NEVER heard of the bloke who did the 'Is this the way to Amarillo' spoof video for Children in Need???
:undecided: :undecided: :undecided: You been living in a remoter part of Outer (or Inner) Mongolia for the past 6 months??
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Quality....... had me chuckling.... here's a few more:
"You may not wanna know this but...." - You ain't gonna give me a bloody choice are ya!!
"Did I tell you this....." - your memory problems are ya own, how the feck do I know if you've already told me if ya don't tell me!
"I don't want to put you under any pressure but..." - you are though aren't you!
"I shouldn't really be telling you this but..." - so don't then ya blabbermouth, last time I tell YOU anything!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
People who say (of themselves) "What you see is what you get". (Translation: "I am so shallow, I have absolutely no hidden depths").
I have one
Why dont pepole read post's and info on this site before asking silly question
would make life so much better
What about folk who start off by saying "I don't want to upset you but........."
You just know that the next thing they say is going to upset somebody and cause an arguement!
I know all about this as I am guilty as charged myself for doing it! :doh:
McC
My pet hate is people who are rude/ignorant etc, i cant think of a good witticism to sum it up though!!
Young n horny couple
"With the greatest of respect"....meaning "I think your talking out yer arse but I'm too mealy-mouthed to say so"
"Hi, Sir, I'm Cindy, Sir, I'm calling from Really Irritating Telemarketing, Sir. Would you, Sir, be interested, Sir, in..." (I put phone down on table very quietly and walk away)
"Do you mind if I ....." Try saying, "Yes actually I mind very much" in reply.
"Have you seen our holiday photos?" Aaargh! (Run, run for your life.)
(Automated voice) "We're extremely sorry for the delay to your journey". Bollocks you are, and what good is an apology, it's a train we need!
People who do that italics thing with their fingers when they're telling you something... you know what I mean, when they point two fingers in the air from both hands and wiggle them to accentuate a word? "I saw Peter yesterday, and I hear he was 'jogging', (cue wiggling fingers) in the park.."
Oooh, wiggle yer fingers like that to me again ya wee gossiping nyaff, and I'll buckle them backwards!