"It's a sock", you says
A colourful mischievous stripy sock, I says
"So what can it do?" you says
Well.... let us see what the sock(s) can do
(plural on socks as we are not a discriminator of multiple socks or sock ethnicities, gender, sexuality nor preferences, we are in fact an irritatingly P.C. promoter of the sock world.
You think that stands for politically correct... oh noes, I tell you now, it's a secret sock society submission of Podiatry Conundrum, ;) bit like all that MI5 funny handshake business, with the added Countdown element.
((Now that I think on, it's definitely not the same since Carol Vorderman left. 
))You know, where you approach someone on various nefarious activity and they insist on you carrying invincible carpets under your arms like a 7ft tall oaf pretending you're built like a brick sh*thouse, when in reality you're ten stones wet through on a good day after your nan's Sunday dinner, then they request the need for a daily bleeding mail and plastic mustaches, it's just not on. Not on I tells you. 
)Anyways, these sneaky socks have been running amok in your drawers for far too long, it's time for them to be exposed as the rascals that they are....
