We have been swinging for a little while now and we were both astonished to discover that the way we look at the vanilla world has changed.
............. and that the change was so sudden and dramatic.
Even the simplest things like a trip around the supermarket have demostrated to both of us that our attitudes and thoughts have changed.
It was the shock of having our shared secret life that no-one knew of that we think changed it - we are swingers and they aint sort of thing - not sure we have the vocabulary to describe it adequately here, but we hope that other swingers also know what we mean.
Almost a feeling of superiority??? not that exactly .. smugness??? no not that either ...... definitely a feeling of unity in our little secret and belonging in the discovery of such a close and great community of fabulous friends on this and other websites as well as the various social functions.
Is it a feeling of belonging?? not sure ..
Have other swingers felt this?
Do all swingers feel this way and find themselves a little on the outside observing others go about 'normal' life?
Your thoughts on this would be most welcome - especially the more erudite of the many posters here who could perhaps enlighten us with a better explanation of the feelings/attitudes that now are part of our every day life.
Or even those that have no idea what we're talking about
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a change in attitude
Sex God
Well - not necesarily. Friends are friends whether vanilla or not.
'I know something that you don't know' is a sort of juvenile concept innit?
There's nothing 'superior' about swinging - it's just summat we hereabouts prefer to do. Others don't and we've got to remember that.
Still- if you enjoy - then enjoy 'swhat I say.
.
'I know something that you don't know' is a sort of juvenile concept innit?
There's nothing 'superior' about swinging - it's just summat we hereabouts prefer to do. Others don't and we've got to remember that.
Still- if you enjoy - then enjoy 'swhat I say.
.
Quote by westerross
Well - not necesarily. Friends are friends whether vanilla or not.
'I know something that you don't know' is a sort of juvenile concept innit?
There's nothing 'superior' about swinging - it's just summat we hereabouts prefer to do. Others don't and we've got to remember that.
Still- if you enjoy - then enjoy 'swhat I say.
.
Yeh-what he said!
I dont feel it`s right to look at other people and feel smug or superior, we all are who we are whether that`s vanilla or playful swingers.
As long as we`re not hurting anybody.............
Is it that feeling you get when your friends are moaning about there lot, being dragged round the shops,and for you it brings a smile as it was an opportunity for a game of wudja with your partner :twisted:
a feeling of not so much belonging, but feeling more free to be yourselves.
Not smug or superior but just ahhh nice. :thumbup:
Quote by berksbex
Do all swingers feel this way and find themselves a little on the outside observing others go about 'normal' life?
I do sometimes wonder if they swing too (wonder or hope, who knows lol :twisted: ).
Blimey!!! :shock:
Haven't seen you for bluddy ages!!!! :shock:
Tis good to see your name on here Berksbex
As for the feeling you get in a vanilla environment - yeh, I do feel sort of different
I s'pose it's cos a lot of people we see, would be pretty shocked, maybe appalled, occasionally curious - but you would never know who would be what 
Always seems to be the ones you think are the squarest, that are the most curious, and the ones you think could well be swingers themselves, would be horrified at the thought of just knowing someone that was :?I love the thought of having a saucy little secret between me and David, something a bit different, shared just between us, wouldn't say smug, or superior - but just a little saucy or something, I don't know, can't explain it :dunno:
Quote by m&f fun
Is it that feeling you get when your friends are moaning about there lot, being dragged round the shops,and for you it brings a smile as it was an opportunity for a game of wudja with your partner :twisted:
a feeling of not so much belonging, but feeling more free to be yourselves.
Not smug or superior but just ahhh nice. :thumbup:
defanatley i go shoping more now cause i flirt even more with the sales assistants
Quote by Shireen
I understood what Laff_n_Chilli meant.... It's sort of a naughty feeling when you are wandering round the supermarket and think about one of your meets and get that tingle :lol2: You look at the grannies walking by and think "if only you knew what I had been doing":lol2:
I get that sort of feeling when I come out of the beauticians, having had a full wax!! Not quite sure why!!
:rotflmao:
hwoar:An interesting topic to brooch Laff and Chilli (happy new year by the way). I personally don't think it is a case of a feeling of superiority, simply a respect of peoples lifestyle choices and gratitude that the internet facilitates meetings and dialogue to an extent unthinkable just a few years ago.
As Laff_n_Chilli explained they felt they may not have used the right words and whilst being in someway similar to a feeling of superiority or smugness, it wasn’t exactly either of those… and I get what they mean.
For me personally it does not manifest itself when I go shopping, fill the car with petrol or many of the other 1001 things that we do in day to day life, but there are times it does – for example:
There are those occasions when a drink has been arranged and the 2 or 3 of us sit and have our chat in a city centre bar. After a while you can’t help but overhear what the louder groups of people are talking about; the group of lads bragging about who banged who that weekend and slagging off the girls who let them. Proclaiming each other as sexual giants because of how many girlies they have had a 2 minute knee trembler with in the nightclub car park.
You can’t help but sit there, shake your head and utter “They have no fucking idea”.
Sometimes you can’t help but think “If you only knew what I know…but you don’t and I do” and then chuckle to yourself (in a non-mentalist way).
There are some occasions when I visit the club (actually it is more than some, it’s probably most of the times) when I have gone to the bar for a drink and to chill for a bit, may be have a natter with a few folks and I find myself thinking how great it all is. After all this time I still feel a little wonderment that this place exists, at how relaxed about sex these people around me are (especially compared to the dickheads in the pub), how I love the environment and how excited, happy and even to some extent ‘smug’ I am to be a part of it.
For me personally it does not manifest itself when I go shopping, fill the car with petrol or many of the other 1001 things that we do in day to day life, but there are times it does – for example:
There are those occasions when a drink has been arranged and the 2 or 3 of us sit and have our chat in a city centre bar. After a while you can’t help but overhear what the louder groups of people are talking about; the group of lads bragging about who banged who that weekend and slagging off the girls who let them. Proclaiming each other as sexual giants because of how many girlies they have had a 2 minute knee trembler with in the nightclub car park.
You can’t help but sit there, shake your head and utter “They have no fucking idea”.
Sometimes you can’t help but think “If you only knew what I know…but you don’t and I do” and then chuckle to yourself (in a non-mentalist way).
There are some occasions when I visit the club (actually it is more than some, it’s probably most of the times) when I have gone to the bar for a drink and to chill for a bit, may be have a natter with a few folks and I find myself thinking how great it all is. After all this time I still feel a little wonderment that this place exists, at how relaxed about sex these people around me are (especially compared to the dickheads in the pub), how I love the environment and how excited, happy and even to some extent ‘smug’ I am to be a part of it.
Quote by PoloLady
As Laff_n_Chilli explained they felt they may not have used the right words and whilst being in someway similar to a feeling of superiority or smugness, it wasn’t exactly either of those… and I get what they mean.
For me personally it does not manifest itself when I go shopping, fill the car with petrol or many of the other 1001 things that we do in day to day life, but there are times it does – for example:
There are those occasions when a drink has been arranged and the 2 or 3 of us sit and have our chat in a city centre bar. After a while you can’t help but overhear what the louder groups of people are talking about; the group of lads bragging about who banged who that weekend and slagging off the girls who let them. Proclaiming each other as sexual giants because of how many girlies they have had a 2 minute knee trembler with in the nightclub car park.
You can’t help but sit there, shake your head and utter “They have no fucking idea”.
Sometimes you can’t help but think “If you only knew what I know…but you don’t and I do” and then chuckle to yourself (in a non-mentalist way).
There are some occasions when I visit the club (actually it is more than some, it’s probably most of the times) when I have gone to the bar for a drink and to chill for a bit, may be have a natter with a few folks and I find myself thinking how great it all is. After all this time I still feel a little wonderment that this place exists, at how relaxed about sex these people around me are (especially compared to the dickheads in the pub), how I love the environment and how excited, happy and even to some extent ‘smug’ I am to be a part of it.
Hi All,
I am one of the mass of 'lurkers' but I so agree with this. We (my wife and myself) have been in pubs and overheard conversations that are just as above. Suz went up to one group and said to the group who were talking about DP, 'Have any of you tried it? bacause I have and its great!' A lot of the group didnt even know really what it was they were talking about and when it was explained to them, thier jaws dropped! it was a very amusing site to see. We frequent the Rochdale club (Liasons) and have made some very good friends both there and in the camping group. Its a fantastic feeling to be with such friends.
Cheers Alan
Have a great 2007. We intend to;)
Quote by PoloLady
As Laff_n_Chilli explained they felt they may not have used the right words and whilst being in someway similar to a feeling of superiority or smugness, it wasn’t exactly either of those… and I get what they mean.
....
There are those occasions when a drink has been arranged and the 2 or 3 of us sit and have our chat in a city centre bar. After a while you can’t help but overhear what the louder groups of people are talking about; the group of lads bragging about who banged who that weekend and slagging off the girls who let them. Proclaiming each other as sexual giants because of how many girlies they have had a 2 minute knee trembler with in the nightclub car park.
.....
If I do feel smug and superior it comes from one place. I am not playing with someones feeling just to get my end away.
I hurt no one and all women know what they are getting, me, on loan, and I am going home to a wife I adore.
I do not slag off the lass as soon as I can.
Yes I feel superior, I am. I show my partners the respect I hope they will show me.
Sex God
L & C (and other contributors)
I soooo know what you mean, to me it was one of the very best parts of the scene.
When I was still swinging as a couple with Mrs. Pete, we would so often just automatically glance at each other and give that secret little smile. The thing is it could happen anywhere, in the supermarket, in the post office queue, walking across a car park it could be anywhere.
I have often tried to analyse what the triggers were but as yet to no avail but it just gave me such a wonderfully warm feeling inside, a closeness that we shared something between us that the folk around us knew nothing about, even if some of them were swingers themselves, they didn’t know we were. Is it superiority? I don’t think so, is it the old ‘we know something you don’t know’ cliché? No I don’t even think its that, I think maybe its more about having that special bond with someone that allows the freedom that comes so naturally with this lifestyle and sharing it with others in a way that doesn’t push it in the face of the general public, but if someone asked, you wouldn’t be ashamed to tell.
As for overheard conversations in pubs, well that can be so funny, not in the sense that has been previously expressed, but the amount of pub conversations we have overheard (as one young lady off this site can confirm from a meet we had in a local pub) watching a table of people who are obviously in the lifestyle, having had a few drinks, talking the talk thinking no one around them knows what the innuendos mean is just hysterical, but at the same time makes you feel an immediate affinity.
All I know is that as a couple, it was a real bonding thing, and as a single, its more of a belonging thing.
Did any of that make any sense whatsoever? and that’s me sober ffs 
I soooo know what you mean, to me it was one of the very best parts of the scene.
When I was still swinging as a couple with Mrs. Pete, we would so often just automatically glance at each other and give that secret little smile. The thing is it could happen anywhere, in the supermarket, in the post office queue, walking across a car park it could be anywhere.
I have often tried to analyse what the triggers were but as yet to no avail but it just gave me such a wonderfully warm feeling inside, a closeness that we shared something between us that the folk around us knew nothing about, even if some of them were swingers themselves, they didn’t know we were. Is it superiority? I don’t think so, is it the old ‘we know something you don’t know’ cliché? No I don’t even think its that, I think maybe its more about having that special bond with someone that allows the freedom that comes so naturally with this lifestyle and sharing it with others in a way that doesn’t push it in the face of the general public, but if someone asked, you wouldn’t be ashamed to tell.
As for overheard conversations in pubs, well that can be so funny, not in the sense that has been previously expressed, but the amount of pub conversations we have overheard (as one young lady off this site can confirm from a meet we had in a local pub) watching a table of people who are obviously in the lifestyle, having had a few drinks, talking the talk thinking no one around them knows what the innuendos mean is just hysterical, but at the same time makes you feel an immediate affinity.
All I know is that as a couple, it was a real bonding thing, and as a single, its more of a belonging thing.
Did any of that make any sense whatsoever?
and that’s me sober ffs 