hi folks' just wondering if anyone else has a hard look dogging story to tell like the one i am going to tell you? i was out one saturday night in one of my favorite durham sites i go to, and what you have to do is drive down this long track which is part of a farmers entrance' i think it was early jan or late dec anyway it was the weekend we had those high winds, i got there late about 10-10-30pm there was a couple of cars already there just single guys like me, anyway i parked up put my favorite u2 cd in and just waited and waited like you have to in this game and after awhile i remember looking at my watch and it was ten to twelve and bye this time everyone else had got sick and left so i gave it another ten minutes then i decided to leave but when i got to the top of the track to my total horror a bloody great tree had been felled by the wind straight across the entrance to the track i could'nt believe it i got out of my car and looked to see if i could somehow get round it but it was hopless' i had two options stay in the car or hitchhike down the a19 to teeside where i live which is 15 to 20 miles away i decided on the latter because even though i knew it was a farmers entrance i did'nt know if he would move it straight away or he had another exit from the farm so i drove the car back down the track as far as i could and started to hitchhike home and after about an hour i was picked up and dropped off about a mile away from home by a young couple coming back from a party and i eventually got home about 2 oclock. and the next day i got a friend to drop me off about 300 yards away from site with the excuse that i was knocking someone off on the housing estate nearby and i will get a lift back, it was 4 o clock by now and luckily thank god the farmer had moved it and i went to collect the car only to find it caked in mud all over i dont know if it had come from the farmers tracktor or if he had threw it on or if indeed it was the farmer i was just glad it was over and got out there fast , it has'nt put me off going to the site in fact i will be there tomorrow night BUT NOT IF ITS WINDY.
last night I was trying a new spot that somebody had mentioned to me, actually its a part of a golf club.
I arrived, drove around following the directions, turned left as I should do
glug ... in mud to the hubs.
45 minutes later I have given up trying to get the car out the swamp its now in and as my mobile has no credits on it I start walking to find a phone. 15 minutes and 1 mile later I remember that I left the breakdown service card in the car, about face walk back and get it.
Eventually I arrive at a housethat has both a phone and last on to show that the owners are still awake (its now 00:30) and they let me use their fone to call the breakdown service, 02:15 they arrive at the crossroads I gave as the meeting spot, by now I have been stood out in open country, wet thru and with mud to the knees for almost 2 hours so yeah I am bloody frozen.
We gets back to the car, he gets the winch all set to haul me out and then drops the bombshell that there is going to be a + V.A.T. winching charge .................... can it get any worse I wondered
Lucky for me the breakdown cover I had chose did cover the charge
If you have gone to play a game of golf today and find your fairway chruned up to hell and back....it wasnt me, it was him ---------->>
ouch.......... well at least my dilemma did'nt cost me'
nightmare situation, had to laugh though, sorry..nothing quite as dramatic for us i'm afraid, but did have one of those gut wrenching moments early in our career, when we felt our world collapsing.
we had recently aquired another vehicle, a jap import with no owners manual, well, who needs instructions to drive a car? anyway, we arrived at a site, reached by a long dirt track, culminating in a forest clearing. the regulars assumed we were new kids on the block, so we hit the interior light. obviously this had two effects. first the carpark half emptied as the penny dropped, and the locals went in persuit of fresh flange, second, every other dogger in a five mile radius thought "game on". we started to have a little play, but within five minutes a couple of guys were banging on the window, "are you involving others mate"?, "no, sorry boys, its just a show",. the guys looked a little agrivated at this, before one said, "oh well, better than nothing i suppose". needless to say, mrs dirty was a little pissed off, and not wanting to inconvenience the gentlemen further, asked me to relocate.
you know what i'm going to say, i turned the key, nothing, not a sausage, not that i was expecting one of course. now every couple here, would at sometime thought about, or experienced this dillema. there you are, gone midnight, in the wilds and surrounded by lust fuelled doggers. great situation when you know you have the option to leave should things take a turn, quite something else when the choice is denied you. so, in a scene reminiscent of an eighteen century exploration drama, where the natives realise the great white sea captain hasn't got magical powers after all, the savages moved in for the kill."i'll give you a jump for a jump luv" said the first, followed by taunts of "we'll sort you out luv, i'm a very nice man, a very very nice man" ooh dear, things were looking grim, of all the times to happen, just when the venue was teeming with arseholes, none of which we recognised, and not a regular in sight, not even a signal on my phone, bugger.
then things took a turn. in my haste to park, i'd inadvertently left the vehicle in drive. if i placed the selector in park, would it make any difference i wondered? i tried, and it did, what a bloody relief, but it does make you think..
"nightmare :shock:.. .. i have been to a site where there has been about 10 to 12 men trying to get round one car, and i felt intimadated so i can imagine you where.
ah yes we know where to go now reddog we might be there tomorrow night after 1030
by the time I had made it home I was laughing about the incident myself
the old saying is that " Shit Happens " and yes its true, but laugh about it as well and life dont seem quite so bad
FFS Mr D all automatics do that !! Not just the Japs . LOLOL
We once had an iinteresting days fun at Sandwell Valley . Being members of a picture sharing site at the time ( now defunct sadly ) we had numerous moans that our showing adventures confined themslevs tothe southern part of the country .
Silky had a family errand in the frozen wastes of Lancashire and so as it was fine sunny weather we decided that since we would be going up the motorway and passing within a doggers orgasm of Sandwell , we would pop in and sample the delights therein .
We arrived after our customary circling the area and several hours of "wasnt that a sign for a country park?" and having negotiated the special humps in the entrance ( designed to admit nothing longer than a mini with the bumpers removed) drove to the far end of the large carpark ( near the entrance to the lakes for those of you that know it ) parked facing out and waited for the busy families and dog walkers to subside .
It was basting hot , and even Silky wearing an attention drawing thin summer mini dress was warm , my jeans and t-shirt meant and proper sweat on situation for me.
Anyway we arent feint hearted so sat back opened all the windows to see what occured .
Soon we were joined by the local dogging fraternity . To the left a small impossibly spoiler bound Vauxhall Nova containing four teenage Ragga fans set about providing the musical part of the entertainment as loud as their Halfords discount speakers would allow, whilst interspersing with loud comments on the shortness of Silks dress and less audible Jamaican comments on what it was they assumed she wanted . Meanwhile to the right a car bearing some six Asian fellas ( Nissan of course) pulled up near enough to make opening the door more than a fag papers width impossible and proceeded to stare Penfoldlike , almost steaming up their windows even in that heat . Immediately to their right three nondescript cars parked with a small group of oldish men in cardigans ( one actually wearing slippers!!) gathered beside them mumbling to themselves and doing the patent 'occasional sideway glance' technique.
Well to be honest the crowd wasnt to our taste , call us fussy if ya like but the mix was just a trifle too eclectic . Coupled with the heat and the surprisingly busy park ( so many non doggers) we decided we'd give it a miss . So much like Mr D in the earlier story I turned the key and was rewarded with a healthy CLICK and nowt else . Horror , having fiddled with the key a bit i did get a slow engine turning over sound , which i tried a few times which resulted in a few giggles and jeers from the Nova wankers but nothing from the engine bay .
I now did what all self respecting men would , I got out opened the bonet and leaned in and had a got look round for .......................well fuck knows what i was looking for ! Those of you who have seen our site and pictures know that I drive an ancient and venerated old Jaguar . I can tell you how best to improve the paint finish , how to restore the leather , how to polish the walnut veneer and how to get the chrome looking fucking sexy , but open the bonnet and all I see is a great big fucking monster of an engine thingy.
By now Silky is getting very very warm and shes out of the car seeing if she can help . This leads to the Asian Penfolds feeling the need to open their windows and lean out while staring , eyes virtually stuck to the top of her thighs . Fortunately the Nova crew are on their second joint and so are losing interest , and the old cardigan fellas are actually audibly losing patience at our lack of show and looking pointedly at their timex's in an exagerated way. I give up and call the AA , two and a half hours later ( during which the Penfolds used twenty gallons of petrol driving round the carpark and parking back next to us again and again ) the AA man turns up . Hes a lovely old fella who admires the car and proceeds to tell the history of Jaguar before starting any work .
Meanwhile the various flavoured doggers are actually attempting to dog Silky while she lies down in the car trying to get cool ( this is the same car with the bonnet up and an AA man under the bonnet mind! ) . Theyre doing the subtle walk stright up to the window and lean on the car while thyey stare in technique .
Another hour and a half later the AA man (having filled me in on the finer points of the flat spade connector versus bullet wire holder debate) finally gets the car started and we set off clutching a bag full of fuses to apply to the temporary repair he had applied , involving some twenty feet of multi colured wire wrapped around my feet in the footwell ( apparently he'd bypassed something or other) and limped the rest of the way back to civilisation , by changing a fuse every ten miles or so .
Id like to thank the doggers of Sandwell for all their help on the day . Apart from the one guy who looked like Smashy ( from Smashy and Nicey the DJ's) who was in the white Celica , and gave us directions back to the motorway by the fastest route humanly possible , you all gave us a lasting imprssion of Sandwell Valley that probably unfairly means we wont be likely to visit any time soon .
Peace G
that was the best dogging thats ever happened there.....lol. they are still up there waiting for an encore!
:wink: but he had nothing to bark at....if you know what i mean?
