Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Has swinging changed much over the last few years?

last reply
19 replies
1.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Just thought i'd ask the question. I guess for us it seems it has. The first coule of years it was, certainly in comparison to now, quite active and very social/ However the last three or four seem to have shown a decline in our activity and though still vert much enjoying what we do swinging seems to have evolved for us into the very occasional rather than the large part of our social life it once was.
I feel that swinging has certainly gravitated towards the club scene in our area with a few smaller clubs opening up around the area and as a result a lot less people are swinging at or from home than ever. Bit of a shame personally as I enjoyed the house meets most of all, excepting the big social events as I loved them, Jay however seems to think it is more about us than the scene and that we dont actively pursue the swinging as we first did. Probably a mix of both is the truth of the matter. What do others think has happened to their swinging lifestyle over time?
you may find the home swing thing is dropping of dew to "Climate change" ...........the pampus grass isn't growing as well as it did wink
After more than 10 years in the scene the amount of meets we get has declined dramatically. I think the main reason for this is me, I am more than 10 years older and therefore less desirable lol
We are heavy into the club scene but only socially, we love the dancing, relaxed atmosphere, social side but save swinging for home meets.
On average it can take us 6 months or more (actually a lot more) to get a meet with someone we have never met, ie off the internet, despite being available 7 days a week, can accommodate including overnight/weekend, no kids, work from home etc and using about 5 sites regularly.
We get a lot of interest, mails everyday, but they rarely get beyond the wink and 4 mails stage, again we are partly to blame, we have exacting criteria, I punch above my weight for starters, but I have Sasha and I simply don't want to play with just anyone, I would rather just make love to her than have sex with someone I don't find sexually attractive.
We rarely contact anyone and sit back waiting for people to contact us so only have ourselves to blame for that too.
We have though, become very sceptical, we used to arrange meets with gusto, make a buffet, buy in some wine and beer (which we don't drink) and look forward to the meet, but now we just spruce ourselves up and wait for them NOT to turn up, the last 14 meets we have arranged have resulted in 13 no shows, not one with advance cancellation notice and one couple who showed up then threatened to kill us when we wouldn't play (reason being she didn't want to and he was pushing her to play).
We do still love the scene, for the social side and in the hope that we will get lucky in the future and because we have a few old friends that we meet up with once in a while and have a great time playing with and more that we meet socially and enjoy our time together equally.
Has the scene itself changed or just us, a bit of both, the net is spreading wider, an increase in clubs an increase in awareness through the internet and so on has brought a lot of dreamers, wanna be's and adrenalin junkies into the scene (adrenalin junkies love the chase but lose the will to meet when the buzz dilutes with a meet arranged, and there are the out and out timewasters who use "arranging meets" to obtain private pics and sex chat. Nothing wrong with pic swapping and sex chat for those who are interested in it, just a shame they can't be upfront and honest saying that is what they want and find likeminded people.
If you do an in depth search on here you will find how few of the 1.5 million members actually are compatible, look using your age criteria, gender, physique, distance, sexuality etc and the results are quite a disappointment for many.
In summary, it's our fault as much as anything or anyone else.
Quote by sercher01
you may find the home swing thing is dropping of dew to "Climate change" ...........the pampus grass isn't growing as well as it did wink

Big Lol Pampas grass ffs I might be getting old but I aint THAT old smile
Me and Mr Tigs were working out that we have been in the scene for 10 years now. That does not mean that we have been "Shagging continuously" for that amount of time. To be honest we make pretty poor swingers lol.
We have found that in the beginning it was a very social thing, lots of munches and lots of social meets. This is where most of the "action", the after parties took place, or arrangements were made.
In recent years it has been more of sending messages to people, meeting up and shagging. So basically meet say hi shag lol.
We much prefer the older days, we think people were friendlier and it was much more fun. It seems much more hard work now. Also you knew if the people were fake in the old days now it is done more over the internet.
Oh yes indeedy! It's changed for moi, but in a good way.....
X
Quote by Poppyrocks
Oh yes indeedy! It's changed for moi, but in a good way.....
X

Intriguing first post.. do tell more! :rascal:
The main thing I think is the amount of people now being involved in one way or another in swinging. there are now alot more clubs than 5 years ago....and I think quite a few more younger people are starting to swing. Before it tended to be the over 30's that were involved generally, but now and especially at club level, we see alot in the 20's in there.
Also I do think swinging is becoming more socially acceptable and almost mainstream. we saw Vanilla Alternative club, advertise on WOWcher other day, and sold out there allocation on 150 discounted enteries in 4 days !!
Swinging...is not the that little hidden secret so much now !!!
It has changed for me as I no longer do it, but it does seem a bit more " mainstream" as programmes have been made about it, also I have noticed in the problem pages in newspapers there are a lot of stories of how swinging has ruined a relationship or marriage.
I think lots of people are still curious about it, however for a few it appears the right mindset isn`t there and it may not always bring you delights you thought it would.
Quote by postie
Oh yes indeedy! It's changed for moi, but in a good way.....
X

Intriguing first post.. do tell more! :rascal:
Similar to losty, it started with LOTS of time on here, making ads, chatting for hours, arranging to meet etc. Over the years that's totally tailed off, but it's much easier to suss out from people we meet in the vanilla world who mig be up for what, and moving house and being more relaxed about things has meant more fun when we want it ;-)
Quote by sandybeach1
It has changed for me as I no longer do it, but it does seem a bit more " mainstream" as programmes have been made about it, also I have noticed in the problem pages in newspapers there are a lot of stories of how swinging has ruined a relationship or marriage.
I think lots of people are still curious about it, however for a few it appears the right mindset isn`t there and it may not always bring you delights you thought it would.

I think that has always been the way of it, some people come into it thinking it will be a quick fix shag fest some think it will put right problems in their marriage, truth is it takes time to arrange meets and a weak marriage will get weaker, you need a strong relationship and a lot of love for each other to make this work, but when it works it is a fantastic way of enhancing your life, great social times, good friends and variety in your sex life.
Swinging hasn't changed, the people have.
Quote by essex34m
Swinging hasn't changed, the people have.

Amen to that!!!!
The amount of messages I get from 'single' men that are no longer on site by the time I get around to reading them, or married men who want me to flirt with their wife in a pub to see if she might be bi. :doh:
When I first started it was about socials, getting to know people, you knew where you stood with them. I have friends I first met on the scene that I've never played with that I know if I'm passing, I can pop in for coffee, or if I have trouble, I can call them. And vice versa.
Now I can't imagine making those kind of friendships through a swinging website. Because people just don't seem to be the same anymore.
Quote by essex34m
Swinging hasn't changed, the people have.

*Like*
Quote by essex34m
Swinging hasn't changed, the people have.

Plus the price of petrol and hotels to go to parties and such like!
Swinging has changed hugely, simply because of that wonderful invention, the Internet.
I think without that invention, swinging would be the same today as it was 30 years ago. The internet has made everything so much easier from meeting up to saying hi on cam etc.
Quote by starlightcouple
Swinging has changed hugely, simply because of that wonderful invention, the Internet.
I think without that invention, swinging would be the same today as it was 30 years ago. The internet has made everything so much easier from meeting up to saying hi on cam etc.

Hummmm
So tell me star, what do I plug my pampas grass in to?
yep that's what I said at the start, swinging hasn't changed we have, I am 12 years older now and in less demand (demand was never high but we got occasional meets now we get none, this year so far, new meets NIL, zilch, none, niet,)
Perhaps the pampas grass should make a comeback then Jed. You might get some passing trade :lol2: