Things that piss you off in chat

Quote by 2for2more

Quote by funswing92
Agree with 2 , single guys do what single guys do. If they send random cock pics or random wispers,so what , mrs f either laughs or thinks mmmm nice but ignore them. What pisses us off more is people who whilst in chat look at your profile then instantly block us from viewing their profile ..... WTF ......   what they scared of ..... being found out as FAKERS , cos that's what we think. So we block them back ...petty but quietly satisfying hahaha

 We're blocked by a local couple. We've never chatted or communicated with them, but they have us blocked!? Are they just rude, or do they have something to hide?..... Who cares?  

Hi, if you've never had anything to do with them then you can't have done anything wrong.  ;)  The reason they'll have blocked you is far more likely to be that they've checked your profile, found that for whatever reason you're not compatible (it could just be age, habits, preferences or whatever) and they don't want to waste further time checking your profile again. Short of remembering every profile you check and disregard, there's no other way (to my knowledge) of 'marking' the profiles of people you don't want to view again.  'Blocking' has a negative connotation but it isn't just about preventing obnoxious morons from making contact. Also, bear in mind that it's not unknown for people to get stroppy and seek explanations or argue when they feel they've be 'rejected'. I've lost count of the number of times that's happened to us over the years we've been here. We all have our preferences and shouldn't have to explain why to anyone.  Just forget it and don't see it as some sort of personal slur.

Quote by 2for2more

Quote by osemlover

Quote by 2for2more

Quote by funswing92
Agree with 2 , single guys do what single guys do. If they send random cock pics or random wispers,so what , mrs f either laughs or thinks mmmm nice but ignore them. What pisses us off more is people who whilst in chat look at your profile then instantly block us from viewing their profile ..... WTF ......   what they scared of ..... being found out as FAKERS , cos that's what we think. So we block them back ...petty but quietly satisfying hahaha

 We're blocked by a local couple. We've never chatted or communicated with them, but they have us blocked!? Are they just rude, or do they have something to hide?..... Who cares?  

Hi, if you've never had anything to do with them then you can't have done anything wrong.  ;)  The reason they'll have blocked you is far more likely to be that they've checked your profile, found that for whatever reason you're not compatible (it could just be age, habits, preferences or whatever) and they don't want to waste further time checking your profile again. Short of remembering every profile you check and disregard, there's no other way (to my knowledge) of 'marking' the profiles of people you don't want to view again.  'Blocking' has a negative connotation but it isn't just about preventing obnoxious morons from making contact. Also, bear in mind that it's not unknown for people to get stroppy and seek explanations or argue when they feel they've be 'rejected'. I've lost count of the number of times that's happened to us over the years we've been here. We all have our preferences and shouldn't have to explain why to anyone.  Just forget it and don't see it as some sort of personal slur.

 Makes a lot of sense and no doubt you're right. The way we see it is.. If they've got us blocked already, they're obviously not the kind of people we're interested in. Maybe it is just another feature missing from the site, or even peoples inability to make full use of the filters that are available. But as you also point out, there's no avoiding the fact it comes across as rude.
 We try to organise socials and camping weekends etc to bring swingers together in the flesh, we've had a lot worse insults than being blocked!..  lol

Yep that's the way to see it. I think it would save a lot of time being able to "flag up" profiles which aren't compatible for whatever reason simply to avoid the need to block them and thereby save causing offence. The site filters are OK and yes some people don't fully utilise them but they're not perfect and never can be as long as there are such problems as 'fake couples' - the female halves of which are never seen or heard, let alone met...

We've also had people get quite stroppy about being politely turned down for one reason or another and they do end up on our ignore list quick smart for obvious reasons.  

It’s also possible that the local to you couple blocked you for no other reason than you are so close to them geographically so don’t want to run the risk of bumping into you when out on non swinging activities?

Quote by OnThePull
It’s also possible that the local to you couple blocked you for no other reason than you are so close to them geographically so don’t want to run the risk of bumping into you when out on non swinging activities?

 Exactly this.. dont want to be running into people in Tesco's.... and guys in chat who think being 'just round the corner' is a  bonus, when its the exact opposite. 

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Quote by OnThePull
It’s also possible that the local to you couple blocked you for no other reason than you are so close to them geographically so don’t want to run the risk of bumping into you when out on non swinging activities?

 Exactly this.. dont want to be running into people in Tesco's.... and guys in chat who think being 'just round the corner' is a  bonus, when its the exact opposite. 

 The point is that we are all supposed to be actual honest swingers here. As a couple we have no reason to hide away from other honest swinging couples, even those we have no interest in playing with. Bumping into other swingers in the supermarket is no different than bumping into anyone else, and as for bumping into some phoney single bloke who's just going to embarrass us, it's never happened! they're more likely to be with their wife, wishing their life away (don't forget, they may come over all big and brave in here, but if they can't even turn up to a real arranged meet, how likely is it they're going to kick off in the supermarket?!). 
Have you ever been to a social? If not, Please don't think I'm being rude, but I strongly recommend you try it, it's a good way learn a thing or two about being in the company of other genuine swingers in a social situation, they do an amazing impression of normal everyday people just like your good selves, chatting, relaxing, eating, drinking, walking, talking, picnicking, shopping, visiting Christmas markets, camping etc. etc.. Somehow they manage to spend whole evenings/days/weekends in each others company without feeling compelled to do the things you appear be concerned about happening on a random Saturday morning in Tescos.

We wouldn't want to run into anyone we were playing with in our local shops mainly because we wouldn't want them to know where we live.  Reason? Well some time ago someone from here we trusted and thought was an honest decent guy started to make himself a bit of a pest. I'm not going into more detail here but it wasn't very pleasant and we'd rather not be in that situation again.  Hence the reason we don't accommodate, don't meet near to where we live and would hate to run into anyone we knew from here in our local shops.  It's not about being embarrassed in a shop, it's about privacy and avoiding the guys who won't take no for an answer when you no longer wish to see them again.  Yes they are a small minority but once bitten, twice shy.

I think that part of the thing that I don't like about the chat rooms is the feeling that I don't know what to say. 

Some rooms feel very friendly ( like Pool ) some seem less so - though I couldn't say why most of the time.

As to the whisper thing I wouldn't know where to start.

See you in a room somewhere ( and if you see me say hi )

Another thing that annoys us are those who put stuff in their profiles which they subsequently try to deny. For example, their profile states they're bi/bi-curious but when we point we're only interested in straight guys, they claim it's all a mistake and they're not really bi at all...  

It may be old fashioned for some but we judge people on their profiles. What are we supposed to conclude from profiles with virtually no substantive content or those which are simply ticking every conceivable box in the options list, even when they're contradictory? The former leads us to believe the subject can't be bothered to make any effort whilst the latter paints a picture of someone who's rather less than selective.  Either way, they get ignored in favour of those which come from people who're actually trying to convey honestly why they're here and what they're looking for in a coherent manner.

I wonder how many of those who complain about a lack of response here ever think about the message their profiles convey, other than images of dicks from numerous angles ...  

Quote by osemlover
Another thing that annoys us are those who put stuff in their profiles which they subsequently try to deny. For example, their profile states they're bi/bi-curious but when we point we're only interested in straight guys, they claim it's all a mistake and they're not really bi at all...  
It may be old fashioned for some but we judge people on their profiles. What are we supposed to conclude from profiles with virtually no substantive content or those which are simply ticking every conceivable box in the options list, even when they're contradictory? The former leads us to believe the subject can't be bothered to make any effort whilst the latter paints a picture of someone who's rather less than selective.  Either way, they get ignored in favour of those which come from people who're actually trying to convey honestly why they're here and what they're looking for in a coherent manner.
I wonder how many of those who complain about a lack of response here ever think about the message their profiles convey, other than images dicks from numerous angles ...  

 Exactly, yes, agree with you osemlover. I would add that the Profile's need more options available to the user to be able to portray more information that could be useful for the observer. For example Bi-Curious, there are different levels of Bi interaction when not fully Bi. I play straight in a straight couple scenario, Bi-Curious in a Bi scenario, usually by prior agreement and for the pleasure of the female, but i don't do anal or anything dodgy. Thankfully there is a space on the profile where to put in some free hand text. Thanks for the likes by the way on my profile and photos. ;-)

Quote by Male39

Quote by osemlover
Another thing that annoys us are those who put stuff in their profiles which they subsequently try to deny. For example, their profile states they're bi/bi-curious but when we point we're only interested in straight guys, they claim it's all a mistake and they're not really bi at all...  
It may be old fashioned for some but we judge people on their profiles. What are we supposed to conclude from profiles with virtually no substantive content or those which are simply ticking every conceivable box in the options list, even when they're contradictory? The former leads us to believe the subject can't be bothered to make any effort whilst the latter paints a picture of someone who's rather less than selective.  Either way, they get ignored in favour of those which come from people who're actually trying to convey honestly why they're here and what they're looking for in a coherent manner.
I wonder how many of those who complain about a lack of response here ever think about the message their profiles convey, other than images dicks from numerous angles ...  

 Exactly, yes, agree with you osemlover. I would add that the Profile's need more options available to the user to be able to portray more information that could be useful for the observer. For example Bi-Curious, there are different levels of Bi interaction when not fully Bi. I play straight in a straight couple scenario, Bi-Curious in a Bi scenario, usually by prior agreement and for the pleasure of the female, but i don't do anal or anything dodgy. Thankfully there is a space on the profile where to put in some free hand text. Thanks for the likes by the way on my profile and photos. ;-)

I agree entirely.  Far better to have too much information than too little.  All that's required is honesty and a little effort over and above just ticking all the provided boxes. 

Quote by osemlover

Quote by Male39

Quote by osemlover
Another thing that annoys us are those who put stuff in their profiles which they subsequently try to deny. For example, their profile states they're bi/bi-curious but when we point we're only interested in straight guys, they claim it's all a mistake and they're not really bi at all...  
It may be old fashioned for some but we judge people on their profiles. What are we supposed to conclude from profiles with virtually no substantive content or those which are simply ticking every conceivable box in the options list, even when they're contradictory? The former leads us to believe the subject can't be bothered to make any effort whilst the latter paints a picture of someone who's rather less than selective.  Either way, they get ignored in favour of those which come from people who're actually trying to convey honestly why they're here and what they're looking for in a coherent manner.
I wonder how many of those who complain about a lack of response here ever think about the message their profiles convey, other than images dicks from numerous angles ...  

 Exactly, yes, agree with you osemlover. I would add that the Profile's need more options available to the user to be able to portray more information that could be useful for the observer. For example Bi-Curious, there are different levels of Bi interaction when not fully Bi. I play straight in a straight couple scenario, Bi-Curious in a Bi scenario, usually by prior agreement and for the pleasure of the female, but i don't do anal or anything dodgy. Thankfully there is a space on the profile where to put in some free hand text. Thanks for the likes by the way on my profile and photos. ;-)

I agree entirely.  Far better to have too much information than too little.  All that's required is a little effort over and above ticking the provided boxes. 

 Absolutely! Another thing that happens a lot on here is the 'unknowns'. For instance, you receive a message and go to reply to it and the user is unknown and can't be contacted, only to find out that they are no longer on SH. On the right hand side of the SH main page (news feed, if it can be called that) is that it displays Profile Views and a number in brackets of how many persons have viewed your profile. If you click on it, it will change to a lower number when you get back on the main page. This is because it takes off all the likes you received from persons that have that have left the site, most of them recent likes. My point to this is that there are a number of persons who come onto the site, quickly put a brief profile together and then not long after delete again and disappear. Nothing wrong with this as the site allows you to do this, but for pursuers of encounters this is extremely frustrating :-)  

For anyone a bit intimidated by or fed up with particular rooms which appear cliquey, it's perfectly possible to create your own chat rooms and even password protect them so members are there by invitation only. Creating a room with a defining label isn't in itself going to prevent anyone chatting about anything they want to or trying to direct the conversation but that can be dealt with in other ways. We tend to stick to PM conversations in the chatrooms so whatever else is going on doesn't bother us but we have occasionally set up rooms with a particular theme in mind and it can be a good way to chat to likeminded people. It may seem like the majority of users are only interested in a certain aspect of swinging but I think they're simply more apparent by the volume of their postings.  On a personal level we tend to restrict ourselves to 'the pool' and get quite a lot of guys contacting us who, despite what's written in our profile, seem to believe that we're looking for a  cuckold/humiliation scenario. It doesn't bother us hugely but if it did we'd probably just create our own chat room titled 'non-cuckold couples chat' or something similar in order to avoid such issues. 

maybe a little too specific?

Quote by Snuffles87
maybe a little too specific?

Not sure what sure you're referring to but assuming it's creating a room - the choice of name is up to the person who sets it up so they can be as specific as they like. Since the whole point of setting up your own room is to differentiate it from all the others it's just a question who you want to target. Bear in mind it's also possible to be in more than one room at once so being in a very specific room with fewer members doesn't preclude you or anyone else from also chatting elsewhere, What it does do is at least give you a chance of attracting people who share the same interests to start with.

Quote by osemlover

Quote by Snuffles87
maybe a little too specific?

Not sure what sure you're referring to but assuming it's creating a room - the choice of name is up to the person who sets it up so they can be as specific as they like. Since the whole point of setting up your own room is to differentiate it from all the others it's just a question who you want to target. Bear in mind it's also possible to be in more than one room at once so being in a very specific room with fewer members doesn't preclude you or anyone else from also chatting elsewhere, What it does do is at least give you a chance of attracting people who share the same interests to start with.

 No my comment was directed at the one made immediately before mine ref a specific individual in chat. It appears to have been removed from the thread now.  Didn't want anyone getting in trouble 🙂 

Aha I see. That was very good advice. :thumbup:

Not in the pissed off category but we recently had a message from a guy who'd sent a wink and received our auto-reply. To this he responded saying he didn't have full membership so couldn't send many messages but he didn't actually use that limited opportunity to tell us anything else...  lol

you do get some amusingly stupid messages sometimes like that, but it does make me smile whilst im sorting the wheat from the chaff for Sammy.

Just for those here who don't understand what couples and females often have to put up with on sites like this even when trying to be polite.  Some people just don't want to take no for an answer.  This is a recent chat conversation of ours from somewhere else:

Him - wow!

Mrs Osemlover - hi

your mrs looks very tasty

do I lol

oh thats embarrassing haha and yes, yes you do

thanks

im ??? by the way

hi

you happen to like young guys with big cocks?

I like nice guys

im a nice guy, i just happen to be very well endowed aslo

how old are you?

27

ok that's too young for me sorry

thats a shame cos im a nice relaxed guy with a big cock and alot of stamina

I'm sure

id love to give you multiple orgasms

think you're a bit too far away as well as being too young

i travel alot round the UK with work

sorry best of luck anyway

you really dont wanna try my big cock?

there's a bit more to this than that

of course, you should read my veris

that wouldn't make you older

why do you have a prejudice against younger people?

I don't

seems it

really?

yep

there couldn't be another reason?

such as

oh right well that's where your lack of experience shows, I have a son almost your age is that ok?

so? why wouldnt it be?

that's why I don't meet guys your age

your not being asked to sleep with him lol

you've just exemplified why I don't want to meet guys like you who think it's all about dick size and stamina, you'll grow up one day.

lurkers in the rooms who never interact just watch.. who don't add anything by being there

yeah what's with the lurking! I have always found it creepy in dogging as well. Those guys who drive in and sit in total darkness making you a bit nervous. I always go say hello to people. Occasionally you get told to go forth and I always do so respectfully if people are having a specific meet up or only want to talk to couples). But more often than not I've been at least allowed to watch, if not play because I'm polite and friendly. Not the creepy silhouette in the old Toyota! 

Rosie fully agree , then you find some of them taking the moral high ground about chat rooms  in the forum .........

I can only speak for ourselves but we chat to plenty of people, just not publicly - are we dodgy lurkers who contribute nothing or are we just chatting to different people in a different manner?  ;)  Surely that's why there's a PM function in the chatrooms - to enable both public and private communication.  Quite a few people tell us that the chatrooms can be a bit cliquey at times so maybe that's why some find it easier to do their chatting in private or maybe they just want to chat about stuff they don't want to make public. Just a thought...  

Agreed Osem and spot on! Similar to what i always do, the chat rooms, also they are handy to see who is online or not in one place and up for a chat. I do join in chats in the public domain occasionally but this depends on what the subject of the chats are at the time and whether i have an interest or if i can add anything to the converse. Yes, you definitely have to be cautious on there and quite often i have seen a ''war on words'' take place. Private chat always the best for me and much preferred and the golden rule being 'always ask first' as politeness can get you everywhere, rudeness nowhere!! Can you believe with whats going on in the world at the moment that there are still people wanting to meet, mainly single Bi males propositioning me, crazy. I never meet single males anyway which is clearly stated on my profile (though the many don't read them!) and only play Bi-Curious when meeting a couple that like the curious play but these people are so dangerous, not only to others but to themselves, just shows you how hygienic they can be! Still, can't wait for all this to be over and we can safely go out into the playground again, wow, what a party that will be xx stay safe xx 

Just re read all of this thread and it gave me a laugh. Such good points made by several members. Unfortunately despite meets not being possible presently, though I have see some "Up for a quickie" adverts, the chat rooms seem to be less and less appealing. I guess we are lurkers as we don't chat much in the main large rooms but are very active in the smaller more relevant themed rooms. However since the addition of being able to add a picture, most chat seems to be limited to comments about the pictures, which I admit I enjoy and the flirting that can lead to, but there is no actual conversation happening in the room. We attempt to reply to all PMs, but sometimes especially if I log on as the fem, rather than just the couple I get so many messages I can't keep up. Thanks to all those lovely people I have built an online friendship with and can have a chat and giggle with. It is helping a stressed frontline healthcare worker relax at times. Keep safe everyone x

Good points Mrs Tiny.   And bravo for doing a great job in healthcare. 

Despite asking people not to send them to us, we just got another wink.  Our auto-responder replied stating the usual:

"Hi, Whilst I love the attention  I prefer a real mail to a wink, please take a few minutes to make sure that you have read my profile and then why not drop me a personalised message if you think we are looking for the same things..."

What was the guy's response to this?

"Hey"

Doh...:doh:

Some people have no idea of how to use a chatroom, the clue is in the name, Hi, Hey, Wow do not constitute a chat in my world and a photo of an erect penis is hardly an introduction or conversation starter to a straight male ! Once this is over I have visions of people meeting up and getting to the bedroom and just sitting in the corner saying nothing and flicking through profiles on their phones.

Its difficult is one of the the most common  gateways into swinging these days, if you block one of the primary methods by which young people enter the scene then it may choke it somewhat down the line. I dont think SH will ever get a balance that will suit all the actual swingers on the site though. 

Most common thing I'm finding now is apart from the guys faking as a couple (Wife perhaps knows nothing of it) but going a step further and saying he has to go for a minute so "wife" is doing the replies.
Yes I get the usual "wot u into?"  My trouble is I ALWAYS reply, I'm old fashioned that way.

Best one I got yesterday was after a long trail of text's the "wife" suggests she sell her spunk stained pants and would I buy them, lol.

people are very nervous sometimes.