Friends of mine i met in my local have split, mainly becaue he will lie and shag anything with a pulse.
Not seen her in a 3 weeks and shes coping, i have always been there to chat to. They have now spilt and me and her were chatting shes invited me out to dinner which i will do (paying my share). But theres always been and underlying sexual thing, and on walking home tonight it was more a snog than a kiss goodnight.
I was a bit shocked but i suppose not entirely surprised, shes upset at her lose and betrayly but she lacks confidence. Now i get a strong impression i could play next time we meet but im not sure that would really help her confidence. Shes older than me at 52 yr but extremely fit, my gut instinct is no way, but what if her confidence comes from being wanted by a younger guy????????
I think you should tell her squarely how you feel. If you've 'snogged'it should be safe to talk about that should'nt it. Difficult one winey I hope you get to keep your friend get good sex and enjoy her all the more for it. Who says you cant have it all eh?. best of luck fella.
Something like this happened to me this year.
I chose not to mix-up her mind up even more. At the moment we are just friends, that may change in the future. When? I do not know, but when I think she is ready not to think the wrong thing!
Screw her yes, but don't screw with her mind.
Winey, I`d tread carefully if I was you. If she`s going through a relationship breakup her emotions are going to be all over the place and what she thinks she wants now may not be what she wants later. A good friendship could be lost. It might better to wait a few months and see how it goes.
Tread with care, this lady is still upset from the spilt, and is on the rebound.
A friendly face, good dinner, some thing to drink and all that.
Yeah you need to talk to her over dinner, if you're not wanting a full on relationship you should be upfront from the start.
There's nothing wrong in two adults sharing some company and having sexual fun as long as both know where it is going.
The confidence boost she needs may well just come from your honesty, tell her you find her extremely attractive and would like to have fun with her.
you can boost her self esteem and confidence as a younger, older, shorter, taller, greener, pinker, etc etc man just by saying how attractive she is to you and being her friend. Sex is not a cure all.
I am sure you will appreciate your honesty and friendship for a lot longer than she will appreciate a shag at this point.
But hey, I have been wrong before.
Thank you all you have confirmed my thoughts on this, she just needs a friend at the moment not more complications.
:thumbup:
Tell her your concerns about how soon it has been since she split with her ex and if you are happy that she is not just rebounding and latching on to the first person to show her some tenderness then I see no harm in exploring further..
If your not after a relationship then be upfront with her from the start..
She will thank you for it in the future..
As you said she just lost one lier... you would destroy her by being anything but honest just to get a shag! Confidence and fun yes.. but be honest before you do anything, minefield!!!! Support for a while maybe and see what happens..
You answered your own question I think.
No offence!
Mike
What kind of friend is she? I get the impression that she's not a swinging friend but you use the term 'play' which would lead me to think she was.
Personally, I think she's feeling hurt and unatractive due to the way she's been treated. She want's to feel she still 'has it', she wants company and she wants a friend. My advice, as many others have said, talk to her.
If you are intimate with each other it's very difficult to go back to being a friend, especially if she's not into swinging. She may think there's more to it than you want there to be.
H.x
I'm with everyone else on this...Be honest with her but it sounds like she just needs a friend...
I'd advise you to be there and wait until the time is right when she's gotten over the liar and can see clearly...
and less confusion