Every newbie has to start somewhere right....
I have read various bits and pieces, but some questions remain unanswered for me. As safe play and etiquette are critical (plus a desparate longing not to look/feel a pratt), anyone willing to provide a little further education to a newbie would be greatly appreciated!
I envisage two scenarios. First is pulling up at a local meeting point (unarranged) with no one in the car park. Let's say a couple pull into car park and park further away. Practical issues of darkness and the horrible embarassment of an innocent couple selecting the wrong car park to get all hot and sweaty, what are the signals to approach the car? I know I have repeatedly read the flashing of interior lights etc. but unless I have misread, this is a signal to draw closer, not necessarily one to get the ball rolling so to speak? What do doggers do? Just get out of the car and slowly start to walk over? Wait for a signal of somekind? How do things usually get started?
Second scenario is I am slightly confused about is if there are many doggers there! Am I actually reading this right that some couples may have many males, all strangers to each other, outside the car watching?
Apologies in advance for the ignorance...
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newbie questions
As fellow nebies, totally understand what you mean. There is good advice on Etiquette on this site if you look through all the sections or search using a keyword.
That said advise from experience people goes so much futher than enything that can be posted in an advise secdtion. Some extra info through pm's would definatlely be helpful and much appreciated.
That said advise from experience people goes so much futher than enything that can be posted in an advise secdtion. Some extra info through pm's would definatlely be helpful and much appreciated.
Sexpert
actually, you seem to be grasping the ettiquette failry well!!...
just give them space until invited...getting out of your car so they can see who you are often helps...and just read the signals from there...
bottom line is...if they like and they want to show...they will...if they dont..they wont....there is never a good reason to be pushy
have fun and enjoy
just give them space until invited...getting out of your car so they can see who you are often helps...and just read the signals from there...
bottom line is...if they like and they want to show...they will...if they dont..they wont....there is never a good reason to be pushy
have fun and enjoy
Quote by mattius
actually, you seem to be grasping the ettiquette failry well!!...
just give them space until invited...getting out of your car so they can see who you are often helps...and just read the signals from there...
bottom line is...if they like and they want to show...they will...if they dont..they wont....there is never a good reason to be pushy
have fun and enjoy
i agree. and if your a couple going dogging take condoms with you, its amazing how many men dont think of taking any with them.
and talk to the couples they will gladly give you advice.
and most off all have fun
/quote]
i agree. and if your a couple going dogging take condoms with you, its amazing how many men dont think of taking any with them.
unless of course you are a "show-couple"
:lol: please don't think i'm being rude, the advice is sound..but it is important that newbie couples don't get the impression that participation in any way, or form is expected of them..involvement is an option that some ladies enjoy, and some male partners manipulate them into for personal gratification, thats all 
i agree. and if your a couple going dogging take condoms with you, its amazing how many men dont think of taking any with them.
unless of course you are a "show-couple"
:lol: please don't think i'm being rude, the advice is sound..but it is important that newbie couples don't get the impression that participation in any way, or form is expected of them..involvement is an option that some ladies enjoy, and some male partners manipulate them into for personal gratification, thats all Quote by dirtydoggers
/quote]
i agree. and if your a couple going dogging take condoms with you, its amazing how many men dont think of taking any with them.
unless of course you are a "show-couple"
:lol: please don't think i'm being rude, the advice is sound..but it is important that newbie couples don't get the impression that participation in any way, or form is expected of them..involvement is an option that some ladies enjoy, and some male partners manipulate them into for personal gratification, thats all your not being rude, and i agree with above
the issue regarding signals is always problematic for begginers..most couples don't use them, so its one of the things that makes identification of wind up merchants easier, as they tend to, usually in exaggerated form.
we have been in the game for nearly two years, and i couldn't tell you what the established procedure for couples or gays was, its not something we often use, as we rarely need too.
its easy to appreciate your dillema though, and much of the success or failure depends on the couple's experience and a basic awareness regarding the instinctive rules of social interaction.
the older hands, through experience, will be less sensitive to the usual fight or flight instinct. in such a situation, as long as its done respectfully, a direct approach could be appropiate..the question for you is, are they such a couple?
the less experienced couples need to be handled with more caution, and regard to their in mob handed, or too directly will certainly send them fleeing. being approached in a dark carpark, is not something they have been conditioned too, and even though logic tells them its alright, usually something deeper will shout at them to get out of the potentially dangerous situation..its much the same for you, in that making an approach on an occupied vehicle in a dark carpark, is something too alien for you to deal with comfortably..
then there is the aspect of conversation..this is variable, in that playing couples will often invite or even instigate conversation, whereas many, but not all, showing couples feel it uneccessary, often undesireable to speak at all.
so, what do you do? well, i cannot tell you. every situation is different..experience will give you an edge, in that you will develop a "feel" for the game. from time to time you will fuck up, even the veterans do, just hope the lesson isn't too painfull and prepare to do some fast thinking. carry a dog lead with you, your missing mutt might be your salvation.
this is what i suggest. flick your interior light on soon after arrival. stand by your vehicle with the door unlocked. if you don't smoke, have a fag, its compulsory for doggers, only kidding ..if your target vehicle is parked in such a way that walking past wouldn't be regarded as extremely innapropiate, then look at these options.
lock your door, keep your key to hand. walk past the vehicle at a steady pace, four or five feet would be fine. approach from the front, and if possible, at the drivers side..keep walking..when you feel you have put some distance between you and the car, start your return leg, only this time, closer and slower, maybe a couple of feet, don't take the wing mirror off. do this, if possible, at the passenger side.
if its going to go pear shaped, it'll be now, but you will be heading towards your car, only it might be faster than you anticipated. often the couple will use the oppertunity to start playing, and if they want participation, they might choose the moment to communicate.
of course, they may do nothing, but you would have established your intrest, and afforded them the oppertunity to make a breif judgement of you. if they weren't into the game, your behaviour might be seen as mildly strange, but hopefully thats all. if you are aggresively confronted, make a quick assesment as to what type of dog the driver might relate to, and wave your empty lead :lol: if that doesn't work, say something completely meaningless, then leg it :lol:
we have been in the game for nearly two years, and i couldn't tell you what the established procedure for couples or gays was, its not something we often use, as we rarely need too.
its easy to appreciate your dillema though, and much of the success or failure depends on the couple's experience and a basic awareness regarding the instinctive rules of social interaction.
the older hands, through experience, will be less sensitive to the usual fight or flight instinct. in such a situation, as long as its done respectfully, a direct approach could be appropiate..the question for you is, are they such a couple?
the less experienced couples need to be handled with more caution, and regard to their in mob handed, or too directly will certainly send them fleeing. being approached in a dark carpark, is not something they have been conditioned too, and even though logic tells them its alright, usually something deeper will shout at them to get out of the potentially dangerous situation..its much the same for you, in that making an approach on an occupied vehicle in a dark carpark, is something too alien for you to deal with comfortably..
then there is the aspect of conversation..this is variable, in that playing couples will often invite or even instigate conversation, whereas many, but not all, showing couples feel it uneccessary, often undesireable to speak at all.
so, what do you do? well, i cannot tell you. every situation is different..experience will give you an edge, in that you will develop a "feel" for the game. from time to time you will fuck up, even the veterans do, just hope the lesson isn't too painfull and prepare to do some fast thinking. carry a dog lead with you, your missing mutt might be your salvation.
this is what i suggest. flick your interior light on soon after arrival. stand by your vehicle with the door unlocked. if you don't smoke, have a fag, its compulsory for doggers, only kidding
..if your target vehicle is parked in such a way that walking past wouldn't be regarded as extremely innapropiate, then look at these options.lock your door, keep your key to hand. walk past the vehicle at a steady pace, four or five feet would be fine. approach from the front, and if possible, at the drivers side..keep walking..when you feel you have put some distance between you and the car, start your return leg, only this time, closer and slower, maybe a couple of feet, don't take the wing mirror off. do this, if possible, at the passenger side.
if its going to go pear shaped, it'll be now, but you will be heading towards your car, only it might be faster than you anticipated. often the couple will use the oppertunity to start playing, and if they want participation, they might choose the moment to communicate.
of course, they may do nothing, but you would have established your intrest, and afforded them the oppertunity to make a breif judgement of you. if they weren't into the game, your behaviour might be seen as mildly strange, but hopefully thats all. if you are aggresively confronted, make a quick assesment as to what type of dog the driver might relate to, and wave your empty lead :lol: if that doesn't work, say something completely meaningless, then leg it :lol:
Thank you DirtyDoggers 
A sensible answer to what I hoped was a sensible question & I appreciate it took sometime to put together. Saying there are no hard and fast rules is one thing...explaining why in a little more detail certainly helps.
Shame the signals couldn't be a little easier :)
Anyway, thanks for the time put into the reply.
A sensible answer to what I hoped was a sensible question & I appreciate it took sometime to put together. Saying there are no hard and fast rules is one thing...explaining why in a little more detail certainly helps.
Shame the signals couldn't be a little easier :)
Anyway, thanks for the time put into the reply.
don't thank me for the effort mate, its only a reflection of my enthusiasm for the game, and to be fair, the oppertunity to spend a little time on the subject doesn't come around too often
your sentiments regarding the signals being easier i understand, but from my perspective, dissagree with..it would be too easy, too manufactured and ultimately too deadining. dogging should have that edge.
next time you are faced with the first scenario you envisaged, don't get too wrapped up in the emotions, but feel them, watch whats happening. don't question them, just absorb the experience..its a fascinating side that doesn't often enjoy expression in our cotton wool society..
its important that you just watch the feelings though, thats why i say don't get wrapped up in them. once you start to "chase the thrill" you'll be on a slippery slope. obviously this can find more expression with some couples, and i'm carefull to say only some, in that they push their boundries ever further in order to substain that initial "high". ultimately though, they are performing extreme acts without any attendant thrill, then there is nowhere else to turn and the whole thing for them, has degenerated into a sterile experience trotted out routinely and habitualy.
looking at what i've just said, i see its gone way beyond the context of your origional question..arrrg!! i also see that every playing couple is going to percieve it as an attack..let me say again, it isn't...besides being none of my business, any couple playing, no matter what level, if they are content, then evidently it is right for them..at the other end of the spectrum however, are the couples that got too absorbed in the excitement, and like any addict, has had to heighten the fix, until now, they are at the stage where they have become semen recepticals to the "penguin" doggers, neither gaining much from the experience and with nothing left to explore, and yes, i have seen such people, and yes, they are a minority, and why did i feel the need tosay all that, i don't know, my finger has gone into autobollocks again, i'm sorry.
enjoy and embrace the feelings you experience. the internet has been blamed for killing dogging, it hasn't killed anything, but as with all such information media, people can allow it to kill them, by letting it sap out all the reality from voluntarily dissapear into the fantasy world, others put on layer after layer of emotion and experience which isn't their own..thats why actually getting out there and living those fears is so liberating, its real, like the difference between flying a computer simulation or strapping your arse into the real thing, if you think it could bite yer bum, its just so much more
neither does it matter what dogging was, or was imagined to be, in the past..taking any negatives from dogging and projecting them onto an imagined future is also a futile excersise..none of that matters and none of it is real, its imagination and fantasy. the only reality in dogging is what it is to you, now..
recently my mate "the master" said to me that a couple had said this."that dirtydogger bloke writes some stuff doesn't he, gets a bit deep for my taste though"!! :lol: he was right, because he just goes out and does it..however, i don't think about any of that stuff when we go out either :lol: don't think you need to, and don't believe anything i say :wink: see it for yourself though, you cannot be told the reality of dogging, only experience it..
arrgggg, i need to go and join one of those chinese monastries somewhere..i think i'm better talking about flanges and spanking the ole monkey :lol: :lol:
just to add :cry: :cry: :cry: understand too, that the initial emotions experienced by newbie couples are usually percieved as a negative, which is why they need to be approached sensitively..however, the thrill, is usually seen in hindsight, maybe on the way home even..i'm sure many have stopped in a quiet layby for a furious organ fight :lol:
with experience, the fear and the thrill begin to co-exist, they aren't felt seperately, they unite to become the feeling of excitement which is the desired emotion in the context of dogging..like i said earlier, enjoy the feeling, but don't be overwhelmed by it, because it will leave a void, like a hangover..you might be on a downer that will make you seek out the high, its an emotional roller coaster ride which can be an addiction..
thus endeth another poxy sermon by kwai chang dirty :roll: :roll:
your sentiments regarding the signals being easier i understand, but from my perspective, dissagree with..it would be too easy, too manufactured and ultimately too deadining. dogging should have that edge.
next time you are faced with the first scenario you envisaged, don't get too wrapped up in the emotions, but feel them, watch whats happening. don't question them, just absorb the experience..its a fascinating side that doesn't often enjoy expression in our cotton wool society..
its important that you just watch the feelings though, thats why i say don't get wrapped up in them. once you start to "chase the thrill" you'll be on a slippery slope. obviously this can find more expression with some couples, and i'm carefull to say only some, in that they push their boundries ever further in order to substain that initial "high". ultimately though, they are performing extreme acts without any attendant thrill, then there is nowhere else to turn and the whole thing for them, has degenerated into a sterile experience trotted out routinely and habitualy.
looking at what i've just said, i see its gone way beyond the context of your origional question..arrrg!! i also see that every playing couple is going to percieve it as an attack..let me say again, it isn't...besides being none of my business, any couple playing, no matter what level, if they are content, then evidently it is right for them..at the other end of the spectrum however, are the couples that got too absorbed in the excitement, and like any addict, has had to heighten the fix, until now, they are at the stage where they have become semen recepticals to the "penguin" doggers, neither gaining much from the experience and with nothing left to explore, and yes, i have seen such people, and yes, they are a minority, and why did i feel the need tosay all that, i don't know, my finger has gone into autobollocks again, i'm sorry.
enjoy and embrace the feelings you experience. the internet has been blamed for killing dogging, it hasn't killed anything, but as with all such information media, people can allow it to kill them, by letting it sap out all the reality from voluntarily dissapear into the fantasy world, others put on layer after layer of emotion and experience which isn't their own..thats why actually getting out there and living those fears is so liberating, its real, like the difference between flying a computer simulation or strapping your arse into the real thing, if you think it could bite yer bum, its just so much more
neither does it matter what dogging was, or was imagined to be, in the past..taking any negatives from dogging and projecting them onto an imagined future is also a futile excersise..none of that matters and none of it is real, its imagination and fantasy. the only reality in dogging is what it is to you, now..
recently my mate "the master" said to me that a couple had said this."that dirtydogger bloke writes some stuff doesn't he, gets a bit deep for my taste though"!! :lol: he was right, because he just goes out and does it..however, i don't think about any of that stuff when we go out either :lol: don't think you need to, and don't believe anything i say :wink: see it for yourself though, you cannot be told the reality of dogging, only experience it..
arrgggg, i need to go and join one of those chinese monastries somewhere..i think i'm better talking about flanges and spanking the ole monkey :lol: :lol:
just to add :cry: :cry: :cry: understand too, that the initial emotions experienced by newbie couples are usually percieved as a negative, which is why they need to be approached sensitively..however, the thrill, is usually seen in hindsight, maybe on the way home even..i'm sure many have stopped in a quiet layby for a furious organ fight :lol:
with experience, the fear and the thrill begin to co-exist, they aren't felt seperately, they unite to become the feeling of excitement which is the desired emotion in the context of dogging..like i said earlier, enjoy the feeling, but don't be overwhelmed by it, because it will leave a void, like a hangover..you might be on a downer that will make you seek out the high, its an emotional roller coaster ride which can be an addiction..
thus endeth another poxy sermon by kwai chang dirty :roll: :roll:
DirtyDoggers.. :cheers: (couldnt find a clapping one, so this emoticon will have to do!)
It is nice to see someone who actually takes the time to explain things, which is obviously down to your love of your lifestyle (which I fully understand..)... and not just throw words of annoyance at someone who is only trying to wriggle out of being in the position which we have all began at.. newbiees!
Once again, DirtyDoggers (and anyone else who has helped others, be it myself in the beginning or to other SH Members who are still finding their way..).. I salute you.
Everyone have fun and.. be safe!
It is nice to see someone who actually takes the time to explain things, which is obviously down to your love of your lifestyle (which I fully understand..)... and not just throw words of annoyance at someone who is only trying to wriggle out of being in the position which we have all began at.. newbiees!
Once again, DirtyDoggers (and anyone else who has helped others, be it myself in the beginning or to other SH Members who are still finding their way..).. I salute you.
Everyone have fun and.. be safe!
