100%?

24 May 2007

However much we may try to resist it many of us have been conditioned to think a certain way of doing things is 'right', the idea of sex only being a thing that happens only between two people being one such notion that many of us have been taught as the 'only' way to do it.
Do you feel you yourself have shed that type of conditioning or does it come creeping back on you at times?
In the midst of doing something 'swingy' do you get the feeling of OMG what am I doing???, What am I doing HERE with THESE people???Do you get a feeling of wanting to stop or want to take flight even.
I'll admit I have, especially when things didn't quite feel 100% right for me, in fact how can you be 100% sure it will be 100% right for one's self until it's actually happening?
I can think of once where I went ahead and afterwards thought I shouldn't have done that, I should have stopped and said this really isn't for I didn't want to let the other people involved down and I did want to give them something good in return for what they were giving me and I also hoped to find a way to get myself into it and feel good about it after all, but I didn't.I felt pretty bad about it after.
But maybe I just think too much! rolleyes

As the old saying goes, don't think just dance lol! cool

24 May 2007

Ummmm ... yes. Can i come back to this? lol

basically - yes, iv'e felt things are not right or that i shouldnt be doing it. On one occasion , i continued with the play cos of the reasons you said - not letting the people down etc. but i learnt from that experience so its all good.
I generally don't do anything unless i feel 100% sure but like you say, you don't know till its happening.
summat like that anyway.

24 May 2007

What a good question! I really need to think about this one.

24 May 2007

Occasionally when I'm in a group situation or something I look around and think "Wow, how did I get here and how strange is it that this doesn't feel strange" LoL.
I have only once done something that didn't feel 100% right and unfortunately I didn't listen to my gut and i went ahead with it anyway and regretted it...but I learned not to do something if I'm uncomfortable so I DID learn from it...

24 May 2007

I felt like that during my 1st 3some which wasn't a good experience redface

Thankfully it didn't put me off altogether wink

24 May 2007

Interesting answers all.
Have you had your think yet Kiss? confused

:
(By the way I don't want the dozens of swingery folk who have expressed an interest in me via PM to think I intend to run out on them during a crucial moment lol!) rolleyes

The way Helen describes it is very spot on,I suppose it's when fantasy become fact, somewhere inside you are a bit shocked it's really happening to you!

24 May 2007

Quote by niceandgentle
Have you had your think yet Kiss? :

Yep!

I've already half typed an answer and deleted and gone off to another thread.
It's just a hard question for me to answer without going into lots of detail.
Yes there have been times that I've thought "What am I doing?" but not because I happened to be under a pile of bodies, but because it could potentialy harm a relationship.
I have no qualms about being kinky and liking what I like, but sometimes I do have qualms about the way I've lead my life.

24 May 2007

Quote by Kiss
Have you had your think yet Kiss? :

Yep!

I've already half typed an answer and deleted and gone off to another thread.
It's just a hard question for me to answer without going into lots of detail.
Yes there have been times that I've thought "What am I doing?" but not because I happened to be under a pile of bodies, but because it could potentialy harm a relationship.
I have no qualms about being kinky and liking what I like, but sometimes I do have qualms about the way I've lead my life.
Kiss, thank you for thinking or think you for thanking lol, that's so true and I think it's pretty natural for anybody to have those qualms at times, in fact if we didn't have them we'd be like robots!
It sure ain't like the movies is it? rolleyes

24 May 2007

Absolutely!
Tuesday was my birthday. I spent the morning with Mr W, then went off to crew "my ship" as she was berthed in our local town and chartered to sail for the afternoon. I have a partner in "lustful liasons" on board, who Mr W knows about & is mates with- although the guy is a wonderful friend & knows the score, he couldn't swing himself & doesn't quite "get it".
Annnnyways- the wonderful first mate gave myself & said guy the night off. We went to the pub, were joined later by some more crew, but then left alone to go back to the ship from where I was going home.
We left the pub hand in hand- and down the road I noticed Mr W. For some barking reason- I threw this blokes hand away rapidly. I think it was a mix of knowing that it would make him feel uncomfortable, and perhaps a deep seated irrational instinct thing.
It all ended ok though, as we went to yet another pub where the git's decided to start picking on me (as usual) :giggle:

24 May 2007

interesting thread! smile

i'm the kind of person who has always jumped in feet first, in a kind of 'if you don't try, you won't know' kind of way. more often than not, that's all worked out splendidly, and the 'OMG what am i doing' moments have been more 'OMG look what i'm doing?' things. :)
occasionally though, especially in the early days, even where the experience itself was largely a positive one, it raised issues that required a huge step back and a good deal of thinking, while i tried to work out exactly what i felt about the whole thing. huge learning curve, and in the long run, a good one. not so good at the time, but i generally learnt more from my mistakes than i did from the successes? confused

fantasy and reality are rarely the same thing at all. what i imagined, and what i actually got, were often entirely different beasts? that's not always a bad thing though? :)
could expand on that, but reluctant to, so dunno if this makes sense, or if it's even remotely on topic? dunno

neil x x x ;)

24 May 2007

Yes! basically yes!... it's an old fashioned thing with me I guess, my catholic upbringing (long lost I might add!), but sometimes I'll be enjoying myself so much I'll stop and think, "we shouldn't be doing this really..." but hey, life is short cool

24 May 2007

Quote by jaymar
Yes! basically yes!... it's an old fashioned thing with me I guess, my catholic upbringing (long lost I might add!), but sometimes I'll be enjoying myself so much I'll stop and think, "we shouldn't be doing this really..." but hey, life is short

what grade did you get then in 'A' Level Guilt? ;)
n x x x :P

24 May 2007

I've spent the last 18 months de programing myself about certain acceptable "Norms" - Still a way to go but getting there wink

25 May 2007

Quote by winchwench
Absolutely!
Tuesday was my birthday. I spent the morning with Mr W, then went off to crew "my ship" as she was berthed in our local town and chartered to sail for the afternoon. I have a partner in "lustful liasons" on board, who Mr W knows about & is mates with- although the guy is a wonderful friend & knows the score, he couldn't swing himself & doesn't quite "get it".
Annnnyways- the wonderful first mate gave myself & said guy the night off. We went to the pub, were joined later by some more crew, but then left alone to go back to the ship from where I was going home.
We left the pub hand in hand- and down the road I noticed Mr W. For some barking reason- I threw this blokes hand away rapidly. I think it was a mix of knowing that it would make him feel uncomfortable, and perhaps a deep seated irrational instinct thing.
It all ended ok though, as we went to yet another pub where the git's decided to start picking on me (as usual) :giggle:

Was that before you broke him or after? :giggle:

25 May 2007

The other day i was chatting with someone i used to know years ago. he's on ths site but not really bothered with it too much.
I'm talking about swinging clubs, meets and the various activities i enjoy (mostly being exceptionally greedy) and he says "god, you talk about it like it's normal".
It's taken me the best part of 4 years to get to this point. there have been occasiosn where i've kind of "taken stock" and thought wtf? or yippee! depending on the mood but rght now and for the last few months, I've never been more confident that this is 100% ok for me.
Like i said there have been one or tow occasions when I did wonder to myself but overall, the bad has been part of the learning curve and the "omg look at me! look at what I'm doing!" spurs me on if nowt else.
there have also been odd times when i've felt kind of ... jaded, for want of a better word .. blase, maybe? But it passes when something/one new and interesting pops up on the horizon.
ramble ramble ...

25 May 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
Yes! basically yes!... it's an old fashioned thing with me I guess, my catholic upbringing (long lost I might add!), but sometimes I'll be enjoying myself so much I'll stop and think, "we shouldn't be doing this really..." but hey, life is short

what grade did you get then in 'A' Level Guilt? ;)
n x x x :P
big fat zero!... I failed the "how to become a nun" exam also! lol

25 May 2007

winchwench wrote:
Absolutely!
Tuesday was my birthday. I spent the morning with Mr W, then went off to crew "my ship" as she was berthed in our local town and chartered to sail for the afternoon. I have a partner in "lustful liasons" on board, who Mr W knows about & is mates with- although the guy is a wonderful friend & knows the score, he couldn't swing himself & doesn't quite "get it".
Annnnyways- the wonderful first mate gave myself & said guy the night off. We went to the pub, were joined later by some more crew, but then left alone to go back to the ship from where I was going home.
We left the pub hand in hand- and down the road I noticed Mr W. For some barking reason- I threw this blokes hand away rapidly. I think it was a mix of knowing that it would make him feel uncomfortable, and perhaps a deep seated irrational instinct thing.
It all ended ok though, as we went to yet another pub where the git's decided to start picking on me (as usual)

SassySeren wrote:
Was that before you broke him or after?

After- but I gave him a few days to mend!
And then I broke Mr W.
:giggle:

25 May 2007

Quote by winchwench
SassySeren wrote:
Was that before you broke him or after?
After- but I gave him a few days to mend!
And then I broke Mr W.
:giggle:

:shock:
You STAY AWAY FROM DAI! You hear????! poke

but not from me :twisted:

25 May 2007

In short Yes I have always felt 100% comfortable with the decisions I have made in relation to swinging. At the time people meet then consent then stuff happens lol

so why should I have any doubt about what I am doing? If other people are there and not sure they should be then sorry but they shouldent have put themselves in that situation. I dont have time to nanny/council the world before getting into bed. I dont worry about how the world feels about me but then I feel the same about that in all aspects not just swinging. I only keep it quiet for the sake of a peaceful life.

25 May 2007

Quote by tweeky
In short Yes I have always felt 100% comfortable with the decisions I have made in relation to swinging. At the time people meet then consent then stuff happens so why should I have any doubt about what I am doing? If other people are there and not sure they should be then sorry but they shouldent have put themselves in that situation. I dont have time to nanny/council the world before getting into bed. I dont worry about how the world feels about me but then I feel the same about that in all aspects not just swinging. I only keep it quiet for the sake of a peaceful life.

I can see where you're coming yes, everybody confident, consenting and certain about what transpires.
But I'd have to cut myself some slack and make allowances for the end we're just human beings with all kinds of reasons behind what we do, be we hedonistic fun seekers or fulfilling our deepest, most yearning spirtual needs, or filling a gap, fumbling and grabbing at what we can, or cool, complete, and clued in.
I guess there are many roads to that destination, wherever that is!

26 May 2007

Quote by niceandgentle
In short Yes I have always felt 100% comfortable with the decisions I have made in relation to swinging. At the time people meet then consent then stuff happens so why should I have any doubt about what I am doing? If other people are there and not sure they should be then sorry but they shouldent have put themselves in that situation. I dont have time to nanny/council the world before getting into bed. I dont worry about how the world feels about me but then I feel the same about that in all aspects not just swinging. I only keep it quiet for the sake of a peaceful life.

I can see where you're coming yes, everybody confident, consenting and certain about what transpires.
But I'd have to cut myself some slack and make allowances for the end we're just human beings with all kinds of reasons behind what we do, be we hedonistic fun seekers or fulfilling our deepest, most yearning spirtual needs, or filling a gap, fumbling and grabbing at what we can, or cool, complete, and clued in.
I guess there are many roads to that destination, wherever that is!
If I could see someone was having a problem prior to hitting the sheet then I wouldent persue it I would just walk away and put it down as a failed meet. What I was saying above is that if someone puts themselves in that situation and puts on a front there is not a lot I can do about it later on if they have an adverse reaction.

27 May 2007

Quote by tweeky
In short Yes I have always felt 100% comfortable with the decisions I have made in relation to swinging. At the time people meet then consent then stuff happens so why should I have any doubt about what I am doing? If other people are there and not sure they should be then sorry but they shouldent have put themselves in that situation. I dont have time to nanny/council the world before getting into bed. I dont worry about how the world feels about me but then I feel the same about that in all aspects not just swinging. I only keep it quiet for the sake of a peaceful life.

I can see where you're coming yes, everybody confident, consenting and certain about what transpires.
But I'd have to cut myself some slack and make allowances for the end we're just human beings with all kinds of reasons behind what we do, be we hedonistic fun seekers or fulfilling our deepest, most yearning spirtual needs, or filling a gap, fumbling and grabbing at what we can, or cool, complete, and clued in.
I guess there are many roads to that destination, wherever that is!
If I could see someone was having a problem prior to hitting the sheet then I wouldent persue it I would just walk away and put it down as a failed meet. What I was saying above is that if someone puts themselves in that situation and puts on a front there is not a lot I can do about it later on if they have an adverse reaction.
Yes, I agree, you can only go on what you know at the if anybody were showing signs of distress about it beforehand it is indeed best to put the brakes on there and then!
There are more subtle post reactions as well and perhaps people can be supportive of one another with those but in the end it has to the person themselves that deals with their own feelings about it and decides where they go from there(or not!)