.

I don't agree with this tbh. I just don't believe pushy guys are doing it in response to anything external, it all seems to be driven by their own desires with scant regard for any kind of reciprocal interest. Equally, I don't think that this is problem for just SH, I think its a wider societal problem.

Quote by Lapua

I don't agree with this tbh. I just don't believe pushy guys are doing it in response to anything external, it all seems to be driven by their own desires with scant regard for any kind of reciprocal interest. Equally, I don't think that this is problem for just SH, I think its a wider societal problem.

I'm not saying pushy guys are doing it in response, I'm saying other guys become pushy in response to the situation. I've seen it happen on a certain other site that shall remain nameless, and I've felt the temptation myself.

We always acknowledge everyone who says Hi, even in the street, we were always taught manners when we were young. We donfind that there are a lot of pushy/rude people and the amount of guys just putting a cock shot up as an introduction is just crazy. Honestly do they think they are the only ones with a cock? and it’s the first thing that we want to see, or the biggest bugbear is when guys say great pics or love you pics, but haven’t read your profile, I always read the profile before I answer, I need to know who you are, where your from, and if you have a profile, though tbh most of these cock shots don’t have any pics or profile, so I just shut them down, and put them on my block list, wasters just out for a perv, but not at my expense. If people want to contact us, great but have the decency to read our profile to see if we are in the same ball park

Having been on here a year, my take is that a lot of blokes have come here having completed Tinder and got to the final boss level and are here because they equate swinging with desperate women who’ll drop their knickers every time they get a dick pic.

So yes, definitely a level of rude from the users.

If any member is rude or abusive,you have the following options.

Block their profile by using the block tab on it.

That way they can no longer see your profile or contact you thro pm or message.

If the abuse continues into chat or even the forum,then please use the report profile tab and try and give as much info re the abuse as possible.

Admin do read and deal with every report and do not tolerate any member being abused.

Thanks

Quote by pmac1966

Why when someone logs on to chat say hello nobody has the decency to acknowledge them, or is it just me no one replies to, Thoughts or opinions please

@woohoo I know u like to be kept busy but this is the original complaint don’t think it deserves to be reported for being rude.

Quote by Lounmac

@woohoo I know u like to be kept busy but this is the original complaint don’t think it deserves to be reported for being rude.

Good point you make here, there is a difference between rude and abusive. Rude, or impolite is a social rules question, as the site AuP is clear that we take action when it crosses the line into abusive, obviously some judgement on that is needed, but I think most people recognise abuse when they see/hear it!

Quote by Lounmac

@woohoo I know u like to be kept busy but this is the original complaint don’t think it deserves to be reported for being rude.

@ Lounmac

Perhaps I should have explained it better.

Some people tend to have lower expectation's of what's acceptable and what is not, for example.

If I told someone "away and bile yir heed"

Some might take it as being rude whereas others would class it as abuse or If ah said "feck aff and leave me alone"

Rude or abusive.

We have had both instances of the above whereby some people are offended more than others and class rudeness as abuse,

As lap so rightly said if it escalates into a clear case of abuse then that is a different matter, but ultimately it depends on the individuals perception between rudeness and abuse.

But people who don't say Hi back is hardly rude in my opinion, its the way that society has become nowadays, saying hi to random strangers in the street and expecting a reply back is a bit ambitious.

But saying Hi to a member of your Gym etc might be met with a Cautious "Hi" back.

Hope that clears it up a wee bit.

i will always say hi to anyone single guy/couple/single fem ...even if they are younger/older/not my type, we can always chat, as long as they do read our profile and know we are not looking for them, saying hi and chatting keeps the rooms in chat and flowing, in turn others might chat who are looking for single guys, but just never whisper a hi m/f with a cock pic, that is never a good move and a good chance you would get blocked, but other than that, Good Luck and keep saying hi room ....it can sometimes work Xx

just say hi and if they dont respond dont stress, i get loads of people saying hi, and to be honest, i cant be arsed to respond to everyone, no offence it is what it is, dose not mean im being rude, its the whole, we are not into single guys explanation i cant be arsed with typing every-time. hope this makes sense x

And then i just talk to every one and anyone !!! even myself, if no one else is chatting !! 🤣

who said that .........................

Quote by Lounmac

If there name is bold on the list you are looking for the same things

How did I not know this?!

Quote by dirtybertie1201

How did I not know this?!

I didn't know that. 🙈

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

I think there's an element of a vicious circle there. Some single men act like idiots, single women and couples start ignoring all single men to cope and more single men start being pushy or just speaking in haste instead of thinking about the best approach, and the wheel just keeps on spinning. I don't know that there's a solution.

One absolutely crazy solution would be for single blokes not to be pushy and speak in haste I guess? In other words - it's not a vicious circle in the least.

Also the idea that everyone has to acknowledge everyone else is a bit....romantic, isn't it? This isn't some village pub or Monty Python's fish tank after all...

Quote by Paul78

One absolutely crazy solution would be for single blokes not to be pushy and speak in haste I guess? In other words - it's not a vicious circle in the least.

Also the idea that everyone has to acknowledge everyone else is a bit....romantic, isn't it? This isn't some village pub or Monty Python's fish tank after all...

Expecting every member of any given group not to be an arsehole is just unrealistic. There are single women and couples who are just as bad. The disproportionate number of single men has two effects. Firstly, it magnifies the effect of the bad behaviour by some of them due to higher absolute numbers. Secondly, people are, whether they realise it or not, more forgiving of couples and (especially) single women because of their relative scarcity. Writing of a single man because of one ill-considered remark is effectively zero-cost, because there are so many more out there. Doing the same to a single woman is a much greater relative cost, due to the more limited pool of options.

Single, straight men just don't do it for us! But in chat rooms, we get bombarded with PM's and the like. We get emails with single lines, like.. "fuck you need my 10 inches" (measured from his butt!). We now tend not to answer, because as someone else has said, try and be polite and the avalanche of mail or PM's start.

When we play, we don't want one of us sitting out and watching (that'd be me!) We play together and with straight guys, I am pushed to the side. A friend, who we met on another site many years ago, says she views men as a dildo with a pulse. Not very complimentary, but we are all here for our own reasons.

But singles bring nothing to the mix for us, unless they are a minimum of orally Bi. And even then, we are picky! A guys goes to a pub and picks up a girl and has a shag. Is he swinging? Of course not, same goes for the woman. But picking someone up on a web site is swinging? What is the difference?

Quote by Rumouruk

But picking someone up on a web site is swinging? What is the difference?

YES! Too many blokes here who seem to have got lost on their way to ( Mod Edit )

Sorry for the need for mod edit -for continuity, I mentioned the name of a popular hookup site 😊

Quote by Firsttimeblondeandhubby

Hey boys, Hayley here x

Add some photos 😀

Quote by samlxmas

Being on chat can be EXHAUSTING. We’ve made it clear in our profile we’re not interested in single men and yet 99% don’t have the decency to read/check this before bombarding with messages so admittedly I tend to just ignore them as it’s not worth my energy

Then again I have had many chat requests from the male half of a couple and when I look at their profile have seen "no single males". As such I have come to the conclusion that if said male is online alone then he is more than happy to converse with the "dreaded" single male.

I wonder how many single guys walk into a pub and shout a general "Hi"? If they did, how many replies would they get? I reckon none! So why expect everyone to say Hi when they go into a chat room? People are there for their own reasons, they are on this (and other) sites for their own reasons. No one owes anything to anyone outside their interests. And like others have said, say hi, get flooded!

Quote by Lounmac

Who’s there ?

I am here

Quote by pmac1966

Why when someone logs on to chat say hello nobody has the decency to acknowledge them, or is it just me no one replies to, Thoughts or opinions please

Don't take it personally, just keep going and be the polite and civil person you want others to be.

You'll soon break the ice, but keep in mind that the vast majority of peeps in a chatroom are not going to chat . . . well they might wake up for a few minutes when one of the girls gets her boobs out on cam.

Hello to you all i am a single male for my sins lol older maybe wiser looking for a connection with a single female who likes to explore with me and have a none rushed time in and out of the bedroom, i can meet in a public place and if we click then lets take it to the next step and enjoy ourselfs if we dont click maybe a frienship i am honest and genuine in the yorkshire area, just out of a long term sexually frustating realationship i dont like dramas but ready to explore with the right person not just sex but cuddles and mutual respect for each other asking to much ? i hope not there is a perfect match for everyone, so to you all enjoy your life and spread some happiness xx

This feels like an episode of Black Mirror

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

I think there's an element of a vicious circle there. Some single men act like idiots, single women and couples start ignoring all single men to cope and more single men start being pushy or just speaking in haste instead of thinking about the best approach, and the wheel just keeps on spinning. I don't know that there's a solution.

Then again I have lost count of the number of times I have been contacted by the male half of a couple who have "no single males" on their profile and I am very much single, male and gay.