Dogging recession started months ago. Derby seemed to have led the way and it finally came to a head the other night when one guy said 'when was the last show?'. - and nobody could remember. there was a muttering about ' september 2007' but no one could be absolutely sure.
Naturally we havnt been totally at a loss for fun. Intelligent thought provoking conversations with police still prevail, boy racers perform figures of eight to keep us amused followed by the obligatory headlight flashing is still something to be savoured every night and there is always the radio , but lately the shuffling of feet, the sighs, and the monotonous repetition of 'its a single' are wearing us down.
So, we are reaching out, searching the land for a couple. A couple who would be prepared to travel to derby and do something as mundane as stick a leg out the window as they drove through the area. We literally are that desperate.
Size, shape, age, creed, colour are not important as long as one member of the car is actually anywhere - north, south, edinburgh, isle of white, shetland. We are happy to make welcome and put the banners out for any couple from any part (except nottingham). All we need is one couple to take us into their hearts and drive our way.
To this end we are prepared to offer prizes and remuneration. sort of like a tombola to welcome you to the area and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for driving past.
From the generosity of the regular doggers we have already clubbed together and gathered - three bensons, half a packet of mints,magazines and assorted pens and enough spare change to buy you a coffee and two straws.
We need a couple
we need to believe again
We need help
can i extend the invite to include Doncaster!!!! Derby must have rubbed off on Doncaster cos its exactly the same here. I am sure we could rustle up a few rewards also!!! Maybe a bit better rewards than what is being offered in Derby, like a half eaten McDonalds and i am sure we can get to half a dozen bensons. Maybe even if coming from North call in Doncaster, give us a nice show, collect your rewards and carry on to Derby, that way you'd get double the rewards!!!!.
On the boy racer note.....wish one would flip one or burst a tyre whilst they at it, now that would break some ice and give us a better laugh
You may have problems if the couple are younger than 18.
The sexual offences act 2003 (sec:47) makes it an offence to pay a person under 18 for sex (later-on, it also mentions that the provision of goods or services to procure sex is also an offence)
:!:
the last couple to come into "my" layby got followed out by 3 cars. They never returned (as promised).
Oh well, the weather's getting better...off to the beach anyone (Norfolk) ?
I dont think this applies to voyeurism though JT :-) and as we all know, no one expects more than that as a matter of course
I have just realised that thoughout the opening part of this thread i kept referring to 'we'...we want....we would etc....as in a group of us...and surprisingly this hasnt been picked up by the moderators!!!
I would like to clarify that we..(all 417 of us) are verified members of swingingheaven
(picks up one of the three bensons and chuffs it whilst smirking)
No surprise to see (from above) that the Derby curse is alive and kicking. No sooner than seconds after getting an offer of a van load of geordie hot totty, does some doncaster scallywag reroute them.
sigh
i dont remember saying that ! :shock:
if he takes you out again, just repeat 'theres no place like home' over and over and click your heels together three times. You are wearing heels I take it .
Oh God no! I cant manage that level of responsibility darling !
Well unless you are waaaaaaaaaay more camp than you appear you wont be able to carry off the flowery floaty summer dresses that will start appearing on the carpark catwalks in a month or so.
Im just trying to protect you from a disappointment of Zoolander proportions
From the little of Matt that I know he is an amusing and well weathered individual that would not mind at all. Even if your presumptions were correct.
Of course there is always the fact that I wouldnt really care anyway
Ah I aint that smart really. OMG maybe im homophobic !!! :shock:
That's it exactly I'm a hiding a lifelong subconscious fear of revealing that in my true persona I am terrified that my children will one day put me in a home.
ummmmmmm...'straight as a die' Matt here....sorry to interupt on my own thread but you girls seem to be missing the point of our derby dilemna
is anyone going to offer a van of sugarbabes or pussycat dolls...we may as well make a party of it
Yes, I know it encourages them but we've got to have some form of payback for endless ruined evenings... :twisted: 
Did our hearts good i can tell you.
What's more it's also very obvious that (at least!) half of the Pussycat Dolls were/are men.. oh but then that brings us back full circle to Dogging sites late at night again... :rascal: