I need to share my experience last night at a meet with a couple, to express the safety issues us single males probably dont take into account!!!
The meet was arranged with a couple from here and i went to their house. Some small talk took place then we sat down on the sofa .
to cut a long story short, i was told its oral with a condom, my chappy hates condoms, but ALWAYS wear one for sex, but have never been asked to for oral..
i just quipped "it may take a time for the old chap to get up" to be told, well go then! in a unfriendly voice (from the male)
With that i said ok, as i wasnt going to be spoken to like that, and at this point did feel a bit uneasy!!
At this point, im still half naked and the male squares up to me in a very threatening manner, and eventually throws a punch. i tell him im not going to fight (being half naked in someone elses house in this situation does make you feel a bit vulnerable!!)
Then again throws another punch, i try my best to restrain him, in the process he tries to gouge out my right eye, leaving me with deep scratch marks around my eye socket.
Bottles and glasses smashed, im still half naked, trying to head for the door.i eventually get out, again, outside he squares up!
I get into my car, he tries to smash my drivers side window, and i sped off, still half naked!!!
Guys, be very careful when on meets, you never know who you are meeting, what they are like, and believe me, if anything does happen, you are in a very vulnerable situation!!!!!
I will add that the lady, was not involved in the assault at all, she left the room!!!!
are they from here?maybe a quick note 2 admin?
maybe thats just the way they like their meets 2 work..n shag 1 another like crazy after u gone.
we always meet peeps in a pub or somewhere 1st and see how it goes
Omg, sounds nasty!
The trouble is, even if you meet someone in public first, they might seem the nicest of people until you are at there house :-)
I think it's very very rare something like this will happen it's just you was unlucky enough for it to happen to.
I would do what twos_company said though and report them so admin can look into it because if they are like that then they need stopping!
Sorry for the bad experience you got, don't let it stop you though as a large majority of us are nice peeps.
Tony ;-)
Bloody hell! What is this world coming to? I have to admit I have a tenancy to throw caution to the wind and just figure things out as I go along. It's never let me down....yet!
This sums up exactly why we prefer meets at clubs !! Any problems at a club, loads of people, maybe even bouncers to sort it out for you.
Of course once we get to know people, we'd meet at hotels or houses, but for an initial meet, has to be a club.
Having said that, its surprising how many couples and indeed single males say they won't meet at clubs........fair enough........good luck !!
John & Shel
Hiya,
sorry to hear about your bad experience, it gives nice couples a bad name, you should name and shame them on here so for two reasons, so no one else will be put in that same situation and that admin gets to know and they get kicked off SH, you really should report them they should not get away with treating you like this. Hope your ok and it hasnt put you off meets.
Take care
Jon & Beth xx
Hello there,you alright? Thank you for sharing this with us single males,always is better know what is going on!Hope that you going to be fine,don't let your self down,all the best! Lets see if the site will take some charge with those bad members,that is no good to anyone and of course to the site,so site administration do something about it!
It must have been a scary situation. I am still careful meeting couples, even though most of my meets we chat/talk a while before we meet.
I wonder how many men actually tell mates they are going on new meets and give details etc just incase something happens.
It is the responsibility of the aggreived who was assaulted to bring it to the attention of the police , and I do have some understand of the law.
If he does not want to make a report then there is not much else that can happen here unfortunately .
Saying that SH are aware that there " MAY " be a person on there site that has used its facilities to meet people and "MAY " of assaulted someone also using this site.
Unless the male assaulted tells SH and names him/them there is nothing SH can do, BUT if SH are aware of this person then offering a paid service to its members it has a duty of care to either
1/ investigate , no action taken
2/ Investigate and warn EITHER EVERYONE or more realistically speak to the person who has been named and get there version , and also spell out what may happen if there is another occurrence.
3/ BANN if found to have substance
3/ INFORM THE POLICE
kev
this couple should defo me named shamed and booted off of the site--admin sort it out....
Please remember that we only have 1 side of a story so far , I am not saying it is not true, but remember for positive FAIR action to be taken , all the equations need to be heard so a decison can be made.
If we are missing any of the pieces , a true picture and more importantly a fair response cannot take place.
JUST BOOT THEM OFF is not a fair way to act really is it.
I believe innocent until proven guilty still stands in the uk.
kev
I wasn't going to weigh-in on this one, but having seen the responses, I can't hold back any more, so:
1. The original message was a warning to others to take care and adequate precautions - this holds true for any type or combination of meeting.
2. Naming and shaming is potentially libellous - that's just the law, plain and simple.
3. If there was an assault, it's a police matter - again - that's the law.
4. There is a facility to report site ause - this should be done and that's the end of it as far as the law is concerned, UNLESS.... any party was found (during subsequent investiagtion) to be complicit in the event.
This is a public forum and there are no guarantees who or what people are .... therefore you should ALWAYS take precautions for your own safety.
As has been said before, there are two sides to each story and the ONLY people who know what happened are those who were present. I'm not suggesting that this is not a true account, but that only they know what happened. If a criminal act had been perpetrated, it is the responsibility of the injured party to bring it to the attnetion of the police - only they can deal with it.
NB: If there was shown to be a criminal act (proven via a court verdict) then it should be considered by the injured party to report it to the site.
Nothing else can be done.
PS. Imagine how easy it would be to have someone you don't like banned ?
PPS. Dannybrut - if this is what happened to you - I'm truly sorry for you chap - take care in future - trust nothing of what you read and only half of what you see.
," is too low a grade of intelligence even for the police to act upon. He needs to contact them to make a statement, not post it anonymously on a website."
Jesus christ...i posted the original thread to warn others that this happens and to be careful!!!
if i wanted to get people banned, i would named and shamed and reported to admin.
If i want to take legal action i will, i dont need people to tell me what i can or cant do.
they actually had a video camera running ready to film the meet, so everything is there, even if they try to delete it, its still recoverable from the hard drive, if i ever need to prove anything!!
I really cant believe that people have picked apart things i have said in the thread.........yes it is one side of the story, but if i was making anything up, to get a member in trouble i wouldve named them!!!!
im not sure if im going to take it further, i want to, but the only reason thats stopping me is the lady.
she had nothing to do with it, and the last thing i would want is to have her involved in legal proceedings labelled as a "swinger"
As i said before, its just a warning to others......im not looking for advice (believe me i dont need that)
i am very proud of myself how i handled the situation, i never became an aggressor, i tried to restrain and leave.
those that know me would tell you if i was the aggressor, it would be a totally different story!
thanks to everyone who messaged me asking if im ok, it was appreciated.
now mods if you would like to lock this thread i would appreciate it......
ive met danny at a party and he was one of the best guys weve met, as for all the bo**ox, put on here about admin can cant wont will and all the legal shit, my friend got a life ban for wearing a t shirt that simply said f off to a mod.
that's more than we have managed :sad:
