Chatting up

Do you like being chatted up, our do you like doing the chatting up

Not sure we'd call it chatting up but we both prefer flirty chat/banter to the rather crude language some people seem to rely upon when communicating with us.

I like it when someone I find attractive chats Me up.

I like to chatted up . Or flirted with

I like to be chatted up, especially by a couple.

I'm terrible at chatting a lady up, and they never try chatting me up.

That's because you're trying to chat them up. Just try chatting without the 'them up' bit.

Quote by osemlover

That's because you're trying to chat them up. Just try chatting without the 'them up' bit.

They don't like it when I do that either.

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

They don't like it when I do that either.

I'm going to make a gross generalisation here to make a point, which I apologise for, but which might help a little.

When you were "just chatting to them" did you still have the same intent? I find most women (and a lot of men for that matter) can tell pretty quickly what people are after when they talk to them. A good conversation CAN lead anywhere, but making it seem like you're only talking to them to try to get in their pants can certainly put some (if not many) off.

The other question to ask yourself if people seem like they aren't enjoying you chatting to them, why that might be? Sometimes its the subject matter, sometimes its the way you say things, sometimes its standing too close for comfort before you know someone- its worth spending some time thinking about it.

Quote by Lapua

I'm going to make a gross generalisation here to make a point, which I apologise for, but which might help a little.

When you were "just chatting to them" did you still have the same intent? I find most women (and a lot of men for that matter) can tell pretty quickly what people are after when they talk to them. A good conversation CAN lead anywhere, but making it seem like you're only talking to them to try to get in their pants can certainly put some (if not many) off.

The other question to ask yourself if people seem like they aren't enjoying you chatting to them, why that might be? Sometimes its the subject matter, sometimes its the way you say things, sometimes its standing too close for comfort before you know someone- its worth spending some time thinking about it.

I'm talking about people turning their backs on you or freezing you out of a conversation when all you've had a chance to say is hello.

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

I'm talking about people turning their backs on you or freezing you out of a conversation when all you've had a chance to say is hello.

Maybe they're just not in the mood for conversation with someone they don't know. Maybe they've had a bad experience with being approached by a stranger(s) in the past. Maybe they're waiting for their other half. Maybe they just want to be left alone. Who knows. It doesn't have to be anything you've done or an insult to you.

Quote by osemlover

Maybe they're just not in the mood for conversation with someone they don't know. Maybe they've had a bad experience with being approached by a stranger(s) in the past. Maybe they're waiting for their other half. Maybe they just want to be left alone. Who knows. It doesn't have to be anything you've done or an insult to you.

I completely concur- why ascribe something to malice when the likelihood is that its just a difference of desires (or lack thereof)?

Quote by Lapua

I completely concur- why ascribe something to malice when the likelihood is that its just a difference of desires (or lack thereof)?

This has happened to me too often (it's the rule, not the exception) for that to be credible. Do me the courtesy of assuming I know what I'm talking about.

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

This has happened to me too often (it's the rule, not the exception) for that to be credible. Do me the courtesy of assuming I know what I'm talking about.

Are you saying you know people have malicious intent to keep you out of a conversation? I'm interested to hear both where this happens and how you know? I'm not being flippant, I am honestly interested.

Quote by Quietly_Kinky

This has happened to me too often (it's the rule, not the exception) for that to be credible. Do me the courtesy of assuming I know what I'm talking about.

You know your experience from your perspective but, as you're finding out, it's other people's perspectives you need to address if you want better results. If you're not too bothered, that's fine. If you walked into a normal pub and randomly walked up to all the women therein to start and maintain a conversation, what success rate would you expect?

Quote by osemlover

You know your experience from your perspective but, as you're finding out, it's other people's perspectives you need to address if you want better results. If you're not too bothered, that's fine. If you walked into a normal pub and randomly walked up to all the women therein to start and maintain a conversation, what success rate would you expect? Why do you think most men's would be any different? To meet females/couples here though you need to work at it and it takes time because males vastly outnumber them.