Hi everybody,
This will be my last posting on SH . . . I have decided this isn’t for me. This has been a growing realisation over the last couple of weeks but I finally came to the decision on Saturday night. I had gone to meet up with a couple for a dogging meet. I had spent over a hour driving to the location, when I got there because I didn’t know the area from the info I had it was really not clear which car park we were supposed to meet in as there were a few in the area matching the description. I waited in the car park that I thought was the right one for about half an hour and was wondering whether to try one of the other car parks or just go home when all of a sudden a police van arrived. Three policemen got out with torches and first went to the other car in the car park then came over to me. They wanted to know what I was doing. I managed to come up with some feeble excuse of having a row with my girlfriend and needing to get out of the house. This seemed to satisfy them and they went away, but afterwards I began to feel like some sort of pervert and decided I just wanted to go home. Driving home I began to think about why I was doing this, the answer I guess is obvious - for a sexual turn on. I also began to ask myself how I would feel if anybody found if I was doing this sort of thing?, would I really be doing this if I was in happy relationship?, would I really want any potential girlfriend to know I did this? – the answer is a pretty clear no. Over the last month I've spent many hours trying to establish contact with couples to arrange dogging meets, placing ads, replying to countless ads on SH and chatting to people on MSN, all to achieve something that in reality I didn’t want in the first place. This is not intended to have a go at everybody here, I believe in each to his or her own and live and let live . . . If people get something from this that is fine I have no problem with that and wish them well, but personally it just makes me feel sad and make me realise what I really want is to be in a proper relationship once again. Good luck everybody, have fun and take care.
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Goodbye (a realisation).
Orgasminator
adiose amigo, think of all the tv you can watch now, the lack of running noses and the money youll save in flasks of coffe not to mention fuel and wear and tear on the tyres
good luck
good luck
Sex God
Good luck with whatever you choose to do in the future.... you could always try swinging indoors, it's not nearly so pervy (or is it :twisted: )!!!!
Well done mate . . . I know this post will probably get me loads of stick, maybe even deleted as its not exactly the sort of positive post they want on SH I'm sure, but . . . good luck to you, go get a life!, sitting around in dark carparks late at night sure isn't much of a life that's for sure!. I know this does not apply to everybody but I sometimes think there are a lot of very sad and lonely people on here, (maybe I'm one of them) certainly when I look at the single guys ads I think this, all looking for something and something that they are not going to find in a quick shag in a dark carpark! - sorry but its true. 
I get plenty of quick shags in car parks, thanks! :twisted:
But each to their own... personally, i think the only sad thing is staying with someone you hate because society and guilt say you should. Casual and anonymous sex enhances my relationship. When I've been had every which way but lose over the bonnet of a car, I have a yen to get inside my guy's trousers and claim him all over again... :twisted: :twisted:
But each to their own... personally, i think the only sad thing is staying with someone you hate because society and guilt say you should. Casual and anonymous sex enhances my relationship. When I've been had every which way but lose over the bonnet of a car, I have a yen to get inside my guy's trousers and claim him all over again... :twisted: :twisted:
This is a real shame as I have had a few PM conversations with Jaffaman and he seems a real genuine chap - from my area too.
I can't work out the police stance - on the one hand they are going in all guns blazing - the next they are posting on here reassuring everyone that they don't want to lock all swingers and doggers up!
It is probably a good thing that Jaffaman has taken this as a prompt to realise that this is not really what he wants and I wish him luck in finding what he does want. I thought I had - but then the sex stopped! (but the love is still there - difficult situation)
All the best Jaffa
I can't work out the police stance - on the one hand they are going in all guns blazing - the next they are posting on here reassuring everyone that they don't want to lock all swingers and doggers up!
It is probably a good thing that Jaffaman has taken this as a prompt to realise that this is not really what he wants and I wish him luck in finding what he does want. I thought I had - but then the sex stopped! (but the love is still there - difficult situation)
All the best Jaffa
Whilst its a shame that jaffaman didnt find what he was looking for, I for one wish him all the best. Its not easy to examine the real reasons why u feel something, and it would have been easy for him to come up with the 'no one here goes doggin' excuse to stop, but no, he has really thought it through, and it makes sense !
oo arh...must be carefull, i may talk my self into stopping aswell !
Just remember, even though its not for you, you at least tried it. You didnt sit at home and rubbish it or think it was an easy ticket.
Good luck !!
Paul
oo arh...must be carefull, i may talk my self into stopping aswell !
Just remember, even though its not for you, you at least tried it. You didnt sit at home and rubbish it or think it was an easy ticket.
Good luck !!
Paul
What a brave and honest posting from Jaffaman, I'm from the same neck of the woods and do sympthise, I've met some great couples over the years, on this and other sites, and generally you've just got to keep plugging away, I'm not sure it matters whether its dogging, threesome or gangbangs, it will happen probably when you least expect it. Take a look at the DD site and get along one of Jacky's 'get togethers' in Cov, not too far from us, and you'll think those chilly car parks are a million miles away!
Incidentally then, anyone in Northants considering a small gang can see here are a quite a few, normal, horny blokes here (well almost!) you could do a lot worse eh?
Incidentally then, anyone in Northants considering a small gang can see here are a quite a few, normal, horny blokes here (well almost!) you could do a lot worse eh?
i dont think the police can do much to be honest anyone can sit in a car park there just trying to scare people thats all ,ive been asked a few questions before by the police and i simply answer waiting for a shag and it sort of puts them off there guard.I can see your point thou jaffa all that, time, petrol, wear and tear i am thinking myself is a massage parlour cheaper and you know your going to get what you paid for, i am sure there is a good one local to you, i just like the thought of not paying for it and i dont mind the drive myself ,to be honest for a single guy to score on here is almost of unheard of i think i would do better down my local pub shagging all the women whos hubby is always on the piss, anyway its not all about shagging most people like to be watched and watched only which i am cool about ive seen a few couples at it without arranging a meet just at my local dogging spot but like as normal you get your morons turn up break windows etc... and they all leave and dont come back the doggers that is my local dogging area is almost gone now get the odd couple turn up if you sit there for hours ,well anyway best of luck jaffaman
Sex God
What a nice guy, good luck mate, and well done for making this honest decision.
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Sex God
Oh and Waterpistol, do u have one of those stickers that says, WHEN THE VANS A'ROCKING, DONT COME A'KNOCKING! LOL
Quote by Heather
I get plenty of quick shags in car parks, thanks! :twisted:
But each to their own... personally, i think the only sad thing is staying with someone you hate because society and guilt say you should. Casual and anonymous sex enhances my relationship. When I've been had every which way but lose over the bonnet of a car, I have a yen to get inside my guy's trousers and claim him all over again... :twisted: :twisted:
Heather, I rather think you missed my point, but I suspect that may be deliberate, but anyway . . .for a couple casual and sex with other partners, whether they be other couples or singles is ok if they are both comfortable with that, that is what swinging is really all about. What I was doing is looking at this from the singles point of view and I don't believe a quick thrill or sex in a dark carkpark is very fulfilling in the long run, you still drive home alone and still wake up alone in the morning. if you are ok with that great, but I would imagine not that many people are really deep down. I suspect this is what Jaffaman has come to realise. I would also guess that a high percentage of the single guys behind the hundreds and hundreds of ads on SH would also really prefer a serious relationship and I'm afraid they are very unlikely to find that on SH.
To clarify my own reasons for being here, - I'm here just for a little fun, I'm not looking for casual sex, I would eventually like to form another relationship but I know this is not the place to look for that.
Sexpert
At least you have made the decision.
I cant totally agree thats its a decision i ever want to make. If i had to sit in a car park for hours and never get any action then i would quit, but i go only when the pubs are shut, probably when there isnt anything worth watching on tv, meet plenty of doggers who are normal fun people, feel like some are good friends,and see a lot of action.
The beauty of the dogging subject is ...it isnt a members club...you can leave it for 6 months and pop in as and when you want.
I too get the thrill from something that feels illicit, uncomplicated and free.
I cant totally agree thats its a decision i ever want to make. If i had to sit in a car park for hours and never get any action then i would quit, but i go only when the pubs are shut, probably when there isnt anything worth watching on tv, meet plenty of doggers who are normal fun people, feel like some are good friends,and see a lot of action.
The beauty of the dogging subject is ...it isnt a members club...you can leave it for 6 months and pop in as and when you want.
I too get the thrill from something that feels illicit, uncomplicated and free.
I don't think Jaffaman really understood dogging anyway, loads still don't.
Hours doing nothing is par for the course, most doggers know that and can handle it.
It seems to me that most of the "new" guys in the game think it's a new way of meeting women, and that a useful relationship may happen. I don't know any that have yet, and most of the women in the game are "loved-up" anyway and use it as part of their sex life. The single guys are just there to be used to bolster the couples life, although many think they are necessary to the couple/woman. Single men can be found on any street corner.
It seems to me, reading his letter/s, that he is basically a lonely guy looking for something out of dogging that he hasn't got in his life. Most people in the game are transient, they change and new faces wander in, old ones disappear to re-appear months or years later.
If you come into this expecting to forge a social life out of it, or to find Ms Right, you're going to be disappointed.
I like being alone, most of the guys I know in the game are comfortable with the same. The ones who aren't, drive up and down all night, and sit with the lights on.
But, basically you're on your own, and to expect anything other than that is unrealistic.
Most of the couples who "show" will become full swingers, and move on to clubs or pack it in.
Anyway, if you're arranging a meet with anyone, don't go the route of ending in the wrong carpark. I use either streetmap or multimap to send place info as an attachment on the email.
Hours doing nothing is par for the course, most doggers know that and can handle it.
It seems to me that most of the "new" guys in the game think it's a new way of meeting women, and that a useful relationship may happen. I don't know any that have yet, and most of the women in the game are "loved-up" anyway and use it as part of their sex life. The single guys are just there to be used to bolster the couples life, although many think they are necessary to the couple/woman. Single men can be found on any street corner.
It seems to me, reading his letter/s, that he is basically a lonely guy looking for something out of dogging that he hasn't got in his life. Most people in the game are transient, they change and new faces wander in, old ones disappear to re-appear months or years later.
If you come into this expecting to forge a social life out of it, or to find Ms Right, you're going to be disappointed.
I like being alone, most of the guys I know in the game are comfortable with the same. The ones who aren't, drive up and down all night, and sit with the lights on.
But, basically you're on your own, and to expect anything other than that is unrealistic.
Most of the couples who "show" will become full swingers, and move on to clubs or pack it in.
Anyway, if you're arranging a meet with anyone, don't go the route of ending in the wrong carpark. I use either streetmap or multimap to send place info as an attachment on the email.
