ian
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
any ladies in herts want to give me a birthday treat on 24th
Sexlightened
Quote by
my birthday on weds and would love to have a birthday treat.
ian
Well first up HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Now if you could give us a list of what you'd like for your birthday we'll all pop down the shops and get you something.
Oh and if you were expecting to get a fem or couple to help you out on the basis of your post sorry matey it's very highly unlikely to happen - sorry to spoil your birthday plans.
Best pull up a comfy chair and take a look around this site and see the work, effort and time you have to put in to get yourself known to the other peeps on here, sorry but this aint a post and fuck site thank god. If that's what you wanted you'll be better off checking out the escort listings in the back of the local paper.
Sexlightened
Quote by
forgive me,but since when was you a you knew the meaning you wouldn't be on this as for presents ihave enough you i could afford an escort if i wanted one and not the cheap type you'd go for. :shock:
How sad that I get the above sent to me instead of posting it in an open forum for all to read, apparently you only need to be a lady to read or reply to the thread, and know what a lady means to use SH :doh:
Apologies to all fems and couples reading this not all single blokes are like this honestly
Instead mr ian hawkins as a newbie to this site maybe you should look at some of the advice threads on this great site and perhaps improve your attitude towards the folks on here. You may just get what you want.
Me? I'm off for a dirty cheap whore
Leave you to it. Sexlightened
Right my last post on this subject there's far more important things to be doing tonight.
:doh: That's why I tried to help you out by saying:
As for:
We all have feelings mate, if what I said offended you then apologies that's not what I intended to do but if it did then just maybe this site isn't for you, look at the posts and you'll find that folks on here tell it as it is.
Yes it is a let's meet up forum but if you bothered to read the advice and some of the other posts you'll find that adverts saying:
Just never ever get a reply or work on this site, again why I tried to offer some advice.
What's got my goat about this whole episode is that you know f**k all about me but saw fit to send me a pm slagging me off after I'd tried to help you, for f**ks sake grow up or move on.
Quote by
i'm new to this i'm still finding my all make mistakes.
:doh: That's why I tried to help you out by saying:
Quote by kardiffuk
Best pull up a comfy chair and take a look around this site and see the work, effort and time you have to put in to get yourself known to the other peeps on here, sorry but this aint a post and fuck site thank god.
As for:
Quote by
maybe i have feelings as well.
We all have feelings mate, if what I said offended you then apologies that's not what I intended to do but if it did then just maybe this site isn't for you, look at the posts and you'll find that folks on here tell it as it is.
Quote by
must be i thought this page was lets meet up.
Yes it is a let's meet up forum but if you bothered to read the advice and some of the other posts you'll find that adverts saying:
Quote by
my birthday on weds and would love to have a birthday treat.
ian
Just never ever get a reply or work on this site, again why I tried to offer some advice.
What's got my goat about this whole episode is that you know f**k all about me but saw fit to send me a pm slagging me off after I'd tried to help you, for f**ks sake grow up or move on.
Can I say that im not following kardiff around but we just seem to be agreeing on something here. I am FED UP with the newbies PMing me with their tales of big cocks and staying power...you know the type of thing....ENOUGH ALREADY. If I am looking for some mindless sex with no effort of conversation and not even a compliment paid before I take my clothes off I will answer the newbies in the thread or with a PM.
I am very tired of getting these inane PMs and it is always the guys who just arrived on the site and saw the tits on my avatar...I guess....
:
Please. No more. Or at least use your imagination. I am a very friendly girl but I can only take so much and I do like to be wooed.....at least a little.
I thank you. And I thank you Kardiff x
I am very tired of getting these inane PMs and it is always the guys who just arrived on the site and saw the tits on my avatar...I guess....
: Please. No more. Or at least use your imagination. I am a very friendly girl but I can only take so much and I do like to be wooed.....at least a little.
I thank you. And I thank you Kardiff x
Sex God
:doh: Jeez! There are some chancers out there! :doh:
Sexlightened
Quick can someone call the cops there's some bird with strangle tassles in a very kinky place stalking me on this site.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
That's ok hun
, I know where you're coming from and that's why I try to drag us single blokes up and out of the gutter, god knows why though.
Take care for now and see you in the next thread shortly.
PS by the way I've got a small cock and sod all staying power will that do? :shock: :wink: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: That's ok hun
, I know where you're coming from and that's why I try to drag us single blokes up and out of the gutter, god knows why though. Take care for now and see you in the next thread shortly.
PS by the way I've got a small cock and sod all staying power will that do? :shock: :wink: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sexlightened
No please I insist keep following with an avatar like that you won't get me complaining 
hwoar: :lol:
Bye for now.
hwoar: :lol: Bye for now.
Quote by
sorry mr cardiff be i thought this page was lets meet i have feelings as i should never have posted the thread or should have worded it i'm new to this i'm still finding my all make mistakes.
Ian. Hello.
Granted, you have a point, and have been cruelly subjected to Kardiff and me going off on one but it really has happened a lot lately. I know you didnt PM me yourself but generally it is your 'type' that sends me PMs in the hope that I will drop everything for them seeing as they are sooooo much hotter than everyone else...It just gets a bit irritating.
What we're talking here is BRAINS. Use them . ALL you single guys. And not the ones bulging in your pants. It will get you more than a lot of hot air.
Try it.
Luv Bunny x
Sex God
damn... and i had so many plans for you sun.......
oh well.... i'll leave you to stalk kardiff... lol
sean xxxxxxxx
oh well.... i'll leave you to stalk kardiff... lol
sean xxxxxxxx
ops: :oops: Quote by wideload
Wow SunBunny is hopping mad
she needs a lad who wants to shag
I have the chatter and my nobs much fatter
than the other blokes
who just dont matter.
:evil2: :evil2: :evil2:
Classic Wideload. Please dont stop
I nearly fell off my chair
If your knobs fatter and u got chatter
why am i here and u there????
:evil2: :evil2: :evil2:
Classic Wideload. Please dont stop
I nearly fell off my chair
If your knobs fatter and u got chatter
why am i here and u there????
Well you no how it is, to much of a good thing will make you sore.
thats it no more post for a bit, why is it every time I post I get loads of PM's.....
Classic Wideload. Please dont stop
I nearly fell off my chair
If your knobs fatter and u got chatter
why am i here and u there????
Well you no how it is, to much of a good thing will make you sore.
thats it no more post for a bit, why is it every time I post I get loads of PM's.....
Ian, SunBunny, Kardiff et al
I too am a newbie solo male, and I made the same mistake last week, having been let down by a no-show by a young lady I met elsewhere; was consequently as horny as hell and sought someone to play with that day/evening. Luckily no-one picked up on my virtual one-liner, but it gave me the time to look further into the way things seem to be around here.
And one week on I'm still very new but a good deal wiser; no way would I approach someone now, certainly not PM them with any offers to tempt (please note SunBunny in case I say hello to you in a PM), although maybe to find out more about them just to see if there was a chemistry........ Some of the peeps here really do seem to know each other very well (maybe only virtually rather than in real life, granted) and it seems a bit presumptuous to leap in and expect the females to come rushing (or to rush coming perhaps) when no-one knows you at all.
Picture the same in a club or a bar; the concept of walking up to someone and saying "Hey let's fuck" is fantasy. At the very least we're required to show wit, manners, perhaps a little eloquence etc before even coming round to getting good and sweaty together.
That last para reads like a criticism of Ian's posting and it's not supposed to be; as I said, I did the same thing last week, and the lack of response made me look deeper. Am now beginning to understand the protocols of SH and hope I can settle in with all.
Tony.
I too am a newbie solo male, and I made the same mistake last week, having been let down by a no-show by a young lady I met elsewhere; was consequently as horny as hell and sought someone to play with that day/evening. Luckily no-one picked up on my virtual one-liner, but it gave me the time to look further into the way things seem to be around here.
And one week on I'm still very new but a good deal wiser; no way would I approach someone now, certainly not PM them with any offers to tempt (please note SunBunny in case I say hello to you in a PM), although maybe to find out more about them just to see if there was a chemistry........ Some of the peeps here really do seem to know each other very well (maybe only virtually rather than in real life, granted) and it seems a bit presumptuous to leap in and expect the females to come rushing (or to rush coming perhaps) when no-one knows you at all.
Picture the same in a club or a bar; the concept of walking up to someone and saying "Hey let's fuck" is fantasy. At the very least we're required to show wit, manners, perhaps a little eloquence etc before even coming round to getting good and sweaty together.
That last para reads like a criticism of Ian's posting and it's not supposed to be; as I said, I did the same thing last week, and the lack of response made me look deeper. Am now beginning to understand the protocols of SH and hope I can settle in with all.
Tony.
so welcome tony!
you sound switched on . Hope you stick around, we need eloquent thinkers like yourself.
yes swinging heaven is a real community. I am relatively new myself and have found a new home. (thank u all.....hours of entertainment and real sound people)
so sit down and enjoy the party. Just dont expect to have a life any more .... :shock: your eyes will hurt but you will be smiling
bye for now xx
you sound switched on . Hope you stick around, we need eloquent thinkers like yourself.
yes swinging heaven is a real community. I am relatively new myself and have found a new home. (thank u all.....hours of entertainment and real sound people)
so sit down and enjoy the party. Just dont expect to have a life any more .... :shock: your eyes will hurt but you will be smiling
bye for now xx
Mod
It's difficult to precisely say what works and what doesn't at times. I've been here since Adam was a lad and even I struggle at times and nearly everyone knows me or has already met me!
Take this post:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/27923.html
3 pages long, had a great laugh throughout the time it was running, but still didn't achieve its' aim.Idid, but only from answering someone elses' ad!! The only thing I can say is one-liners do not work, neither do 'fancy a shag?' unless you know them well. Being known is no guarentee of success either, but you stand a damn sight more chance of success (whatever success is), than if you're not known. Time spent joining in and getting to know folk is time well spent. Do it.
Mal
Take this post:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/27923.html
3 pages long, had a great laugh throughout the time it was running, but still didn't achieve its' aim.Idid, but only from answering someone elses' ad!! The only thing I can say is one-liners do not work, neither do 'fancy a shag?' unless you know them well. Being known is no guarentee of success either, but you stand a damn sight more chance of success (whatever success is), than if you're not known. Time spent joining in and getting to know folk is time well spent. Do it.
Mal
I seem to keep jumping into other peoples threads, this message is for sun bunny, in response to some of your earlier comments in this thread i too was impressed by your apples and did pm you but only after seeking permission. I am not a complete 'newby' and whi;st I expect our ultimate intentions are all the same, initially I was hoping to establish a dialog with you as unlike most of the members on the site we actaully live near enough to make a potential meeting a reallity if things went that way. I did not mean to offend and assume from the lack of reply to my pm that I have been placed in the catagory of a one line fuck hunter. This is not the case as some of the other members on here will confirm.
that said I always enjoy reading your stuff (and looking at your apples) even if you disregard mine.
happy posting
that said I always enjoy reading your stuff (and looking at your apples) even if you disregard mine.
happy posting
Quote by racer3
I seem to keep jumping into other peoples threads, this message is for sun bunny, in response to some of your earlier comments in this thread i too was impressed by your apples and did pm you but only after seeking permission. I am not a complete 'newby' and whi;st I expect our ultimate intentions are all the same, initially I was hoping to establish a dialog with you as unlike most of the members on the site we actaully live near enough to make a potential meeting a reallity if things went that way. I did not mean to offend and assume from the lack of reply to my pm that I have been placed in the catagory of a one line fuck hunter. This is not the case as some of the other members on here will confirm.
that said I always enjoy reading your stuff (and looking at your apples) even if you disregard mine.
happy posting
Thanks.
Sorry if I didnt reply. Just been hectic lately and there must have been something in the PM that made me hold back...cant remember know if I'm honest. ...
