Due to timewasters and people messaging us regular doggers with just winks and no face , tit or leg pics attached ,can you please ensure that you read the whole ad before replying .Those obviously not reading the following and trying to message me without meeting all the criteria will not be responded to and will be deleted.
Thursdays and thursday nights are 'Brunnettes only' dogging nights in Derby. The regulars give plenty of notice and it isnt rocket science to ask and find out, but some blondes and redheads still try and sneek into the car parks late at night expecting attention.
Please learn to respect and follow the rules. This is two days early and those travelling in excess of 200 miles hoping to put on a show will be sorely dissapointed if criteria isnt met.
Underarms shaved
teeth cleaned. we like to know that sucking will leave a cock, minty fresh.
no holes in stockings.
Dont be too demanding and lean over the car bonnet only when asked.
Remember to bring condoms (you wouldnt believe the amount of new couples who forget)
If you flash your lights you will be ignored! One simple internal light flicker is all that is will endeavour to get to you in turn, however rushing us will result in us walking away and discussing football results and it will be very unlikely that you would be invited back.
P.S. For those who need is Blonde night (sizes 8 to 12 only).
Seasons greetings
matt,jack,john,jim,ferret fred,phil,scrag,bill,and one eyed alf.
Errrr... I know you're "ooppp narthhh" and all that, but it WAS agreed by the dogging council of England, Wales and Northern Ireland that Tuesday night was BLOND night.
I realise that it may take a while for it to "penetrate" to the farthest reaches....
And how IS one-eyed Alf now ?
I heard he'd taken a fall and was now being referred to as "Half-arsed-one-eyed-Alf"
ah...we changed it
blondes get tues and weds....saturdays are boy racer specials(shoot three and you win a goldfish)
and one eyed alf sends his best jomu....you must come on up and join us some time soon as beds is so quiet
not on thursdays tho...too busy...(wink)
Funniest thread for ages!
Damn and blast it all. I am just so unsure of where I fit into this criteria. I am blonde ish! But it is out of a bottle and would normally be mousey brown. I am not quite a 12 but a passable size 14. We do always wait our turn and honestly dont flash our headlights at anyone. Perhaps you could advise the best night for us to go out. We have tried Friday and Saturday nights but it always seems that we dont quite get it right. Never anyone about apart from us and obviously the men feel a bit sorry for us and watch us just to make us feel a bit better. So do I qualify for Tuesday night or Thursday night. If the answer is neither then perhaps you could suggest the best night for us so that we can wait our turn and do this dogging thing in the correct manner.
Also could you please advise the new address for the Membership Secretary of the Group of National Associations of Doggers (GONADS for short) so that we can renew our membership and recieve our monthly mag. Our previous application appears to have been lost in the post.
Many thanks for your assistance
Helen and the Medic xXx
Feck it Im shaving Silkys head , and we'll go out with the suitable wig :shock:
Sorry Helen, we just cant help you.
Farmer Colin and 'letmelickit' lillian both look after the membership and rules are rules regards bottle blondes. No jumping the queue. Tuesday or wednesdays only
Jim assures me that all the membership mags are gone but he may have a soiled copy in his boot and will check later.
And to quosh the stupid rumours flying around. NOOOOOOOOO. there will not be a band playing and free bar on new years ever. Its a f****** car park for gods sake!
OMG, i can't believe i know you!
What days am i allowed to come????
Hi matt.
I know we have strict guide lines and i promised to honour the Derby Ogle Group Society (DOGS) for short codes of practice
.
But i have a confession to make, the other night when there was a blonde in car on my left and a a red head in the other car on my right .............................Yeah i did succumb to temptation and dropped my guard and took a peep.
To be honest it became more than a peep, when the window came down my arm was seen to disappear through the aperture and have a play.
Not only that On seeing this the Red head got out her car tears streaming down her face and on one knee begged me to pay her the same attention.
You have to understand shed come all the way from Aberdeen just for the privilege, so how could one be so cold hearted not to oblige
So with this confession i hope i will not be black balled at DOGs next meeting
Could all couples please note:
For women to fit within accepted guidelines for brunette, blonde and redhead the hair MUST contain at least 90% of the given colour.
Brunettes with blond/purple/red streaking will only be acceptable if their colour is within accepted limits.
Blondes are only aceptable if their colour is % pure, streaking is not an option as the purity of the breed has to be maintained.
Redheads can do what they like, I'm not going to dare to limit their actions. I married one, I know the risks.
NEWS RELEASE, FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION: ALL ASSOCIATED DOGGING GROUPS AND INTERNATIONAL AFFILIATES.
Following the decisions above, all groups and meeting must have a member qualified to decide the colour of hair that females participants are displaying (that day).
This may mean the member having to decide the true colour by inspecting hair other than that on the head.
Sampling and other issues
This hair colour malarkey may be confusing new couples.
Its quite simple and nothing to really be worried about.
Firstly the sandwich board at the gate entrance normally lets you know instantly what night/hair colur/size/ shape and fetish is allocated to that car park on the given night
The ettiquette may differ among OGLE or GONAD groups, but we derby folk like to ensure that decorum and manners are observed at all times.
You drive in, park up (as near as poss please as we dont like to walk too far), one of us approaches and presses his nose up to the window whilst shouting "window down", and to make you feel completely at ease we normally lean right into the window and say something along the lines of "eh up me duck, i need a sample" and to make it feel slightly flirty and fun yet not too pushy, perhaps give her a welcoming grope, whilst politely looking at hubby and asking him what the football results were tonight, We find it breaks the ice.
Ahem. For those who havnt read the beginning of this thread. ITS THURSDAY!
Well met mattius and yes the first thread i read upon my return is yours. I must agree with the others very funny and a great way to come back to SH.
We also happen to know that you have a soft spot for certain brunnets.
the shads.
ouch...(holds heart)
the above couple have a free pass any night of the week, regardless of hair colour
thanks to all the regulars for making this a fun thread, (i can imagine some of the mods had to reread the opening thread twice to check the intention) but its prob gone on a little tooooooooo long and after this week i may delete it
To any newcomers, im sure you took it as meant...lightearted and a complete opening 'poke' at the way some of the private ads are appearing of late.
have fun and get over to Derby sometime soon
Mattius
can i ask for clarifaction on the "brunette" thing please.....
when you say brown hair.... does that mean both "on top" and "below"......
yours sincerely...
"apprentice dogger of tyneside - Currently Mentored by Mrs NWC" (long-distance course)
p.s I don't know many black people with brown hair...... which night do i come??????
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
