Spent a while chatting to a female half of a couple on the Internet and then phone and got on well. Organised a dogging meet. The day of the meet came and a quick text to check it was all go was sent and a positive reply received. Same again at 7pm.
So there I was at , waiting for the people I was supposed to be meeting to turn up. Five, then ten minutes late. Sent a text. No reply. Rang. No reply. Ten more minutes go by. Rang again. She cuts me off. Receive text message
"Child sick"
Thanks. Couldn't you have let me know before I set out? A text would have been polite.
Fair enough excuse if I hadn't heard it at least three times before. It p*sses me right off that people think they can treat single guys like dirt without any hint of courtesy or politeness. I've had enough of it as I'm sure a lot of the other genuine guys out there have.
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Bl**dy Timewasters
I would say 95% of people on here are timewasters. With me being a TV it's prob more than that as I beleive those I email and talk to on phone have no intention of turning up, they just pull their plonker getting off on the emails and tel calls.
Timewasters are my biggest bugbare, and I know its been said before and I understand the reasons we can't have a name and shame section but sometimes I just wish we could.
Timewasters are my biggest bugbare, and I know its been said before and I understand the reasons we can't have a name and shame section but sometimes I just wish we could.
Quote by master55
Isn't there a saying "Manners maketh man"
Perhaps they just get scared off, but a short text message could do no harm :!:
Exactly, I don't mind at all if someone changes their mind or feels its not for them, but it would be polite just to call or text to say "Sorry, I can't make it"
Just to say its not just single guys being stood up by are a genuine couple who both work shifts and have kids to find babysitters for. A couple we arranged to meet didn't turn up and that is a precious evening to us when we could have seen other friends etc.
But we have been on the other side too.... with a child chucking up and not being able to leave to go and meet someone but we gave as much notice and were very polite - honest!!!
Us couples aren't all bad promise.
T & K xx
But we have been on the other side too.... with a child chucking up and not being able to leave to go and meet someone but we gave as much notice and were very polite - honest!!!
Us couples aren't all bad promise.
T & K xx
Sex God
Dont organise , improvise .
You will never stop this happening.
We have been lucky and it hasn't happened to us too often.
Far better to accept it and move on. No point in complaining about something you can't change.
This post may upset a few although that isn't our intention but if you think about it it does make sense.
We have been lucky and it hasn't happened to us too often.
Far better to accept it and move on. No point in complaining about something you can't change.
This post may upset a few although that isn't our intention but if you think about it it does make sense.
the problem is usualy deeper than a blatant attempt to wind somebody up, and usually has more to do with self deception than miss-direction..
the fantasy of an arranged meet always has that "get out clause"..its safe, anonymous and at a distance..the excitement can be very powerfull,often such couples will continually postpone the meet in order to prolong the feelings of sexual anticipation, in fact, with many couples, this is all the stimulation they require, but in order for them to gain the buzz from it, they must believe its going to happen..they will squeeze everything from the fantasy, discussing in detail whats going to take place, but, despite the emails, texts and calls, the whole thing is covered with a nice big fluffy blanket of security..then, as the time approaches, the negative feellings creep in and reality is percieved in a rather cooler light."what if i don't like the look of him", "what if he smells", "how do i know he hasn't got something"?..in such cases, the couple might even leave the house, telling themselves they can always opt out en-route..however, because they usually think they can follow it through, due to decieving themselves so convinvcingly, the cancellation is left to the last minute, then, through guilt, it is a short, sharp explanation..usually described as a family crisis, followed by a disconnection of the communication link, while they "hold their breath" and ride out the minutes ahead...this is always acompanied by feelings of its often not a lesson learnt...the emotion will rise again, and the scenario will be trotted out to some other innocent mug..some couples will eventually go through with a meeting, stepping out of the fantasy and into the reality, how the individual percieves the experience will determine their future path..not all couples act out the scenario i've described, and it equally applies to single guys, but it is by no means uncommon..the internet provides a great outlet for fantasy, and much faster than the written replies to magazine advertisements for sexual dates..its probably rife amongst bi-curious and would be cross dressers, as it ofers an outlet for the fantasy, without having to confront the reality of something that potentially could be mentally difficult to deal with, but again, some will take it out of the fantasy at some point..most serial fantasists, wether self decievers or blatant power players will change their screen identities regularly anyway..
in case you were wondering, no, we don't belong in either catagory
..we arranged on private meet, many moons ago..he didn't turn up either..we got a text message a week later, apparantly he had rolled his car on the way to meet us..however, he had now been discharged from hospital, and despite a bruised rib cage, would be prepared to meet again..well, in truth, a week later the emotion had risen within him once more :lol:
just to add..the "18 year old slut needs fucking hard tonight" is something quite different...and the powerplayers would usually be near the rendevous point .they would only gain their satisfaction from witnessing your arrival..power is an emotion that needs to witness its effect..this is true of all walks..its also worth pointing out, and silk n big g made mention of this aspect in their "what couples want" thread..that some dogging couples become fixated on the powerplay, sometimes preffering the satisfaction of luring people over, only to shun them when they approach..silk and g were correct when they said that 'no number can be right, and no approach can be appropiate' for such people, usually the male..jomu was correct in his reply on the "confusing signals" thread, when he suggested than a dogger retreating from such a couple, thus giving them no cause to take offence, might be "baited' in order to see satisfaction of their desire..and i'm going off on a tangent again
..but to recognise that such things happen, and why..(and these cases are by no means conclusive, there are many vairables), should avoid the dissapointment of a failed encounter that you've invested time an effort into, as most of the time and effort will have temporarily boosted someone's sex-life, just not your own :lol:
the fantasy of an arranged meet always has that "get out clause"..its safe, anonymous and at a distance..the excitement can be very powerfull,often such couples will continually postpone the meet in order to prolong the feelings of sexual anticipation, in fact, with many couples, this is all the stimulation they require, but in order for them to gain the buzz from it, they must believe its going to happen..they will squeeze everything from the fantasy, discussing in detail whats going to take place, but, despite the emails, texts and calls, the whole thing is covered with a nice big fluffy blanket of security..then, as the time approaches, the negative feellings creep in and reality is percieved in a rather cooler light."what if i don't like the look of him", "what if he smells", "how do i know he hasn't got something"?..in such cases, the couple might even leave the house, telling themselves they can always opt out en-route..however, because they usually think they can follow it through, due to decieving themselves so convinvcingly, the cancellation is left to the last minute, then, through guilt, it is a short, sharp explanation..usually described as a family crisis, followed by a disconnection of the communication link, while they "hold their breath" and ride out the minutes ahead...this is always acompanied by feelings of its often not a lesson learnt...the emotion will rise again, and the scenario will be trotted out to some other innocent mug..some couples will eventually go through with a meeting, stepping out of the fantasy and into the reality, how the individual percieves the experience will determine their future path..not all couples act out the scenario i've described, and it equally applies to single guys, but it is by no means uncommon..the internet provides a great outlet for fantasy, and much faster than the written replies to magazine advertisements for sexual dates..its probably rife amongst bi-curious and would be cross dressers, as it ofers an outlet for the fantasy, without having to confront the reality of something that potentially could be mentally difficult to deal with, but again, some will take it out of the fantasy at some point..most serial fantasists, wether self decievers or blatant power players will change their screen identities regularly anyway..
in case you were wondering, no, we don't belong in either catagory
..we arranged on private meet, many moons ago..he didn't turn up either..we got a text message a week later, apparantly he had rolled his car on the way to meet us..however, he had now been discharged from hospital, and despite a bruised rib cage, would be prepared to meet again..well, in truth, a week later the emotion had risen within him once more :lol: just to add..the "18 year old slut needs fucking hard tonight" is something quite different...and the powerplayers would usually be near the rendevous point .they would only gain their satisfaction from witnessing your arrival..power is an emotion that needs to witness its effect..this is true of all walks..its also worth pointing out, and silk n big g made mention of this aspect in their "what couples want" thread..that some dogging couples become fixated on the powerplay, sometimes preffering the satisfaction of luring people over, only to shun them when they approach..silk and g were correct when they said that 'no number can be right, and no approach can be appropiate' for such people, usually the male..jomu was correct in his reply on the "confusing signals" thread, when he suggested than a dogger retreating from such a couple, thus giving them no cause to take offence, might be "baited' in order to see satisfaction of their desire..and i'm going off on a tangent again
..but to recognise that such things happen, and why..(and these cases are by no means conclusive, there are many vairables), should avoid the dissapointment of a failed encounter that you've invested time an effort into, as most of the time and effort will have temporarily boosted someone's sex-life, just not your own :lol: God youve hit the nail on the head dirtydoggers, so the couple jef was meeting basicaly wanted to feel in control? And it was the very same couple that id arranged a meet with at the same location at the same time, supose thats what you call power play.
Well Its not going to put me off and i will keep trying as i no there are genuine couples who do want to meet for real out there.
Andy
Well Its not going to put me off and i will keep trying as i no there are genuine couples who do want to meet for real out there.
Andy
erm, afraid i cannot really comment on that individual case, i really don't know..really, i was just pointing out one aspect of apparant "timewasters"..usually the couples looking for the control aspect, would have to see the "power" in action in order to gain any satisfaction from it..like kids dialling 999 to watch the fire tender speed by..it would be wrong to nail such things down to one thing, the edges are often blurred..we talk about such things in terms of dogging, because its a dogging board, but really its down to aspects of personality..that same personality thrives on emotional stimulation, but for every mental high, there is an equal mental low, there is no such thing as a free buzz..with the fantasy thing, there is always the danger that there is an emotional trough left in the wake of an emotional high, and so the whole thing goes full circle like a roller coaster ride..some people just get hooked on this sexual fantasy, and there isn't much better to facilitate that than the internet..
I supose your bound to get timewasters / power trippers /control freaks like you say with the internet and doggers are easy pray.
But like ive said before for every couple/single who like to play these games and mess decent genuine people around such as jef, myself etc, there are DECENT HONEST couples/single out there too.
Andy
But like ive said before for every couple/single who like to play these games and mess decent genuine people around such as jef, myself etc, there are DECENT HONEST couples/single out there too.
Andy
well that was some indepth explanation but reading it several times ( ok its the fella here read it so ima bit slow lol ) i did understand it compleatly and never looked at in that way we just thought we were too fugly to meet xxxxxxxx and yes even as a couple u get so many timewasters and pple with no intentions of meeting ext we have had it several times were the ladies have talked in quite some detail and then they didnt turn up or in one case we were getting intamate with another couple and she ran off wen phoenix touched him ( we kid u not this really happened ) loooking at it i can see how it may have been for them they had this fantasy and then wen it came to reality they couldent handle if there still arround the scene or not now ?
yes, your points are valid andy, there are many couples, and guys that approach private meets made through the internet as a valid way of getting together with likeminded souls..
the aspect i was looking at however, was of the couples that don't intend to mess you about, but usually end up looking as though they have..firehot just gave a good example of this..fantasy of an event is always seen in a positive light, that reality, by comparison, can rarely equal..reality is a moment by moment thing, whereas fantasy can be rewound, played forward through soft focus filters and viewed with all the negative emotions filtered out..the couple in firehot's example, may, and only may..have cancelled meets before, but the desire to experience the reality, would eventually, through familiarisation of the feelings involved, take them closer to the actuality..maybe the next excursion for that couple would have seen a little more involvement, maybe they laid the fantasy to rest that night..
thats not to say you should give up on private meets, but if you judge a telephone conversation as to how likely the couple are to show, then there are pitfalls, often the couples believe they will turn up, so its difficult to assess the situation clearly..of course its true that last minute hitches can scupper plans too, but as with party invites, if the statistics are to be believed, then such events have more than their fair share of last minute disasters
the aspect i was looking at however, was of the couples that don't intend to mess you about, but usually end up looking as though they have..firehot just gave a good example of this..fantasy of an event is always seen in a positive light, that reality, by comparison, can rarely equal..reality is a moment by moment thing, whereas fantasy can be rewound, played forward through soft focus filters and viewed with all the negative emotions filtered out..the couple in firehot's example, may, and only may..have cancelled meets before, but the desire to experience the reality, would eventually, through familiarisation of the feelings involved, take them closer to the actuality..maybe the next excursion for that couple would have seen a little more involvement, maybe they laid the fantasy to rest that night..
thats not to say you should give up on private meets, but if you judge a telephone conversation as to how likely the couple are to show, then there are pitfalls, often the couples believe they will turn up, so its difficult to assess the situation clearly..of course its true that last minute hitches can scupper plans too, but as with party invites, if the statistics are to be believed, then such events have more than their fair share of last minute disasters
hi jef---- on the subject of time wasters dont get disheatened or take it personally were a normal genuine couple lookinking to meet new people and have a laugh along the way 
but we too have fallen foul of the dreaded time wasters but not to worry although annoying its probably just as well we didnt get involved with people like that . there are loads of genuine reasons why people cant make a meet but why not just let the other party know where they stand !!!!!! nuf said .
anyway we dont think its just time wasters that are without manners what about the bloody idiots who insist on driving into a dogging area with headlights full on whats that all about ?? all these cretins seem to do is get up peoples backs .
then you have the japenese sniper brigade as soon as you stop you have half a dozen faces glued to the glass hehe like bugs on a windscreen in summer .
we could go on for ages but finally there is the wierdo who when he gets a show and a little bit of involvement they then insist on following you about everywhere why not just go their separate way and just be be happy they struck lucky .we are sure others must have come across all of the above how do you guys .......and girls deal with these people ??????????? sorry to dribble on but its quite fun once you start. bye xx
but we too have fallen foul of the dreaded time wasters but not to worry although annoying its probably just as well we didnt get involved with people like that . there are loads of genuine reasons why people cant make a meet but why not just let the other party know where they stand !!!!!! nuf said .anyway we dont think its just time wasters that are without manners what about the bloody idiots who insist on driving into a dogging area with headlights full on whats that all about ?? all these cretins seem to do is get up peoples backs .
then you have the japenese sniper brigade as soon as you stop you have half a dozen faces glued to the glass hehe like bugs on a windscreen in summer .
we could go on for ages but finally there is the wierdo who when he gets a show and a little bit of involvement they then insist on following you about everywhere why not just go their separate way and just be be happy they struck lucky .we are sure others must have come across all of the above how do you guys .......and girls deal with these people ??????????? sorry to dribble on but its quite fun once you start. bye xx
the last girl i was seeing was a prime example of this, she loved the idea of it and that she could get people interested but when it came down to it thats all she wanted. just the fact that it could have happened and she chose for it not to. fortunately it never got beyond the e-mail stage with people so no one was spending hours in a freezing carpark.
Quote by Silk and Big G
Dont organise , improvise .
The problem with improvising, particulalrly if you're a man dogging on his own, is that it is a very hit and miss business. You can spend hours waiting around in the hope that a couple might turn up, but no one does - or a couple do and then proceed to have a flaming row in their car.
Unprogrammed dogging is so time consuming and so hit and miss, but sometimes you get lucky and then it's hit and Mrs.
