Things that piss you off in chat

simping and gynocentrism. like "oh you have a fanny let me worship you" now granted im aware this is a vibe that some find fitting. but fellas why you gotta sell yourselves so short???? you are an object of desire too, so be one. now don't get me wrong it doesn't annoy me, I just feel the male role is becoming a little wet

Quote by icarusflight
simping and gynocentrism. like "oh you have a fanny let me worship you" now granted im aware this is a vibe that some find fitting. but fellas why you gotta sell yourselves so short???? you are an object of desire too, so be one. now don't get me wrong it doesn't annoy me, I just feel the male role is becoming a little wet

That sort of thing would put us off and come across as fake or desperate. All we want is people to be open and honest about what they're looking for and if they're going to make contact with us, at least bother to find out what we're seeking first. lol

The numbers stack up hugely against males here but you're right that decent guys are very much sought after and just need to be themselves. What's the point of pretending to be something you're not?  Your profile is what you're going to be first judged on so why not take a little time to ensure it reflects reality rather than just ticking all the boxes in an effort to appeal to everyone? Surely that's got to be better for everyone here.

People watching my cam and not talking to me, i mean if you're going to watch be smash one out you can atleast say hello etc, sad times

People who make all kinds of demands on their profile about what they do and dont want, but have pictures that are 8 or 9 years old or more! 

Quote by scottydee
People who make all kinds of demands on their profile about what they do and dont want, but have pictures that are 8 or 9 years old or more! 

Good point Scottydee!

Quote by Wankoncam86
People watching my cam and not talking to me, i mean if you're going to watch be smash one out you can atleast say hello etc, sad times

 This.  Exactly this. Show some manners / appreciation/ aknowledgement

I get what you mean, but I was trying to show the "double standards" that some folk have 😁

Can somebody explain why guys keep sending us one word messages - 'hi'. We used to find it odd that we'd often get just a cheesy one liner but now it appears even that is too much effort for some.  lol

is it an automated reply, I always talk normally as you know, if you do not put the effort in to get to know people you deserve to fail. We all like a chat and it doesn’t need to be about sex 24/7 other things happen in the real world. Be interesting 

It's not any sort of reply because we've never made contact with these people. We often get winks to which we send one of the auto-replies:

Hi, Whilst I love the attention I prefer a real mail to a wink, please take a few minutes to make sure that you have read my profile and then why not drop me a personalised message if you think we are looking for the same things..

However these rarely generate a response of more than a few words lol. It's just weird.

Quote by osemlover
Can somebody explain why guys keep sending us one word messages - 'hi'. We used to find it odd that we'd often get just a cheesy one liner but now it appears even that is too much effort for some.  lol

I get the same several times a day (not blowing my own trumpet). I also use the auto link. It's now got to the point where l'm having to block people, because they won't take no for an answer 🙄

Quote by Thomas1934

Quote by osemlover
Can somebody explain why guys keep sending us one word messages - 'hi'. We used to find it odd that we'd often get just a cheesy one liner but now it appears even that is too much effort for some.  lol

I get the same several times a day (not blowing my own trumpet). I also use the auto link. It's now got to the point where l'm having to block people, because they won't take no for an answer 🙄

We've had to resort to that too sadly because some people just become a pain. However most of the people we block are just people we have no interest in for various reasons and we don't want to waste time clicking on their profiles again and again.

Quote by TinaSparx

Quote by happyhamster
People being friendly one minute, then the next time you go in room you get totally blanked, time to stop using chatroons

 I get this all the time. Especially from 'couples'

 l get it too. l apologise if l go off on a tangent. Even with the messages, l either get one liners, desperates.... l can be chatting to some lovely different people for sometime. They either ghost on me, others have just faded away...... l'm getting extremely pessimistic about it all........ All these promises..... when it comes to the crunch they bail saying something.... has come up and can't go through with it. l've also found that 99% won't chat on the phone or cam (l don't know how to use it- what is it exactly) it certainly wouldn't take me long to do so, l have nothing to hide. I must admit l'm getting wise to 'patterns' (timewasters.....) of behaviour. I thought l could leave my job at work lol As l'm gradually starting to learn,new things work my way through the site starting to doubt myself at the same time now. Wheres the fun in all this??

Quote by Thomas1934

Quote by TinaSparx

Quote by happyhamster
People being friendly one minute, then the next time you go in room you get totally blanked, time to stop using chatroons

 I get this all the time. Especially from 'couples'

 l get it too. l apologise if l go off on a tangent. Even with the messages, l either get one liners, desperates.... l can be chatting to some lovely different people for sometime. They either ghost on me, others have just faded away...... l'm getting extremely pessimistic about it all........ All these promises..... when it comes to the crunch they bail saying something.... has come up and can't go through with it. l've also found that 99% won't chat on the phone or cam (l don't know how to use it- what is it exactly) it certainly wouldn't take me long to do so, l have nothing to hide. I must admit l'm getting wise to 'patterns' (timewasters.....) of behaviour. I thought l could leave my job at work lol As l'm gradually starting to learn,new things work my way through the site starting to doubt myself at the same time now. Wheres the fun in all this??

When it stops being fun it's time to move on, but before you do that:

The trick is to not let it get to you,  easier said that done I but there are many out there that share the same wants and desires as you but to get to them you do have to sort through the chaff.   Cherry picking is an art form, only time served as a member will help you to learn that craft.  

Not restricted to chat by any means but we detest the sort of guys who try to persuade Mrs Osem to either meet alone or indulge in activities we're not interested in despite having been told that's not what we're looking for.  

Guys who claim they're straight when their profiles say they're bi/bi-curious and have bi-guys listed amongst their target group. Some even try to argue that they're only bi-curious so it shouldn't matter to us. Well it does guys - Mrs Osem doesn't get excited at the thought of being fancied by someone who is attracted to men...

My main gripe: opening up a conversation with a fellow member and after a few minutes pleasantries finding the shutters come down with a resounding clank when the dreaded word 'sex' is brought up.  Are we, or are we not, members of an organisation solely formed to meet our sexual needs?  

Quote by Allan46
My main gripe: opening up a conversation with a fellow member and after a few minutes pleasantries finding the shutters come down with a resounding clank when the dreaded word 'sex' is brought up.  Are we, or are we not, members of an organisation solely formed to meet our sexual needs?  

I think we can explain.  You're quite correct that this site is intended for people looking for sexually orientated fun BUT that comes in many forms and there are lots of people here (mainly guys) who are solely looking for wank material. As a guy here you probably aren't bombarded with messages all day every day but most females and couples are and there are so many guys who just want to talk dirty to someone so they can get off. If they had the sense to admit that it would be something but what they do is start a conversation normally and then after a couple of minutes start asking things like 'are you wearing knickers?' 'what's your favourite sex position?', 'do you like big cocks & heavy cummers?' Don't get me wrong, if that's their thing that's fine but a) not everyone wants that, b) couples & females get overloaded with it and c) some of us are here to meet people not just talk dirty to make some random guy feel better because he's horny.

This is a question of perspective.  Guys here outnumber everyone else 100-1 I reckon and because of that they tend not to be inundated with messages and requests, some of which are very pushy and frankly disgusting. Females and couples on the other hand get many messages every day and find it hard to keep up and separate the wheat from the chaff.  

If your thing is talking dirty (not saying it is) then our advice is to say that and try to find like-minded people with whom to indulge that activity.  If, on the other hand, you are here hoping to meet people our advice would be to take a bit more time, steer clear of the sex talk initially and start by finding out who you're dealing with just as you would if you met someone in a pub. The chances are in that scenario it would take you more than a few minutes to start chatting about sex to someone you'd only just met.  Just because we're on a sex site, it doesn't mean we all want the same things at the same pace - some of us see this as an extension of social friendships and need to build that side of things before the fun starts.

Finally, your sexual needs, expectations and preferences aren't necessarily the same as everyone else's and if what you're trying isn't working then the best thing to do is try something different.

Best of luck.

when you set a fuck my sexy husband room up as a male alternative to fuck my sexy wife and automatically blokes think my wife wants to see me get my backdoors smashed in 

   brilliant :rotflmao:

People that dont understand that Covid 19 is still a very real risk, the amount of people STILL advertising to meet randoms annoys me, by all means meet up in a safe way if thats what you wanna do, but do the decent thing and self isolate for a couple of weeks after, just in case *runs for the hills*

What never fails to amuse me is the number of profile's which usually state "no single males" but the male of the couple is very happy to converse with single males in the chatroom when the Mrs is not around/at bingo/watching soaps et all!

No show after saying a time and place 

I speak to anyone, its called manners, that is unless they are abusive then they are binned.

Quote by 2for2more

Quote by marcusb
What never fails to amuse me is the number of profile's which usually state "no single males" but the male of the couple is very happy to converse with single males in the chatroom when the Mrs is not around/at bingo/watching soaps et all!

 Do you think that couples who are not interested in singletons sexually shouldn't talk to them in chat either? Or is it only ok for the female half of couples to chat with single blokes?

 I think you miss my point somewhat. In my experience on the site the male half of couples is often quite happy to "chat" privately when the female is not around and said chat rarely involves anything to do with females.

Quote by newangelwings69
No show after saying a time and place 

 Quite common we're afraid. 

Quote by Oldflame
I speak to anyone, its called manners, that is unless they are abusive then they are binned.

 you even speak to me

ahh, but we will soon be neighbours ish ! Keep the curtains closed lol

Quote by OnThePull

Quote by Thomas1934

Quote by TinaSparx

Quote by happyhamster
People being friendly one minute, then the next time you go in room you get totally blanked, time to stop using chatroons

 I get this all the time. Especially from 'couples'

 l get it too. l apologise if l go off on a tangent. Even with the messages, l either get one liners, desperates.... l can be chatting to some lovely different people for sometime. They either ghost on me, others have just faded away...... l'm getting extremely pessimistic about it all........ All these promises..... when it comes to the crunch they bail saying something.... has come up and can't go through with it. l've also found that 99% won't chat on the phone or cam (l don't know how to use it- what is it exactly) it certainly wouldn't take me long to do so, l have nothing to hide. I must admit l'm getting wise to 'patterns' (timewasters.....) of behaviour. I thought l could leave my job at work lol As l'm gradually starting to learn,new things work my way through the site starting to doubt myself at the same time now. Wheres the fun in all this??

When it stops being fun it's time to move on, but before you do that:
The trick is to not let it get to you,  easier said that done I but there are many out there that share the same wants and desires as you but to get to them you do have to sort through the chaff.   Cherry picking is an art form, only time served as a member will help you to learn that craft.  

 Thankyou that is an extremely valid point, which l've noted x

Not restricted to chat but why do some guys send messages like this?

"Hey there , you not far a way from me ..can i come now ?"

Hardly a good idea at the best of times but in the middle of T4/lockdown?