A friend sent us these so thought to share em
How to offend everyone!!
My dad worked on the roadwork’s for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all the signs were there.
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I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like;
"I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister...
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My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!
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A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"
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well they made us laugh!
Got to be read out with an Australian and Indian accent....
A drunken totally naked woman jumped into a taxi at Fortitude Valley in Brisbane, Australia.
The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the Cab.
"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a nude woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper,
where I am coming from..."
"Well, if you're not bloody starring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking
to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me?!"
A drunken totally naked woman jumped into a taxi at Fortitude Valley in Brisbane, Australia.
The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the Cab.
"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a nude woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper,
where I am coming from..."
"Well, if you're not bloody starring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking
to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me?!"
