Getting noticed!

I would live some advice on getting noticed on swinging heaven and getting some responses. Wouod be nice to hear from some genuine people.

Weve found, getting involved with chat has helped. Granted it is easier for a couple. But we weren't always a couple. We use pool, as a chat room. Getting involved in the conversation and having a chuckle with the regulars. Fairly quickly, you become a regular too.

Thanks, that's helpful, really nice to get a reply,,one that's helpful too. X

Sharing our experiences of the lifestyle .. is the least we can do

I wish people would reply to a perfectly reasonable message in response to an encounter post or even just to try and start a conversation. Even if that reply was thanks but no thanks or even F off. It is really disheartening for us poor blokes when we message people and get no response. Is it just me?

Not just you. There's a lot of rude and impolite people on this site. Not all, not all. But many.

Quote by steviec40

I wish people would reply to a perfectly reasonable message in response to an encounter post or even just to try and start a conversation. Even if that reply was thanks but no thanks or even F off. It is really disheartening for us poor blokes when we message people and get no response. Is it just me?

Sometimes when people reply with a "no thanks" the person who receives it takes it as the first line of communication and continues to harass until they either get blocked or reported,sometimes both.

So most couples and single females find that the best way is,to ignore those messages which don't appeal or which aren't what they are looking for.

Really? In this day and age. How very sad 😞

Quote by steviec40

Really? In this day and age. How very sad 😞

I thought you would have realised that by now as you've been a member for over 17years!

Quote by steviec40

Really? In this day and age. How very sad 😞

What's really sad is the number of guys who don't bother to read profiles before sending their messages and then get the hump when they don't get the response they think they're owed. Having written a very detailed profile, why would we bother to respond to someone who has ignored it and isn't at all what we're looking for? Politeness? Well that cuts both ways.

Quote by osemlover

What's really sad is the number of guys who don't bother to read profiles before sending their messages and then get the hump when they don't get the response they think they're owed. Having written a very detailed profile, why would we bother to respond to someone who has ignored it and isn't at all what we're looking for? Politeness? Well that cuts both ways.

Exactly this, our profile isn't that long and detailed but the key points are in there... and often get ignored. We also get messages that don't invite a response from time to time. We do try to respond to the ones that have been reasonable, in line with our requests. Although letting people down gently can be difficult at times.

Yeah. I get that ode lover and swingy. I do read the profiles and take note of the content. I am polite and consider my messages. I don’t contact people who aren’t looking for clear things I am not or I am not into 😒

Always a difficult one Steve ... and we reckon there will never be a full and final answer to it. As we've mentioned before we tend to chat, in the chat rooms, to build up a rapport. If one of the guys we've chatted to in there, then messages, we always respond to those. Because they have put the effort it, rather than just sent a random message.

As a rule, I won't message a member if they aren't seeking single males. However I have been known to break that rule from time to time ; the exception being to send a compliment on a particularly good or witty profile. If they write back, unless there is some sort of suggestion or even an offer to take things a little further ( that's as rare as hen's teeth!) then I follow up to see where it may go. Other than that, I'll try to read the profile properly along with who they are 'seeking' - yeah, like many of us solo males, we tend to get a little distracted..😁

This subject has been discussed for as long as there have been sites like this. Unfortunately its a case of the many being punished for the faults of a few. There are definitely faults on both sides but I have to admit the majority of the failure is down to single men. Some men (not all) seem to judge sites like this as a place where desperate nymphomaniacs hang out, ladies that dont care who it is or what they liike like, they are just desperate to get fucked. I suppose this fantasy is brought in by excessive wanking and fantasising. Imagine being a friendly couple and always trying to reply to messages, even though their are multiple messages arriving every day from guys who are nothing like what they are looking for. When they do reply and politely decline guys who do not interest them at all then for some reason many of the rejected guys take offence and reply back with verbal abuse. It doesnt take long for these couples to figure out that the best action is to ignore people who do not interest them and have obviously not read their profiles. Also consider a couple whos husband has been gently introducing his wife to the lifestyle and convincing her that there are fun people out there who they could meet and have fun with, but then every time this nervous wife logs on she sees all the crude messages from sad fuckers just desperate for a shag. It is understandable that the husband would get pretty pissed off at this as all his hard work trying to show his wife that this isnt sleazy its just a place for adults to have fun BUT these fuckers keep messaging them and undoing all his hard work, causing her to reject the lifestyle. Everybody comes onto this site for their own pleasure and enjoyment NOT for yours, If you manage to find a mutual area that you can all enjoy that is great but messaging random women and telling them how much you want to fuck them is almost never going to achieve anything but getting you hated by genuine swingers.

Thanks for that Algarvepartyguy

So where do all yhe desperate nymphomaniacs hang out?😀

I suppose if anybody knew that they would keep it low key...

You’re not on your own. I’ve also experienced this…I think I’ve had one response. I’ve only recently starting using the site - albeit several months ago…despite my profile suggesting differently (I did show interest some years ago but my circumstances changed).

You’re right - just a polite no - after a sincere initial message is all that’s required. I’m losing a little faith to be quite honest.

Hope you find exactly what you’re looking for…Quote by steviec40

I wish people would reply to a perfectly reasonable message in response to an encounter post or even just to try and start a conversation. Even if that reply was thanks but no thanks or even F off. It is really disheartening for us poor blokes when we message people and get no response. Is it just me?

Quote by jakeyboy14

it would be nice ... if they actually spoke in chat !

Quote by Woohoo

Sometimes when people reply with a "no thanks" the person who receives it takes it as the first line of communication and continues to harass until they either get blocked or reported,sometimes both.

So most couples and single females find that the best way is,to ignore those messages which don't appeal or which aren't what they are looking for.

Really has it come to that? that’s like seeing someone when your out maybe walking and not saying hello, or a nod of the head or raise of the hand. People will bow their head or look away rather than speak. Bad manners in my book.

It’s acknowledgment? We all want it. Look at the state of the world, there needs to be more love.

To be fair there is a lot of good advice above to explain why single males may not receive a response to a well intended and considered message. It may be disheartening, but I would suggest having realistic expectations from the outset - I don’t know the exact ratio is, but let’s agree that being a single male is like being a small fish in an ocean. I am neither agreeing or disagreeing with the sentiment or why someone does not respond but I at least understand it. One thing is for sure, I do not take it personally, if I did i am definitely in the wrong place.