Why do carers not get the recognition they deserved..
I have been an unoffical carer for my father for the last 3 and a bit years,
And the only question i seem to get asked how is my father,it seems like no one care about the way i am feeling,
Or am i wrong in the way i am thinking?...
Have you looked through your local council website to see whether there are carers' support groups in your area? There seems gradually to be more awareness of problems of "unofficial" carers than there used to be.
Hope you get some help and the acknowledgement and appreciation you deserve.
When I saw the thread title I was all prepared for an argument, but for once there isn't one.
Unfortunately the government isn't responsible for private care arrangements. They should be but they aren't.
We are also unofficial carers as our youngest son has severe autism. He now goes to boarding school and comes home every other weekend which has taken the pressure off us as a family but it has been a long hard fight to get us to this point and to have him provided with the support that he needs. We have had to involve our local MP. What will happen when he is of the age where he transfers from children's to adult services though, we don't know but we're sure that it will involve many more fights.
Does your father have a social worker? It is my understanding that unofficial carers are entitled to an assessment of their needs too. I would speak to your local social services department for an assessment. They should look at your needs and entitlements, benefits, respite, etc. They will always try to get away with as little as possible so be prepared, tell them exactly how it is and how bad things get for you and your father. At the end of the day they need you to continue caring for him as it is cheaper than them having to provide residential/nursing care for him. Let them know that you are aware I this and you can't continue without support.
Good luck x
I have had a carers assessment, much depends on your personal and financial circumstances as to whether you are entitled to any "real help".
If you have a couple of kids, earn a good wage, got your own place etc - then you can forget it.
However if life has dealt you a really bad hand, then there is considerable support out there, financial and moral support.
Now here is the real problem.... most people are neither one nor the other, they are somewhere in the middle, sort of everyday and normal. Unfortunately if that is you (as it is me) then you have shit-out and there is nothing at all.
Lots of moral guidance, support groups etc, which may be enough - but moral support does not make the tea, nor does it pick up the kids from school - that is what I mean by real help.
It is very much making the best of a bad job. Good luck to you xxx
We have not been dealt a good hand nor bad. We both work, have decent jobs and 3 children. We have never been means tested as part of a social work assessment as informal carers.
We have received support and respite care. I think it is more dependent on Individual circumstances regarding what you have to cope with rather than how much money you (as the carer) has.
That's fair enough.
Ultimately it is all down to money - if you have got money (I mean enough money) then you can look after yourself (and the person you are caring for).
I am not saying that is the view that I subsrcibe to, because it isn't - however it is the view that the authorities subscribe to. If this was not the case then people who go into care homes would not be required to subsidise their own care by liquifying their assets - i.e. selling everything they own.
Regretfully, if you have the cash then you can look after yourself - if you don't have a pot to piss in then the state will pick up the tab. If you are somewhere in between then you will have to spend whatever you have until you don't have a pot to piss in.
Respite care is something which is transient, it is not a permenent solution, it may solve a very short term problem, and reduce stress or simply give someone a break, and if that is enough (as it is for many people) then that is great.
As for a permenent solution, it is all down to money.
Mrs Paddy suffers severe depression, in and out of long visits hospitalised.
Does that make me a carer, I think it does.
Thankfully she's off medication now.
I admire anyone who has the patience, trust me its not easy.
It does make you a carer....
However - if she is off medication then you are unlikely to receive anything other than sympathetic words.
If you try Post-Plural Depression, combined with Psychosis, with a diagnosis of Treatment Resistent Depression with presctibed medication of anti-psychotics (Olanzapine), and anti-depressents (Lofrepramine) and anti-anxyiolotics (Diazepam), and a recommendation not to work.... and with all that still getting NOTHING (i.e. no allowances or help whatsoever)... then you are hardly likely to get anything at all to care for someone who is off their medication.
To be compeletely honest why should you? If there is no medication then there is no problem (... I know that is not true - but that is the way things are!).
It is all down to money - if you have got enough to get by, then then you don't get allowances.
It is that simple - if anyone believes that is not the case then please post an address and telephone numnber of who says otherwise.
Not going to quote but on the issue of help and money? You can get help if you have money its not all means tested. My Mum was my dads carer. They had what would be considered by many a considerable sum in the bank their house was paid off and they had decent pensions. My dad went on free placements, was taken out weekly by a social worker seperate from my Mother. They got carers allowance and attendance allowance (I think sorry of those are the same but I know they had two types of bennefit). There were also plenty of other suport schemes link to my Dads condition maybe not authority based that were also free and that they attended. When my dad went into care we all assumed he would pay and we would watch his money vanish but in fact he only paid for a very small % of his actual care in the end. I didnt deal with it but from what I could gather if your assesed as needing NHS help then you get your care home free. The NHS basically pay for you to be in care so you dont take up a ward bed. Same happened with my Mum when she was terminal.
In their case have money didnt seemt to stop them getting help. We were all actually quicte surprised at how much they didnt have to pay for. Think you have to get the right people on side, that can help.
I think it is very circumstantial. I'm sure that in certain situations money does come into it. When my grandad went into a care home for example, they took everything, his house, his work pension, etc.
Before our son went to boarding school (which he attends due to education not being able to meet his needs in Cheshire) we received respite care to give us a break. We have been in receipt of allowances too and we have never been means tested.
You can't make a sweeping statement about all carers and what they are or not entitled to as it depends on situations.
I don't know how old your Dad is. I would suggest talking to age concern.
They were a great help to my mum gave her information about care help, occupational therapy which supplied equipment to help my dad support himself a little. Also gave advice on what benefits my dad was intitled to and helped complete the forms.
My parents owed their own house and my mum was still working full time at that stage.
My mum was like you she never knew where to turn.
They might be worth a try to help point you in the right direction.
Once you are in the system there is support there, it is not perfect but keep telling then what you need to be able to keep caring for him yourself as his needs change.
Good Luck.
Sorry to say... the government are not forthcoming with help/recognition for carers.
I have 3 children and 2 of them have disabilities, my son has Autistic Spectrum Disorder and ADHD and my eldest daughter has mosaicism, global developmental delay (mental age of 6,restricted physical growth) Is severely epileptic and partially blind.. I FIGHT to get the help and I have to say it's probably because I have been living on my own for 8 years that I get recognition because I pester the hell out of social services. Unfortunately they don't offer the same help for married couples as I have friends in similar circumstances but where they're married with jobs and they don't get recognition as carers let alone support.
My eldest daughter goes to respite in a care home to give me a break and my son goes to a family link foster care placement. I had to fight to get it but eventually we got round to sorting it all out and I don't know what I would do without the break, to be honest! I'd probably get very run down!
