In '06 when J and i first joined SH and first started this Swinging malarcky there was barely a fortnight went by when there wasn't a 'social' social going on somewhere to say nothing of the, at least six I think was, munches that took place that year.
What I'm talking about is the purely social event that took place in halls and pubs etc. We loved going to them and of course for many they weren't really just socials but the swinging stuff tended to go on afterwards at the after parties (phwoar to one or two of those too)
I realise that they could amount to a bloody expensive night out and that people are having to be a little more careful with their cash in the here and now. Is this a reason really? Is there a link to be made with there being so many more swinging clubs now and that people tend to use these instead? The cost comparison between pub/hall socials and swing club meet ups can't be that massive once you've paid entry and sorted accommodation if staying over etc. I do realise that a lot of clubs you take your own booze too som maybe that's a factor. Together with the idea that a Swing club sort of makes more sense if the idea is to get a possible shagging result maybe.
Or is it that swinging is not the 'new black anymore'?
My bet is that there is nothing more likely to restrict peoples fun than their ability to pay for that fun.
Maybe the majority of these people that went to these socials back in the day, either moved on or were banned along time ago...
As a slight aside, a discussion was being had in one of the chatrooms the other day and a new swingle person piped up with what goes on at a social. To which I gave the party line;
"they are a purely social event held in a neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of swinging heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax..."
To say I was nearly laughed out the chatroom was an understatement. It appears that the "social" tag has changed. Maybe this would put off a few people.
A "munch" of course is the same but without banned members. I think folks are organising the events without knowing the rules or history.
Rather off putting for some.
They've had a lot less appeal for me Lost as the site's grown. In the old days when we had really big munches a couple of times a year and the site consisted of only a few hundred core regulars I'd go to a munch knowing I'd know nearly everyone there, would spend all night bouncing around trying to catch up with everyone. That changed to the point that at Wigan munches I might be lucky to know a dozen people. There'd be a few from the forum, a few from this regular chatroom, or that regular chatroom, etc. It's become splintered. Much less point going when you don't hardly know anyone.
That splintering seems evident still further when you look at the smaller, more local socials that are put on these days. Mostly chatroom types that I don't know, seemingly regs from this chatroom or that again. IMO, much as it pains me to say this, the social thing has at last become cliquey. Didn't used to be the case. Again, what's the point in me going to them?
If that is the case GnV, then that is why they could exclude banned members from attending a Sh event. Other than that there in no way that I can see how they can or could exclude anyone.
Munches were always held in a seperate function room, probably most socials bigger than a few people are also. If your name aint on the list you aint coming in. simples.
I went to many socials and munches (from here and other sites) in my first few years here, never much liked them to be honest as i'm not a sociable person so found them generally a trial. Then i met my fella and we went to them simply because there were a place we could go to and be together (we didn't live together then), we rarely spoke to anyone else except to tell them we weren't looking for anyone to play with after the social/munch ! Then we moved in together and didn't need to use socials or munches to be together and although we did go to some for a while after we started living together we found them boring in general so stopped going as we far prefered to stay home or go Chams, we did carry on going to Chams socials for a while but stopped that now too ! Money isn't the reason we have stopped going to them at all as we still frequently spend money on hotels, drinks, food, petrol etc when we go to gigs and sports events.
I suspect that, if indeed socials have dwindled, it's because many people found them uninteresting, and organisers thought they were more hassle than they were worth.
I've only ever attended my local socials, only 3 in the last six years, and I couldn't claim to have had a good night out, although it's always good to meet people, and I favour supporting any effort to encourage socialising between members. I actually wondered, on one occasion, why I was there when I could have been having fun in my local.
The only reason I would travel to a bigger social would be to meet forumites and chatroom regulars whom I've bantered with over the years. I do sense, however, that I am in a minority, and that most have an underlying desire to find playmates. In that respect I may as well stay local where the bars are full of potential playmates.
Seems to me that same venue socials are too frequent and there are too many of them, after a while it's bound to get a bit boring. Less of and less frequent would be the way forward.
I think Losty, that the reason for most is probably down to finances. Usually attending a social involves a hotel stay, dinner/breakfast, drinks, possibly taxis. For those with children, the cost of childcare, and even arranging the childcare, might be a further issue.
Star, a munch isn't 'sponsored' by the site. It's a munch because it's only organised for members of SH. A munch is usually held in a venue which is self-contained for the occasion, ie. not open to the general public, own bar, own toilets for the munch attendees. Banned members are unable to add themselves to the list, so they can't attend. Details are sent out by PM, so they can't find out the details of the venue, date etc. If someone tells a banned member those details, I believe they may also be subject to a ban. And quite rightly, in my opinion.
A social is open to non-members also. Banned members may be in attendance, but the other attendees should be made aware that there will be non- members or banned members there. I have been to socials where it has been stated on the thread that there will be banned members there; it's then up to me to find out who they are (I believe the organisers have to tell you if asked) and decide whether or not I would still attend, once in possession of their names.
The socials and munches have evaporated as a consequence of the users on this Site evaporating.
Next question?
Speaking as a total neophyte,
I was surprised that there neither Munches nor socials listed on a fulsome and regular basis. As a new joiner to SH and the swinging scene, anything which is seen to help in meeting people and understanding the scene would have been a bonus. (Although I think the reality of a meet would have been way worse than the expectation!)
In actual fact it was the great help from a couple who suggested we go to a club for the first time, who helped us to understand how best to get in to the swinging scene (thanks John & Shell!). Had it not been for that human touch, we would probably still be trying to understand how best to operate.
I note that most of the respondents to this thread are of godlike or similar status. The danger there is that they generate a cosy ‘club culture’ where you only see things from you own well-worn perspective. No offence meant just an observation that it is a VERY steep learning curve for the newbie, and most old timers have forgotten that. The site is littered with uncompleted profiles where I can imagine that the member has just lost heart and doesn’t really know how to begin. If you are new to swinging than you probably have enough on your plate justifying this new and unusual approach to life, without also having to hack through the timewasters who on occasions seem to be 95% or the membership.
This post was meant as an illumination, so I hope nobody takes offence.
Not sure Lost. I'm willing to bet finances have a pretty big part to play though.
) without a social scene myself, I'd be effectively starting from scratch too so again, don't imagine we don't understand the difficulties. It's sad the way things seem to have gone.