why bother with relationships

2 Jan 2006

dave here reason for joining swinging heaven i caught my girlfriend in bed with my brother it,s put me off serious relationships for good this happened 2 months ago i still feel low about it xmas was the worst not asking for sympathy but what,s the point in getting involved in a serious relationshis what do you think sad

2 Jan 2006

Hiya Dave
:welcome: to the site. Sorry you've had a rough time of it, but your question's a bit difficult to answer.
I don't know if you've mistook "swinging" to mean "people who are looking for a quick shag with anyone", but most of the couples who swing can do so because they have a solid, trusting and honest relationship.

2 Jan 2006

Hi SexyDavey, welcome to the site and as HLB as said, so sorry you have had a rough time of it.
As for the question of relationships, well I supose I am lucky in so much as I have never been hurt how you have, but if no matter how much I love sex, if I had the choice of loads of sex, or a sexless relationship with my hubby, then the second would win hands down evertime. Relationships are a lot more than just sex.
I also think I should reiterate what HLB also said, this is a swinging site not a quick shag site, and 'proper' swinging requires a certain amount of (dare I say) self satisfaction and confidence. From your post, I really dont think that the way you are feeling at the moment is the ideal time for you to think about swinging.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the luck in the world wink

2 Jan 2006

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Hi SexyDavey, welcome to the site and as HLB as said, so sorry you have had a rough time of it.
As for the question of relationships, well I supose I am lucky in so much as I have never been hurt how you have, but if no matter how much I love sex, if I had the choice of loads of sex, or a sexless relationship with my hubby, then the second would win hands down evertime. Relationships are a lot more than just sex.
I also think I should reiterate what HLB also said, this is a swinging site not a quick shag site, and 'proper' swinging requires a certain amount of (dare I say) self satisfaction and confidence. From your post, I really dont think that the way you are feeling at the moment is the ideal time for you to think about swinging.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the luck in the world

Absolutely agree with this - think very carefully Davey and good luck whatever you decide to do. biggrin

2 Jan 2006

Sorry to add to the lonely hearts club but my fiance ran off with another man before xmas so know how you feel mate . . . it's all shit !
This site will put you in touch with swingers but I can say that you will waste many hours trying to get a quick shag on here
Cheers "opened a beer for all the residents of heatbreak hotel"
SC

2 Jan 2006

Quote by sexy davey
dave here reason for joining swinging heaven i caught my girlfriend in bed with my brother it,s put me off serious relationships for good this happened 2 months ago i still feel low about it xmas was the worst not asking for sympathy but what,s the point in getting involved in a serious relationshis what do you think

And you feel this is a sound reason for joining a swinging site?
Sorry mate - I would normally take the piss out of this - but I am in a strangely mild mood today.
I personally think it is not a good reason - in fact I think it is a really bad idea.
1 - as a single guy joining a community flooded with single guys - you will have to continuously cope with rejection - something that will just add to your current low.
2 - lets say you do get lucky and click with someone - how will you feel when they jump in bed with someone else in front of you - will that drag up the past and the feelings you wish to lose?
3 - people who actually enjoy swinging, without any upset, are secure in their feelings about relationships (generally speaking). You it seems are not and are going through a phase.
4 - couples who are swingers are in serious relationships - secure, trusting, serious real life relationships - swinging is recreational.
5 - Just because a woman is on a swinging site it doesn't mean they are not a bunny-boiler! Beware.
I could go on - but .... I won't at this time.
Have a think - may be somewhere a bit more vanilla with people looking for casual flings would be more up your street.

2 Jan 2006

I've never had a Girlfirend, so I have yet to lose one (yay) although I have lost them before I actually managed to get them, if that counts.

2 Jan 2006

Quote by CuddlySimon
I've never had a Girlfirend, so I have yet to lose one (yay) although I have lost them before I actually managed to get them, if that counts.

i lost one ,she was under the bed lol

4 Jan 2006

best thing is to get a girlfriend that likes to shag and is honest about it. Get involved with her as a swinging couple - at least that's "honest". You do need to be secure with each other to swing. My wife and I did some sexy stuff a few years back; I used to love watching her getting shagged it was such a turn on especially afterwards when we were alone!! More recently she won't swing but thats OK - I still love her to bits. She did however shag my best friend behind my back but it was not too difficult to get over it because of our "shady past" I would have preferred it if she was honest about it and we could all have had our fun (selfish eh!!)
ANyway, I still like shagging so that' Y I am on on here. I dont expect anyone to drop their knickers just because I emai and ask for it.,or ll them how big a dick I have etc. It's about making friends not just sex.
In aying that.... :-) if anyone wants some help in the bedroom?? :-) hehe

4 Jan 2006

Relationships are like clothes.
You search for the right ones, try them on for size, see if they fit or look good on you, and if not, bin them and look for the right ones.
Once you have found the right set they look good, feel good and are just the right fit!! biggrin

welcome to SH mate, i wont give you sympathy as is probably not wanted, hopefully, given patience,thought and a bit of time you might find what you are looking for here!!
if not have some fun whilst looking wink

4 Jan 2006

Quote by northeastcoupleuk
I've never had a Girlfirend, so I have yet to lose one (yay) although I have lost them before I actually managed to get them, if that counts.

i lost one ,she was under the bed lol

what was she doing under the bed?, checking out your copy of escort if she is anything like mine i bet!! :lol:

4 Jan 2006

Yeah, the comments in this thread seem wise indeed. But I have to say, a lot of confidence is needed indeed, and this statement proves it.

2 - lets say you do get lucky and click with someone - how will you feel when they jump in bed with someone else in front of you - will that drag up the past and the feelings you wish to lose?

This one WILL be hard for people who aren't confident and comfortable with themselves about their sexuality, and exactly what it is they're doing. That said, I can't talk, I'm a swinging virgin.
Hope it all goes well anyway.
IC