Hi!
Well after lurking around the board for a while now I decided to finally take the plunge and register and say hi.
I'm a mid thirties guy from the south-west and I've been curious about the whole swinging/dogging/party thing for a while.
I have a very sexy (well i think so!) and enthusiastic girlfriend and we have a great sex life together.
However I'm probably like a lot of people on here (I'm guessing) in that whilst I do have a great sex life and I am entirely faithful to my girlfriend I do often think about the frisson and excitement of sex with someone new, sex with a stranger....
I would say the sex life I have now is as good as I've ever had, but you can't create the excitement of going to bed with someone for the first time without actually doing it can you? I can clearly remember the first time I went to bed with my current girlfriend even though it was a while ago now, and whilst we have without doubt had much better sex since as we've got closer and more comfortable and confident with each other I do sometimes wish I could recreate that "first time" feeling, just meet someone, a stranger, and touch them for the first time. Feel their skin, their heat, their passion. Experience for the first time the way they move, the way they touch, the way they react...
We've often talked and fantasised about swinging but as I'm sure you are all aware (both those that have made the leap and those that have'nt) there is a chasm between thinking and talking, and actually doing. It sounds a fabulous idea in principle, fun for both of us and for the other party of course, experiencing new sexual partners without cheating, building up fresh and real fantasies to take back with us to remember and enjoy in private.
But could I cope with another man being intimate with her in reality...? Tough one isn't it? Fine in theory, when we've been making love I've often talked her through a fantasy of her with a stranger, or someone we know, often two or three guys at once and she's done the same for me, but in reality? Bit late afterwards if I didn't like it...
And the same applies for her too of course. She certainly likes the idea of it, but like me I think she feels the cold reality, especially after the event could be tough to deal with...
Maybe we should try a party although there doesn't seem to be much going on in our part of the world, and even there I think we'd both be concerned about getting carried away in the heat of the moment and regretting it afterwards.
Maybe half way measures are the way to dip a toe in the metaphorical waters. We've often had phone sex when we've been apart, but the idea of phone sex with a woman I've never met excites me as a way of seeing how sex outside the relationship feels... No actually, it just excites me! LOL!
Oh well, thats enough rambling for a first post, but I'd be interested in how other people feel about this, how they got on that first time. It is a big leap of faith after all...
I'm guessing it is something that may never happen for us. But you never know, and the thought of it is a big turn on in the meantime!!
Anyway, happy swinging to you all on here, hope you're all having fun!
Cheers for now.
B.
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Bari
With what you have said in this posting, we (who have been swinging now for 28 years) would strongly urge that you do not attempt to take that step unless you are both absolutely at ease with the idea. We have found that it brings us even closer together, but the thing you have to be able to do is to differentiate between sex and making love, if you can't or, infact, have any doubts don't do it!! You run the risk of spoiling what sounds as though it is a very good relationship that is still building.
I know this might sound strange coming from 2 dedicated swingers but, we would hate for you to get it wrong, as you sound like a great guy.
If, however, you would both like to chat to us at any time with regards to your concerns, please feel free to get in touch with us.
All the best, love Bob and Kay
With what you have said in this posting, we (who have been swinging now for 28 years) would strongly urge that you do not attempt to take that step unless you are both absolutely at ease with the idea. We have found that it brings us even closer together, but the thing you have to be able to do is to differentiate between sex and making love, if you can't or, infact, have any doubts don't do it!! You run the risk of spoiling what sounds as though it is a very good relationship that is still building.
I know this might sound strange coming from 2 dedicated swingers but, we would hate for you to get it wrong, as you sound like a great guy.
If, however, you would both like to chat to us at any time with regards to your concerns, please feel free to get in touch with us.
All the best, love Bob and Kay
Bari, i dont know why i'm writing this mate because what Bob and Kay said is absolutely spot on.
Linda and I talked about it for ages, you know the thing, having sex, telling each other what turns us both on that kind of thing.
I too had the same feelings of what it would feel like afterwards, well to cut a long stoy short, we went for it but before we did we decided to make a pact and say that if either of us regreted it we would never do it again.
Well that was two years ago now and i have watched her with five different guys, we love each other even more than before, after each session, (some are better than others mate) we have a nice long bath with each other, candels all around the bathroom, no lights on, its magic, and god do i love her.
Only you two know whats best mate, but when you decide to do it let us know how it went.
Us lot on here listen as well as chat so dont worry, good luck.
markandlinda
Linda and I talked about it for ages, you know the thing, having sex, telling each other what turns us both on that kind of thing.
I too had the same feelings of what it would feel like afterwards, well to cut a long stoy short, we went for it but before we did we decided to make a pact and say that if either of us regreted it we would never do it again.
Well that was two years ago now and i have watched her with five different guys, we love each other even more than before, after each session, (some are better than others mate) we have a nice long bath with each other, candels all around the bathroom, no lights on, its magic, and god do i love her.
Only you two know whats best mate, but when you decide to do it let us know how it went.
Us lot on here listen as well as chat so dont worry, good luck.
markandlinda
Good advice guys, thank you all.
I agree with both of your sentiments and I certainly wouldn't go for it unless we were both happy with the decision.
However it remains a fascination to me and a fantasy for us both. I suspect that this may well be as far as it ever goes for us and that is fair enough, but you never know....!!
In the meantime, I hope you don't mind me hanging out on your forum and chatting with you guys, it really does interest me!
Thanks once again for your thoughts and kind advice.
B.
I agree with both of your sentiments and I certainly wouldn't go for it unless we were both happy with the decision.
However it remains a fascination to me and a fantasy for us both. I suspect that this may well be as far as it ever goes for us and that is fair enough, but you never know....!!
In the meantime, I hope you don't mind me hanging out on your forum and chatting with you guys, it really does interest me!
Thanks once again for your thoughts and kind advice.
B.
Bari
What you could really do with is striking up a non-sexual friendship with a couple who are swingers, that way you could build up a strong friendship, before trying anything out, and I am sure that if they were like us, and you wanted to dip your toe in the water, they would not have any problems if either one of you decided it was not for you, part way through. And if they were true swingers, you would still have a strong friendship with them afterwards.
Love and Best wishes Bob and Kay
What you could really do with is striking up a non-sexual friendship with a couple who are swingers, that way you could build up a strong friendship, before trying anything out, and I am sure that if they were like us, and you wanted to dip your toe in the water, they would not have any problems if either one of you decided it was not for you, part way through. And if they were true swingers, you would still have a strong friendship with them afterwards.
Love and Best wishes Bob and Kay
That sounds like sound advice to us, we took it staedy to start with, flashing in pubs, getting caught doing naughty stuff, you know the score.
It worked for us anyway.
Again, good luck, and yes please hang around, we would love to be the first ones you tell if anything does happen, cheers.
markandlinda
It worked for us anyway.
Again, good luck, and yes please hang around, we would love to be the first ones you tell if anything does happen, cheers.
markandlinda
Cheers guys, appreciate your thoughts and kind words.
And don't worry, you'll be the first to know if we go for it (who knows it could even be with someone from here!!!)
Mark & Linda, I was interested to read about how you built up to it with flashing in pubs and other naughty stuff.
My girlfriend went out a few weeks ago and I said she should have fun (if you know what I mean!) without taking it too far too soon. She was in a nightclub having had a few drinks and was wearing a loose top and no bra and a couple of guys apparently pulled it down and kissed her bare nipples...
Lightweight stuff I know, but something of a turn on non the less (we were in bed together when she told me about it, certainly umm, helped proceedings shall me say!!
)
Early days....
B.
And don't worry, you'll be the first to know if we go for it (who knows it could even be with someone from here!!!)
Mark & Linda, I was interested to read about how you built up to it with flashing in pubs and other naughty stuff.
My girlfriend went out a few weeks ago and I said she should have fun (if you know what I mean!) without taking it too far too soon. She was in a nightclub having had a few drinks and was wearing a loose top and no bra and a couple of guys apparently pulled it down and kissed her bare nipples...
Lightweight stuff I know, but something of a turn on non the less (we were in bed together when she told me about it, certainly umm, helped proceedings shall me say!!
)Early days....
B.
Warming the Bed
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: OK there must be a reason from dragging this post first (and until now) made in 2003 from a guy with a single male profile who says he is a couple has only his age in it with absolutely no other information whatsoever and who hasn't even logged into the site for the last 90 days ?
Could it be to highlight the fact that the site advertises the number of members but half of whom are probably the same and don't actually use it anymore ?
Could it be to highlight the fact that the site advertises the number of members but half of whom are probably the same and don't actually use it anymore ?
