Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

A bit of advice please...

last reply
65 replies
3.1k views
1 watcher
0 likes
Hi all.
I just need a bit of advice. It may be that I'm just butt ugly but I have been on this site for a few weeks now. I have posted adverts and included a photo but I just dont seem to be getting anywhere.
I'm new to this and may be just doing something wrong so a few pointers would be great! I cant exactly go into my local and say "well I joined this swinging site and...."
I am genuine and I can accomodate... It mya be that I'm in an area thtas just not into it.... (I need to move).
Like I said any advice would be appreciated.
5t3v3
:giggle:
Might have something to do with your name! Do you fish?
:mrgreen:
EDIT: I'm sure someone will be along with some helpful advice shortly! In the meantime... welcome! wave
Welcome to SH wink
Your biggest hurdle is that there are lots n lots of single males on here - and how could you make yourself stand out from the rest?
My advice would be to get posting in the forums, maybe pop into the chat rooms and get to know people.
Oh and the Lets Meet Up forum has loads going on so maybe get yourself down for a munch/social, or why not try and organise a meet that way.
Good luck wave
Dg :lol2:
I hope not!!!!!
Quote by brucie
get a new haircut for a start.

At least he shows his face picture dunno
5t3v3, your hair is fine, as is your picture :twisted:
Some good advice, cheers!
Getting a bit worried now! My Mom told me to get a haircut! I hope she's not on here! That would be very awkward!!!!!
Quote by 5t3v3
Some good advice, cheers!
Getting a bit worried now! My Mom told me to get a haircut! I hope she's not on here! That would be very awkward!!!!!

If Brucie's your mom you have got problems :shock:
I'm becoming increasingly convinced that there is no more room for single males on swinging websites.
I have done everything in my power to raise my visibility. Worked on my profile, started a group, hung out in the forum.
My last option is to organise a munch to actually get a response from anybody. lol.
This isnt a criticism of anyone or anything, this is just a product of men on average signing up here more than women.
Clearly it is nobodys responsibility to have sex with anybody else. In this case it is entirely every mans responsibility to make themself desirable to attract attention, but I dont know what else to do to stand out :P
I think that I am going to grow some balls and migrate my approach to the real world. Start saking people in real life if fun, casual sex appeals to them. Obviously in more subtle terms.
Hi hun, sorry you've not had much luck so far.
I have had a look at your profile and in my opinion(and as someone has already said) you need to do something to make you stand out from the crowds of single guys on here .... nice to see that you have actually put a photo on though ... that does make a change!!!
Try putting a little more about yourself, what you like, dislike and try to let your personality show through .... sure most people would agree that this is not just about looks (although you're looking fine to me)!!!
I spend a lot of time in the chatrooms and I feel that it is an area of this site where you can really get to know people .... if I'm going to invite a single guy around at the spur of the moment, thats where I go on the hunt!! :twisted: and we've met lots of couples there as well ... much better than searching in my opinion!!
Spending more time in the forum too may help as again people can get to know who you are and what you are about.
Hope this helps and good luck xx
Best piece of advice I could possibly give you?
Don't take advice from Forsyth! :thumbup:
Quote by brucie
"I'm becoming increasingly convinced that there is no more room for single males on swinging websites. "
but this is also a valid point. i dont think single guys have a place in swinging. single guys is just sex/promiscuity its not swinging.

I don't care what you think about single males, I like them :giggle:
Quote by brucie
"I'm becoming increasingly convinced that there is no more room for single males on swinging websites. "
but this is also a valid point. i dont think single guys have a place in swinging. single guys is just sex/promiscuity its not swinging.

And single females? dunno
Quote by 5t3v3
Hi all.
I just need a bit of advice. It may be that I'm just butt ugly but I have been on this site for a few weeks now. I have posted adverts and included a photo but I just dont seem to be getting anywhere.
I'm new to this and may be just doing something wrong so a few pointers would be great! I cant exactly go into my local and say "well I joined this swinging site and...."
I am genuine and I can accomodate... It mya be that I'm in an area thtas just not into it.... (I need to move).
Like I said any advice would be appreciated.
5t3v3

The site does work, the site gives you all the tools to make it work, the key is to make it work for you...
people get sick of what i am about to say but in swinging it is so true.... "you do get out, what you put in"....
your ads is in "men seeking women" and "men seeking couples".... there are shed loads more men than women and couples here so they can be as choosey as they want.....
look at your own ad, have a look at some of the others... if yours doesn't stand out, then make it stand out....
SH hasn't started charging by the word just yet, so start using them.......if your ad is only 3 lines long then how do you expect it to stand out from all the other thousands of adverts..... tell people why you are different from the others? give people a reason to say "yes, I have to meet that person"
for example.. in your profile it says nothing about the people that you are after rather than the basics......so what type of couple/single fem are you after... older/younger? tall/short? thin/fat? those are just examples.... you haven't said at all....
use the ads to your advantage.......
have you been into the chatrooms..... for example you are in the midlands.... there is normally a midlands chatroom on server 3... and think of it like a pub, where it takes time to get known....
Go to socials... there is always stuff going on... go to clubs... there are a few up there now..
Bascially what I am say is that it is going to take more than a couple of weeks..... if you are expecting "quick shag" then you are very likely to be disappointed
don't be impatient, don't expect peoples knickers to fall at the drop of a hat,
It does work.... for those people who put the effort in, but you have to be proactive about it!!!
hope that makes you think a bit....
Taken on board brucie.
Its a fine line between sounding exciting, and sounding like too much. But, thats fair play. Maybe its time to be less timid and let a little bit of me shine through!
Fabio, Taken what you said about putting more about what you like in your profile, but I dont think that being chosy when you are already one of millions would be a very successful tactic.
Some good advice above from most (not twinkle toes). My advice would be firstly, don't take all of this too seriously. As most have already stated us guys are probably in the lowest demand but highest in terms of numbers on here. As a result you may find for every 20 messages you send you will only get a response from 1 person and even that will be a no thanks. When you start letting this get to you is when you start coming across as pushy. It's just one of those things and you have to accept that you're not for everyone.
Secondly, the chatrooms are a really good place to have a chin wag and, even better, if you get yourself a cam and actually pop your face on there rather than Mr Johnson getting stroked, then people respond to that well too. The number of people I met went up massively when I started using chat with my mush on cam, not cos I'm Brad Pitt-alike, but a decent, normal guy who just so happens to enjoy 'swinging' (yup brucie you read that right wink )
Anyway, good luck fella and maybe see you in chat some time.
Quote by brucie
son, when you coming home for dinner? and get a haircut!
anoush, i think you are wrong. heres some constructive criticism. youre coming across as a little bland and boring (dont be offended!). its no different than walking in to a bar. if you dont stick out (no pun intended) then you wont pull the top birds.

brucie, I think you couldn't be further from the truth; Anoush has come across as a pretty interesting character as far as I can see.
And 5teve, hang around in here a bit kiss
... confused In my opinion, Anoush has been a complete breath of fresh air in here. He's consistent, polite, respectful and handsome. I don't know what the magic formula is for 'introducing yourself in the right way' is but if he could bottle it and sell it to other single males, he'd be onto a winner :P
5t3v3 - you seem to be doing OK in here so far. Do what feels right for you.. socials are the last place some people want to meet people. As others have said, Chat might be an option but don't wave yer cock about on cam - that's boring and puts you into the same 'box' as the other several thousands of guys on here.... wink
IN EDIT: spooky, I typed/posted that at the same time as nola :?
I have just read all the advice and must say thank you.
I'm going to go away and think abot what and how a post my adverts and use the site fully.
Brucie! I miss you liver and onions!
I will pop into a few of the chat rooms and just see what's being said and join in.
Once again all, thank you.
Steve
not much to add other than agree with getting into the chatrooms all my meets came from in there when i was meeting and single
as for anoush....i would and i'm straight smile
Quote by leatherednperky
as for anoush....i would and i'm straight smile

That made me giggle that did :giggle:
lol ;)
Quote by leatherednperky
as for anoush....i would and i'm straight smile

Your not alone there redface
5t3v3, dont give up, have a look at the advice given by Fabio and remember you do have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Try and look at from the the couples/single females perspective. Why should they pick you rather than the other 100,000,000,000 single males who are looking for a meet? What makes you so special?
Try some of the socials or munches which are going on, which even if it doesnt result in an immediate meet, its normally a good night out, but most of all, enjoy waiting for your meet. They always say good things come to those who wait wink
Just, whatever you do, dont come across as an arsey, know it all, who things everyone should be desperate to meet you. It turns off a lot more people than it turns on :wink:
(now how many miles is it to Staffordshire) surprisedops:
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
(now how many miles is it to Staffordshire) redface

Less for me! :smug:
Quote by noladreams
(now how many miles is it to Staffordshire) redface

Less for me! :smug:
Need a lift wink
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
(now how many miles is it to Staffordshire) redface

Less for me! :smug:
Need a lift wink
Don't forget me :giggle:
Quote by Dawnie
(now how many miles is it to Staffordshire) redface

Less for me! :smug:
Need a lift wink
Don't forget me :giggle:
Your even closer than us two.
However, as there are now three of us, we may as well head down to London as well :twisted:
wave Make that 4 :giggle: This is sounding like a fun road trip smile :lol2:
Quote by poshkate
wave Make that 4 :giggle: This is sounding like a fun road trip smile :lol2:

We can even share the driving as well biggrin
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
wave Make that 4 :giggle: This is sounding like a fun road trip smile :lol2:

We can even share the driving as well biggrin
redface Well...
What about a long distance addition?! wave
Room for one more?! :twisted:
:rascal: