In the spirit of some of the swinging adverts,this is for the new couple, new to the scene,(aged between 32 and 47 and a half) who feel spontaneous,who live around derby, with a nympho wife who happen to be reading this at am and have an overwhelming urge to drive and shag mattius.
you can if you follow these simple instructions.
Get to the main location and then head to the smaller site on the opposite side. Turn right out of the car park of the smaller location and drive to the end of the road (t-junction)
if there are hills to your left then you are in totally the wrong town and need to reread. you should be in Derby.
Turn left at t-junction and take the second right, then second right again and then first left. when at top of road, turn round, come back to the bottom of road and turn left (this is to ensure that you havnt been followed - if you have been followed and there is a gorgeous blonde in the following car, slow down and let them follow you)
once at the bottom of the road, having turned left take the first right , then first right again (no - second right - definately dont take the first right). at t-junction turn right and keep going till crossroads
if there arent any crossroads go back to smaller location and start again. perhaps consider swapping over who is driving and who is navigating!!!
cross over crossroads, up hill taking care to not turn right or left - straight on is a good clue.
pass the telephone box on left....and three hundred yards further on turn right into location
see you in a bit - am waiting
oh...and dogging ettiquette is required. please press your brake light once and flick on internal light
then...im yours
easy - wasnt it?
Sexpert
Hope it went well for you. If not, perhaps you should change your venue to somewhere else.