Dear all genuine swingers
I have been reading some of the other posts on the website (which I have to say is a fantastic medium to meet people) which outline that you have to be genuine to be able to become part of the swinging community. If this is correct how do you demonstrate that you are genuine? Is my other posting too direct or, not direct enough? As I am new to swinging I need help on refining my style can anybody please demonstrate to me how to be taken seriously on this website as a genuine swinger? I feel that some (not all) of the established swingers resent inexperienced (leave it!!) swingers who make easy mistakes in their first postings (which I am sure that I have done) but, unless somebody points out what is wrong with my post how can I be taken seriously?
I am not on here for easy sex, there are infact far easier places to find sex (I am sure you all know some!!!) but, I want to meet like minded people to broaden my outlook on life and meet people who want to enjoy the pleasures that each can give (use you imagination).
Please excuse any typos and I would love as many replies as people can provide.
Thanks for reading the full post,
John,
P.S. If I need to got to a munch as mentioned in other postings can you tell me which is the nearest to me (portsmouth) and how I know where, when and what to expect when i get there? I can not use the chatroom for the fear of the software being detected which would jepordise my position in my shared house.
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HOW TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY???
Hi,
I know that there are far more experienced people on this site who will be able to write a lot better response to this than I can, although, from what i've been seeing over the last few weeks, a lot of SH regulars (especially the mods, who do a fantastic job and don't get enough praise) are probably bored/fed up of replying to posts like these.
So, as i've little else to do before i dissapear to bed to think impure thoughts, i thought i'd say howdy.
There is no "one true way" to make people believe that you are genuine, although there are plenty of wrong ways. Having just read the reply you sent to bobnlinda (i thnk it was them, excuse me if i'm wrong, i'm very tired!), I can't see that there was anything wrong, as such, in what you wrote. It's just that, especially with the new wave of interest in swinging/dogging fueled by the latest media happenings, single males who have only been members of SH for a few days and only made a few posts, no matter how genuine and honest their intentions will probably not be taken seriously and people will, no matter how harsh it may seem, be cautios at first.
If you've been reading other threads similar to this then you'll already know this, but the only way to really get anywhere is to make posts, contribute to on-going discussions etc (visit The Cafe, it's a fantastic place) and let people get to know who you are, what you're like as a person etc, as opposed to simply who you are looking to sleep with and what you like in terms of sex.
Get to know other people on here, strike up friendships, get chatting and get involved. I'm not saying that doing this will garauntee you any sucsess, but you're a million times more likely to find what you're looking for this way than you are by simply visiting the "Let's Meet Up" and Dogging forum and posting about wanting to meet people for fun.
I know somebody in another similar thread (my appologies for not remembering who it was, but at least it shows i take notice lol!) likened it to walking up to a bunch of strangers and asking for a shag. It wouldn't work there, and it won't work on here. Yes, a large part of swinging and things of a sexual nature, but that doesn't mean that the place is crawling with sluts and man-whores who'll get it away with anybody who asks. And if you'd care to stick around and chat to people, you'll find that it isn't just about sex in here, it's about so much more, including, but in no way, shape or form limited to, friendships and good ol' fashioned banter between like-minded lads 'n' lasses.
There's a certain amount of "Paying Dues" that comes attached with being a single male, not just here at SH but in the scene in general. There are hundreds, probably thousands of us who , at one point in our lives, seek to be involved in the scene and lifestyle.
Some of us are deadly serious, and are prepared to stick it out, make a hard effort to get to know people and spend many a cold night hanging around dogging sites with no joy, but if we are truelly genuine, then we won't mind sticking it out, as it's as much fun just fun just learning and getting to know things as it is arranging your first meet.
There are others who, may spend a week, a month tops, and havn't got their end away, who then decide that it's all a load of bullshit and go back to trying to pull some drunk slapper on a Friday night.
I know that I'm still finding my feet here at SH, and I'm prepared to do that for a good while. I'm not a newbie into the swinging scene (despite my boyish good looks, youth, (and modesty), i've been involved in this for a good while now, and have been members of other websites. - At the risk of sounding like a suck-up, i'd just like to point out that none where as good as this one), but I am, and still will be for a good while, a newbie here at SH.
Hang on in there, and if you are "genuine" then you won't need to officially establish that fact, in time, it'll just be a given.
One other thing, in your sig, you mentioned that you were looking to meet ladies, no mention of couples, or if you're just into watching or whatever.
If you are just into meeting women for fun, then seriously, good luck with that!! Imagine all of the single men who are into this, and who come on this site, stand side by side, front to back etc. We would fill every square inch of europe, whilst the single women would probably just about fill my hall way (now there's a lovely thought, single women in my hallway lol!!).
I'm sorry if this has sounded like a rant/piss take or whatever, and i'm sorry to all those who have been here ages who have read all these things, and more, in the many other similar threads and are probably sick of reading. I'm sorry if it wasn't my place to say any of this, and i'm sorry that i say sorry way too much! But, as I said, i had little else to do, so thought i'd add my views/comments/opinions.
I know that there are far more experienced people on this site who will be able to write a lot better response to this than I can, although, from what i've been seeing over the last few weeks, a lot of SH regulars (especially the mods, who do a fantastic job and don't get enough praise) are probably bored/fed up of replying to posts like these.
So, as i've little else to do before i dissapear to bed to think impure thoughts, i thought i'd say howdy.
There is no "one true way" to make people believe that you are genuine, although there are plenty of wrong ways. Having just read the reply you sent to bobnlinda (i thnk it was them, excuse me if i'm wrong, i'm very tired!), I can't see that there was anything wrong, as such, in what you wrote. It's just that, especially with the new wave of interest in swinging/dogging fueled by the latest media happenings, single males who have only been members of SH for a few days and only made a few posts, no matter how genuine and honest their intentions will probably not be taken seriously and people will, no matter how harsh it may seem, be cautios at first.
If you've been reading other threads similar to this then you'll already know this, but the only way to really get anywhere is to make posts, contribute to on-going discussions etc (visit The Cafe, it's a fantastic place) and let people get to know who you are, what you're like as a person etc, as opposed to simply who you are looking to sleep with and what you like in terms of sex.
Get to know other people on here, strike up friendships, get chatting and get involved. I'm not saying that doing this will garauntee you any sucsess, but you're a million times more likely to find what you're looking for this way than you are by simply visiting the "Let's Meet Up" and Dogging forum and posting about wanting to meet people for fun.
I know somebody in another similar thread (my appologies for not remembering who it was, but at least it shows i take notice lol!) likened it to walking up to a bunch of strangers and asking for a shag. It wouldn't work there, and it won't work on here. Yes, a large part of swinging and things of a sexual nature, but that doesn't mean that the place is crawling with sluts and man-whores who'll get it away with anybody who asks. And if you'd care to stick around and chat to people, you'll find that it isn't just about sex in here, it's about so much more, including, but in no way, shape or form limited to, friendships and good ol' fashioned banter between like-minded lads 'n' lasses.
There's a certain amount of "Paying Dues" that comes attached with being a single male, not just here at SH but in the scene in general. There are hundreds, probably thousands of us who , at one point in our lives, seek to be involved in the scene and lifestyle.
Some of us are deadly serious, and are prepared to stick it out, make a hard effort to get to know people and spend many a cold night hanging around dogging sites with no joy, but if we are truelly genuine, then we won't mind sticking it out, as it's as much fun just fun just learning and getting to know things as it is arranging your first meet.
There are others who, may spend a week, a month tops, and havn't got their end away, who then decide that it's all a load of bullshit and go back to trying to pull some drunk slapper on a Friday night.
I know that I'm still finding my feet here at SH, and I'm prepared to do that for a good while. I'm not a newbie into the swinging scene (despite my boyish good looks, youth, (and modesty), i've been involved in this for a good while now, and have been members of other websites. - At the risk of sounding like a suck-up, i'd just like to point out that none where as good as this one), but I am, and still will be for a good while, a newbie here at SH.
Hang on in there, and if you are "genuine" then you won't need to officially establish that fact, in time, it'll just be a given.
One other thing, in your sig, you mentioned that you were looking to meet ladies, no mention of couples, or if you're just into watching or whatever.
If you are just into meeting women for fun, then seriously, good luck with that!! Imagine all of the single men who are into this, and who come on this site, stand side by side, front to back etc. We would fill every square inch of europe, whilst the single women would probably just about fill my hall way (now there's a lovely thought, single women in my hallway lol!!).
I'm sorry if this has sounded like a rant/piss take or whatever, and i'm sorry to all those who have been here ages who have read all these things, and more, in the many other similar threads and are probably sick of reading. I'm sorry if it wasn't my place to say any of this, and i'm sorry that i say sorry way too much! But, as I said, i had little else to do, so thought i'd add my views/comments/opinions.
Well put Krissxxx 
Can't really add much to that. There really isn't a right and wrong way to go about it. I prefer the friendship route with swinging as a bonus. But there are also loads of people that do prefer the more anonymous, straight down to it way.
And don't worry about making mistakes on here! People may take the mickey, but it's usually good natured, happens to all of us
- and at least it gets you noticed in the crowd 
Just be yourself, let people get to know you attend the odd munch to meet like minded people. Although Munches are purely social, they're great for putting faces to names etc ...... she says hopefully as my first one will be on Saturday :bounce:!
There was talk of a Munch being held in Arundel, that's close to you.
Can't really add much to that. There really isn't a right and wrong way to go about it. I prefer the friendship route with swinging as a bonus. But there are also loads of people that do prefer the more anonymous, straight down to it way.
And don't worry about making mistakes on here! People may take the mickey, but it's usually good natured, happens to all of us
- and at least it gets you noticed in the crowd Just be yourself, let people get to know you attend the odd munch to meet like minded people. Although Munches are purely social, they're great for putting faces to names etc ...... she says hopefully as my first one will be on Saturday :bounce:!
There was talk of a Munch being held in Arundel, that's close to you.
Thanks to you both,
I really appreciate the reply. I was unsure what response I would get from such a posting. As a newbie I did not know what to put on my posting. i realise that there are far more men accessing this site and trying to use it as an easy medium to get an easy lay but, how do you separate yourself from this - is it as you mentioned patience and persitance?? I do want to go to a Munch (I must admit I am unsure what is involved in a munch, much to my embarassment ) and to dogging sites but, I feel a little shy and intimidated by the whole thing.
I realise that i have to put the work in to meet people but, as i can not down load the software for the fear of it being found on my computer and jepordising my position in the shared house (it is hard enough dodgying between windows when my flat mates ask me what I am doing!!) how do I do this? I can respond to postings but, who are the established and genuine swingers like yourselves who would reply, again, is it just trial and error?
Thanks for all the effort you both put into your postings. I will learn from what you have put.
I would like to meet couples as well but did not know whether to write this in my posting. :dunno:
John
I really appreciate the reply. I was unsure what response I would get from such a posting. As a newbie I did not know what to put on my posting. i realise that there are far more men accessing this site and trying to use it as an easy medium to get an easy lay but, how do you separate yourself from this - is it as you mentioned patience and persitance?? I do want to go to a Munch (I must admit I am unsure what is involved in a munch, much to my embarassment
) and to dogging sites but, I feel a little shy and intimidated by the whole thing.I realise that i have to put the work in to meet people but, as i can not down load the software for the fear of it being found on my computer and jepordising my position in the shared house (it is hard enough dodgying between windows when my flat mates ask me what I am doing!!) how do I do this? I can respond to postings but, who are the established and genuine swingers like yourselves who would reply, again, is it just trial and error?
Thanks for all the effort you both put into your postings. I will learn from what you have put.
I would like to meet couples as well but did not know whether to write this in my posting. :dunno:
John
