I was driving home from being somewhere tonight and had to pass by a dogging site that seemed to have been closed down about a year ago (I never saw anything there anyway :cry: ), calculating I had five minutes to spare and still get to Tescos before it closed I pulled in and to my surprise the gate was open and a car parked up.
Stopped, waited got out, had a pee, walked towards car, this location is pitch black so couldnt see anything and no signs of life so went and drove up the top of the lane, back down and parked outside the entrance. A few minutes later a white van drives up the lane past me, I wait, it doesn't return, I walk back towards where this car is but it is sooo dark I can't even see it till I nearly bump into it. Back to my car and a car is driving up the road past me, I put my interior light on, it slows and goes past, I give it time to get ahead and follow it, I discover it has pulled over in a car park area I didn't know existed (my dogging life story!!), so I go up to the top to turn round and come back, the white van has disappeared into thin air
I get back and see what might be the entrance but is very rough with puddles and don't fancy it so I reverse back to where the road is wide enough for two vehicles and park up, scuttle up the short bank and see this car (A fiesta with at least two in it) with its lights on then, the interior light on, but as I am at 90 degrees to it I can't make out the occupants until a female voice shouts out, he is over there in a car. I decided to depart promptly but then foolishly pull over by the entrace to the first car park and wait, but with my engine on and the doors locked (Hurrah for central locking). After a couple of minutes this car comes down the road, I think about pulling out in front of it and taking off like a bat out of hell but foolishly wait. I wonder if it will ram me but it slows down and stops right next to me on my right, parallel to me but being smaller than my trusty Mondeo not as far forward, I dare not look round and make contact and sit waiting while truly pissing myself. The drivers door opened and the driver started to walk round the car, sensing my only chance to reach the age of 32 I accelerated bloody hard, feeling very pleased I had left the engine on and was soon doing about 6000 revs in first gear with no lights on down this one track potholed stoney road, I push my headlamps onto full beam but nothing, I realise turning the lights on first will help and I can see at last I look in my rearview mirror and I can make out in the clouds of my own dust the lights flying down behind me appearing to catch me. I push harder and heave through the gears getting upto 70 to 80 while thinking how the hell am I going to get round the 2nd gear right hand ninety degreer at the bottom of here, I couldn't see the bend but hoped I could remember it from the countless times last summer I drove down it. I dare not brake early for fear of being caught up, I braked hard, dropped into 2nd and slid round the bend then hard on the accelerator again, I take another nervous glance in my rearview mirror and seem to be outpacing it at last. I am glad my trusty 1800 16v Mondeo only has my nine stone weakling body to pull and can outpace a fiesta with three or four yoofs in, the girl of which was bound to be a peroxide blonde biffer. Taking no chances I slide through the chicane at the bottom, back to second to slide round roundabout and back on the A road I get upto 96mph as I head for home and safety. Fortunately they have given up the chase, which is just as well as I soon get stuck behind some idiot doing 34mph.
I am now at home ready to tell another tale while sipping at a very strong beer that postie tipped me off about and listening to Belinda Carlisle as I attempt to calm myself down.
Deffo not going there again.
This still makes it last August bank holiday since I had a good dogging trip :cry: :cry:
Regards
Harry Jones
harry knows what we look like single,
