Hi.
Young male wants to meet young women, young couples, for fun
Age not important, but must be not important but must have been turned-down for page three because too good looking.
Would prefer a virgin (essex girls excepted) but not too fussy because I ain't had a shag for weeks.
Like to watch, or join in, but anything would be better than another night in the pub.
And I'm broke so it's out anyway.
Need a list of active sites because I can't figure out menoooss and reading ain't my strong point.
Please only sites within 5 miles of home, but Pillocks Park is out because the wife shags her boyfriend there most nights.
Can't stand gays, all these nonces and tossers piss me off as well....ain't there any sites where only normal guys are ?
Tried Turd Park but too many guys there waiting, so need a site with two or three couples in and no other guys.
I hope you all don't mind but I can't be bothered to wait, so if you drive in I'll be at your door before the motors off, because with all these other guys about it's best to be first at the window.
I'm:
Clean (been in the car for a day and can't afford deodorant or wipes)
Young (well, about 55+)
Slightly shy (scared of the dark)
Will respect all boundaries (need a shag now and ain't got a clue anyway)
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Desperate.
So ?
Would this post turn your stomach (females answer this)
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Would this post turn your stomach (males answer this)
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Would this post turn you on ?
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17 votes
Excellent, Jomu! 
:lol:
Although it's a little dressed up, in places you can't tell the difference between it and every other ad we get on here. And if you think that's not so, only tonight someone PMd me asking for Dogging locales and advice... like it isn't already fucking in front of their eyes!
If only guys would listen to you, Jomu....
:lol: Although it's a little dressed up, in places you can't tell the difference between it and every other ad we get on here. And if you think that's not so, only tonight someone PMd me asking for Dogging locales and advice... like it isn't already fucking in front of their eyes!
If only guys would listen to you, Jomu....
Jomu,
I am surprised that the server has not crashed under the immense strain of young women replying to your ad.
Your opening line sums you up perfectly, DESPERATE. If you bothered to take the time to read other peoples ads you will notice that there is endless advice on how to write an ad that may get you some attention.
Your statement of ‘Can't stand gays…………………. ain't there any sites where only normal guys are?’ shows what a sensitive modern man you are, there is no hint of any extreme homophobia.
If you think you are one of the so-called normal guys then I dread to think what your definition of strange or weird would be.
Also I do mind and I am sure others would take offence if you were ‘at the door before the motors off’.
There is so much more I could say but then it would spoil the fun for anybody else that has the time to ridicule you.
I am surprised that the server has not crashed under the immense strain of young women replying to your ad.
Your opening line sums you up perfectly, DESPERATE. If you bothered to take the time to read other peoples ads you will notice that there is endless advice on how to write an ad that may get you some attention.
Your statement of ‘Can't stand gays…………………. ain't there any sites where only normal guys are?’ shows what a sensitive modern man you are, there is no hint of any extreme homophobia.
If you think you are one of the so-called normal guys then I dread to think what your definition of strange or weird would be.
Also I do mind and I am sure others would take offence if you were ‘at the door before the motors off’.
There is so much more I could say but then it would spoil the fun for anybody else that has the time to ridicule you.
Sorry to hear you think my "ad" is unlikely to attract women.
Sad to see that you are unable to appreciate satire
Just try.
And then look at your uninformed reaction, and go back along various other postings and think
Oh, and I had a VERY good time on Saturday night watching a young couple (M/F) enjoying themselves in the drivers seat, while another young couple (F/F) also enjoyed themselves in the passenger seat of the same vehicle. The police also enjoyed themselves with a quick look before going.
Very enjoyable. And I never "ad" for anything, I either find it myself or I don't have it.
Sad to see that you are unable to appreciate satire
Just try.
And then look at your uninformed reaction, and go back along various other postings and think
Oh, and I had a VERY good time on Saturday night watching a young couple (M/F) enjoying themselves in the drivers seat, while another young couple (F/F) also enjoyed themselves in the passenger seat of the same vehicle. The police also enjoyed themselves with a quick look before going.
Very enjoyable. And I never "ad" for anything, I either find it myself or I don't have it.
As a woman, i found that quite funny, and as a YOUNG woman, the bit about not being able to afford the pub was VERY true!! (shoes and clothes being more important, lol!!!) and Daz agrees with most of it as well, and is still trying to wipe the grin from his face, we both find it very humorous! So well done on making us both giggle!!!
Mod
Rudolf
If there has ever been a case of shooting yourself in the foot, this HAS to be it!
The dogging guidelines were written by Jomu. He is probably one of the most knowledgable doggers on the Site. He has forgotten more about dogging than you will ever know. He knows how to 'dog' properly and probably has more success than anyone else I know.
I think another look at his post, then your own, might be in order.
Happy Dogging!!
Mal
If there has ever been a case of shooting yourself in the foot, this HAS to be it!
The dogging guidelines were written by Jomu. He is probably one of the most knowledgable doggers on the Site. He has forgotten more about dogging than you will ever know. He knows how to 'dog' properly and probably has more success than anyone else I know.
I think another look at his post, then your own, might be in order.
Happy Dogging!!
Mal
I'm just a good listener, and looker.
I sit in car parks (etc) and look at the other guys...which gives me endless ideas about how NOT to go about it.
For instance, you DON'T drive up to the front of a large van and then stick your lights on high beam. Not without ensuring you have a view of the SIDE door...otherwise you end-up with several dope-smokers standing at your door staring at you. Exit, fast.
You DON'T run away from a show when the law come in...(well, you can if you're standing near me...I'll just watch them)
You DON'T drive out fast in the same circumstances...otherwise it'll be "blue-and-twos" time.
You DON'T dogg cars with asian guys in, they have NO sense of humour, little sense at all really, and they can run faster than most.
Dogging a police station car park is definitely a no-no, again, no sense of humour.
Approaching a car from the front, head on, is likely to make you known in A&E if it isn't a show couple.
really, it isn't advice some people need. It's a good large dose of common sense.
Sadly, it's lacking in the new breed.
I sit in car parks (etc) and look at the other guys...which gives me endless ideas about how NOT to go about it.
For instance, you DON'T drive up to the front of a large van and then stick your lights on high beam. Not without ensuring you have a view of the SIDE door...otherwise you end-up with several dope-smokers standing at your door staring at you. Exit, fast.
You DON'T run away from a show when the law come in...(well, you can if you're standing near me...I'll just watch them)
You DON'T drive out fast in the same circumstances...otherwise it'll be "blue-and-twos" time.
You DON'T dogg cars with asian guys in, they have NO sense of humour, little sense at all really, and they can run faster than most.
Dogging a police station car park is definitely a no-no, again, no sense of humour.
Approaching a car from the front, head on, is likely to make you known in A&E if it isn't a show couple.
really, it isn't advice some people need. It's a good large dose of common sense.
Sadly, it's lacking in the new breed.
I should take my own advice and read more of the other postings before having a pop. 
Sexlightened
We know plenty of Asian guys with a sense of humour..
What seems to be your problem?
What seems to be your problem?
Sexlightened
I can't believe you can tell us to lighten up, haven't seen many of your posts which haven't been moaning and complaining about something or other.
We shall remember not to walk past any 'Asians' cars at night then.
We shall remember not to walk past any 'Asians' cars at night then.
Warming the Bed
Brilliantly funny Jomu.
Satire and sarcasm for all of those who can appreciate it (and tough luck on those that took it serously! LoL)
If only you'd posted it on April 1st!!!!!!
Jay
Satire and sarcasm for all of those who can appreciate it (and tough luck on those that took it serously! LoL)
If only you'd posted it on April 1st!!!!!!
Jay
Please everyone, that is.
Sorry you didn't like my asian comment.
I have great admiration for asian guys. Alone among the car-sex fraternity, they think nothing, when they see someone watching them, of jumping out of the car and chasing the hapless dogger, usually trouserless.
The least they do is to use the car like a tank and chase the guy around the car park. Great fun watching.
Although asian guys and gals rarely seem to have sex in cars. Must be a moral there somewhere.
Yes, I moan a lot. And why not, there's plenty of time when I'm dead to not moan (?)(!)
Sorry you didn't like my asian comment.
I have great admiration for asian guys. Alone among the car-sex fraternity, they think nothing, when they see someone watching them, of jumping out of the car and chasing the hapless dogger, usually trouserless.
The least they do is to use the car like a tank and chase the guy around the car park. Great fun watching.
Although asian guys and gals rarely seem to have sex in cars. Must be a moral there somewhere.
Yes, I moan a lot. And why not, there's plenty of time when I'm dead to not moan (?)(!)
