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Why Am I Here??

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Hi! I am a newbie although I have lurked for quite a while. I am a reasonably attractive, self effacing, humorous and honest 43yr old 6ft 2" blue eyed boy. I am married but have had several mistresses for the last 10 years. My last beautiful girlfriend has decided that two years is enough and has gone on to pastures new with my blessing.
We discovered the pleasures of swinging, both in the UK and abroad, and living an occasional, but regular, hedonistic lifestyle with plenty of the finer things in life plus the most mindblowing sex I have ever encountered.
I am looking to share my new found knowledge and experiences with another
young(ish), beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent woman. What's in it for her? A kind considerate generous lover and friend. A regular taste of the champagne lifestyle, wonderful sex with each other and other people.
I am not sure whether or not this is the place to be looking but it seemed a sensible start for me. As with most people on this board I am fed up with silly girls playing silly dating games. I am a 100% genuine person and very serious about finding the right person, for both of our sake.
I would be very interested and grateful to hear comments from those in the know, or from anyone who likes what I say.
Love to you all
JD xx
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Jason,
If i was a woman then I would be interested - nice first post!
Good Luck
That's a nice first post there!!! If I was particularly looking then I would be interested....if you ever fancy a one-off or a weekend away let me know wink
Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately I am looking for something longer term.
JD xx
Hi Jason,
what a coincidence, Danger is my middle name..actually no it's not it's John, but i couldnt resist lol
Tim
Awww that a lovely post i hope u find wht ya loookin for gud luck hun xxxxx :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: smile wink
T & L xxx
Quote by Jason Danger
Hi! I am a newbie although I have lurked for quite a while. I am a reasonably attractive, self effacing, humorous and honest 43yr old 6ft 2" blue eyed boy. I am married but have had several mistresses for the last 10 years. My last beautiful girlfriend has decided that two years is enough and has gone on to pastures new with my blessing.
JD xx
Click to View my Advert

How can you say you are honest, if you're cheating on your wife? Never mind cheating by swinging with your girlfriend without your wife knowing. How do you justify that?
Quote by burnie
Hi! I am a newbie although I have lurked for quite a while. I am a reasonably attractive, self effacing, humorous and honest 43yr old 6ft 2" blue eyed boy. I am married but have had several mistresses for the last 10 years. My last beautiful girlfriend has decided that two years is enough and has gone on to pastures new with my blessing.
JD xx
Click to View my Advert

How can you say you are honest, if you're cheating on your wife? Never mind cheating by swinging with your girlfriend without your wife knowing. How do you justify that?
quiet right burnie
:thumbup:
Nice post. Best of luck to you cool
Quote by burnie
Hi! I am a newbie although I have lurked for quite a while. I am a reasonably attractive, self effacing, humorous and honest 43yr old 6ft 2" blue eyed boy. I am married but have had several mistresses for the last 10 years. My last beautiful girlfriend has decided that two years is enough and has gone on to pastures new with my blessing.
JD xx
Click to View my Advert

How can you say you are honest, if you're cheating on your wife? Never mind cheating by swinging with your girlfriend without your wife knowing. How do you justify that?
I apologise if what I say offends. What I mean is that I am honest with the people I meet. My "extra curricular" activities are what keeps me going. Yes I deceive my family but without my foibles I wouldn't be able to continue my "normal" life. That is just the way I am - I am faithful to my girlfriends tho'.
JD
Cheating always eventually ends in disaster. It will catch up with you and somebody always pays. Whether it's hurt spouses, resentful kids, friends who cover for you, girlfriends who decide they want you to themselves, etc.
I've never seen it end differently. Good luck
Tim,you nicked that gag from eddie izzard,its still a good gag though
Quote by burnie
Cheating always eventually ends in disaster. It will catch up with you and somebody always pays. Whether it's hurt spouses, resentful kids, friends who cover for you, girlfriends who decide they want you to themselves, etc.
I've never seen it end differently. Good luck

How right you are, but consider this.
Sometimes you come to a time of life when the sexual side of marriage dies away. You probably still love each other dearly. This is OK if it happens to both of you, however if one of you is left feeling very frustrated, due to the lack of interest of the other, where do you go from there. I would suggest 3 choices if the marriage is to continue.
1) Accept the situation and all the bad feelings and rows that go with it.
2) Find a lover, and that's when Burnies scenario kicks in.
3) My personal choice, go dogging ocasionally, keep it NSA, and keep it to yourself.
Don't always be quick to judge the lone married males, they might just be trying to save there sanity and marriage
Yes. it's not the actual physical act that hurts; it's the relationship with someone else that does. You can still have a relationship with your partner even if the sexual side is gone, and if you don't, you should let them go.
No strings attached is much easier to cope with.
Quote by ricochet
Don't always be quick to judge the lone married males, they might just be trying to save there sanity and marriage

Bit sexist there ricochet ???
Quote by ricochet
Cheating always eventually ends in disaster. It will catch up with you and somebody always pays. Whether it's hurt spouses, resentful kids, friends who cover for you, girlfriends who decide they want you to themselves, etc.
I've never seen it end differently. Good luck

How right you are, but consider this.
Sometimes you come to a time of life when the sexual side of marriage dies away. You probably still love each other dearly. This is OK if it happens to both of you, however if one of you is left feeling very frustrated, due to the lack of interest of the other, where do you go from there. I would suggest 3 choices if the marriage is to continue.
1) Accept the situation and all the bad feelings and rows that go with it.
2) Find a lover, and that's when Burnies scenario kicks in.
3) My personal choice, go dogging ocasionally, keep it NSA, and keep it to yourself.

This is too close for comfort... there is option 4, Divorce.... Phoenix - recently singled male.
Despite what you may think, you will get hurt. Think seriously, if you are the only one in the relationship with these ideas, it will end in pain.
Shit, there goes my chance of ever getting a meet
First, thanks to everybody for taking what I said seriously, and not beating me over the head with the 'My wife doesn't understand me' stereotype.
Read your thread Sexysteph and it is exactly the reason I stick strictly to NSA dogging.
BTW I hate to say this but I've been there and got the T shirt 25 years ago, and ended up taking option 4. Never again, and it wasn't me doing the cheating.
I think my wife probably suspects that I get upto something but knows that I would never be stupid enough to get involved in a relationship. We have a great marriage and love each other (and the cat) very much, but my hormones wont let me wither away just yet
Quote by TallSexyLondon
Jason,
If i was a woman then I would be interested - nice first post!
Good Luck

No it isn't. There's a bit of hypocrisy going on here. We regularly get guys posting here saying :''I'm married but my wife a) has become frigid b) is ill or c) variations thereof. And he gets shot down in flames. And I mean flames! 'This is a Swingers site for consenting couples'. 'You are cheating on your wife and we don't condone that.' Threads get locked.
But somehow this original post was more thoughtful. The spelling was OK. There was no text-speak. The air of desperation of the frustrated young was absent. And so we reply positively, we encourage him.
HE'S STILL CHEATING!
Is there a little intellectual snobbery going on here?
Jezzay.
Welcome to the site Jason - I hope you find what you are looking for!! :thumbup: :thumbup:
Quote by Sexysteph
Jason,
If i was a woman then I would be interested - nice first post!
Good Luck

No it isn't. There's a bit of hypocrisy going on here. We regularly get guys posting here saying :''I'm married but my wife a) has become frigid b) is ill or c) variations thereof. And he gets shot down in flames. And I mean flames! 'This is a Swingers site for consenting couples'. 'You are cheating on your wife and we don't condone that.' Threads get locked.
But somehow this original post was more thoughtful. The spelling was OK. There was no text-speak. The air of desperation of the frustrated young was absent. And so we reply positively, we encourage him.
HE'S STILL CHEATING!
Is there a little intellectual snobbery going on here?
Jezzay.
Jezzay that's why I linked back to my post in the steam room - it is cheating and as a result can have implications for his family. I get the impression he is not looking for recreational sex between consenting adults which is what swinging is about but more a relationship which clearly puts it as an affair so why seek that on a swingers site?
Steph
It looks as if most of us are in agreement here. I was a bit rattled because this evening I got emailed by another married non-swinger. We had met but it became clear his wife was not involved at all. He still wants to meet and it's hard to explain the morality here. It's as if they're thinking 'Yeh but you have fun with a load of people at the same time therefore you are a no-good whore - an easy lay - and will sleep with me.' Even when I told this guy I had a 1-to-1 partner (single) and a swinging partner (also single) he didn't give up. I despair.
Jezzay.
I find the math doesn't add up for Monsieur Danger. If he is only 43, and has kept mistresses for 10 of those, he would have started at 33. Now you don't just wake up one day and decide to cheat on your wife. So maybe take him back to 30. He might have been married 14 years at the very very most extreme. To decide to resign your marriage to a sexless partnership and effectively share your life with other women from that age, is cruel. He also says he wants 'young-ish' women to share hedonistic pleasures and the champagne lifestyle.
Unless his wife is in a coma, even if she is disabled or whatever, she could still find someone else who would love and care for her and not cheat, while in her 20s or early 30s.
To have NSA sex or prostitutes, fair enough. But an affair is about sharing your feelings, thoughts, dreams, money, problems, etc with someone else; and that's the unfairness of what Mr Danger is doing.
So is he with her for the kids? for prestigue because she is higher class than him? so he doesn't have to give her a divorce settlement? does he work for her Daddy? or is it because he's an arrogant, selfish man more concerned with his own happiness than in the impending pain he is going to create?
To promise young women all the goods and emotion, without the commitment, I don't know. Yet to advertise for it??? Yes he writes well, but it's manipulation.
Quote by jezzay
It looks as if most of us are in agreement here. I was a bit rattled because this evening I got emailed by another married non-swinger. We had met but it became clear his wife was not involved at all. He still wants to meet and it's hard to explain the morality here. It's as if they're thinking 'Yeh but you have fun with a load of people at the same time therefore you are a no-good whore - an easy lay - and will sleep with me.' Even when I told this guy I had a 1-to-1 partner (single) and a swinging partner (also single) he didn't give up. I despair.
Jezzay.

Hey Jezzay don't despair, come and have a glass of wine with me in a pub on Monday, you know I would find it a pleasure at last just to meet you in person for a chat, instead of always typing to you on here sad PM me to let me know either way please.
Kind regards
Harry Jones
Nice post hun, hope you find what you are looking for!
wink
i am not going to get moralisitc because most people know where i stand on the subject....
however i read this and would ask any person who is cheating as such is this worth it...
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/60800.html
are you peter stringfellow in disguise?
i hope your ex mistress appreciated your blessing to move on.....very noble of ya.
all the best with your search.....although i think ill stick with my orange cordial, something about your champagne doesnt sit right.
Thanks to you all for your nice comments and your criticism. Everything I said was true. I discovered who and what I am too late. Since then I have absolutely been having my cake and eating it.
I defy any man in my position to deny himself the pleasures of a wonderful family life combined with another life of pure unadulterated hedonism.
I came on this site because swinging is an integral part of what I am looking for.
I will retire gracefully now and shelter from the firestorm my post created.
Good luck to you all
All the best
JD xx
As another married male who posts here alone, I thought I would add my ha'porth worth.
People can be in committed relationships but still want external fun. I agree that committed affairs do usually bring pain but the NSA variety if reall can be fun and exciting. Having had a couple or three "affairs" I can vouch that it was not me who started breaching the NSA credo but the ladies who became more attached than they first planned. My latest, who has recently given me the elbow stated quite clearly "I like you more than I should and I don't want to know that you have a wife and children that occupy most of your time." This was despite the very clear ground rules that were set at the beginning. Humans are not biologically meant to be monogamous, it is bad for the gene pool!
Probably enough I will get my coat
The thing I would worry about is the girl who gets too clingy who finds a way to let your family know she exists. It happened when my Mom had an affair. My dad found out from some mystery phone call, and life shattered around our feet, never to be rebuilt again even though my parents are still together in body.
Can you guys not just swing WITH your wives like any normal swinger? Why all the sordid sneaking around? If you're married to someone you can't swing with, then rethink who you're married to so no one else gets hurt.
You're obviously hurting the girls you're having affairs with too.
I see where you are coming from and don't really disagree with your sincerely held view. but................... what are views on just camming then I am being realstic here as the opportunities to meet are few and far between
Quote by jezzay
Jason,
If i was a woman then I would be interested - nice first post!
Good Luck

'This is a Swingers site for consenting couples'. 'You are cheating on your wife and we don't condone that.' Threads get locked.
Jezzay.
So this site is only for consenting couples is it? Well that explains a lot!!!!!!
Mind you if it was just for consenting couples it couldnt possily get as many hits per day as it does(not unless every married couple in Britain are "seingers"), certainly a quick look at the ads section will show its got a hell of a lot of singles and single marrieds using it!!
I always think when the condemnations start, appearing how interesting it would be if the people posting declared their marital status. My guess is that a lot of people giving advice on how married couples should behave are actually single and have (a number of) failled realtionships behind them