well, i have an update for you!
people suggested that i should maybe get a part time job in a local bar to get to meet people.
well i had a think about it, and decided to give it a try.
i am sure you will all be EVER so proud of me!
:D :D so, i called round a few of the local pubs listed in the yellow pages and found one who were not only looking for staff, but claimed to be friendly and modern. i made sure to tell them i had not done "that type of thing" before, and they were fine about it, assuring me i would be trained in what to do and would have a wonderful time.
feeling quite proud of myself - i turned up the other night for my first shift, sure it would be really easy, and looking forward to spending my time chatting to people at the bar.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i walked in and immediately wondered if i had gone into the wrong place. the "young and vibrant regulars" that the landlord had promised me seemed to have morphed into a geriatrics social group since my phone call.
the "modern and trendy" surroundings needed more than rose tinted specs to show it to its full potential.
not being one to be put off, i pasted a smile on my face and walked to the bar ... or what i could see of it, with it being COVERED in empty glasses.
i stood on my tiptoes to peer over them in order to locate the landlord, no luck. he was nowhere to be seen.
now like i said, i have never done this before - so can not claim to be an expert, but i was SURE there should have been SOMEONE behind the bar, somewhere.
i turned to my right. "have you seen the bar man" i ask the *cough* gentleman stood next to me.
""excuse me"", i say a bit louder in order to get him to look higher than my chest and able to lip read my mouth as i was sure between his hearing aid and the awful hurdy gurdy music playing in the background, he had not heard me the first time.
"do you know where the landlord is?" i asked slowly.
he stood looking at me with a puzzled expression before nodding at me then turning away and taking a loooong drink of his pint.
i decided that rather than risk conversation with any more mutes. my best bet was to wait until he turned up. and so i waited, and waited and waited.
after about ten mins of me shifting from one foot to the other and wondering what kind of business runs ok when the staff are no where to be seen and the customers are left to fend for themselves a rather flustered looking guy appeared from the door behind the bar.
hi, i'm.... i start, as he lifts a hand in greeting and tells me he will be with me shortly.
he begins to serve the customers who despite having had ages to sit and ponder over what they want, still take for ever to tell him, and then seem to be surprised by having to pay so do NOT have their money out, but have to root through every pocket they have finding loose change in each.
anyway, patrons sorted he comes over to me and asks what he can get me!
i suppress the urge to sigh and instead smilingly tell him who i am.
“Oh†he says and looks at me.
looking back at him i go to smile, then realise that any more fake smiles and i will look like a lunatic i instead raise an eyebrow.
“soâ€, he says “you have come to start
“Yes†i reply.
“the thing is, i am on my own tonight and it is quite busy and i had forgot i had told you to come tonightâ€
.
“rightâ€, replies me - wondering what the problem is.
“would you be able to start Wednesday night instead, when there are more people on?â€
by this time i am trying VERY hard to hide the confusion and annoyance on my face.
i am trying to understand the logic behind him not wanting me to start as an extra pair of hands because he is BUSY, and instead him preferring to pay me to work when there are enough people to cover!
realising i must inhabit a different universe than everyone else i say fine, ask him what time he would like me on Wednesday and leave, ignoring the leers and letches on my way out.
Anyway, Wednesday night arrives and once more I get dressed (careful to cover my self as much a possible this time) and head over there.
I walk in and find he was correct. It was not busy, it was infact dead!
Don’t get me wrong, there were still glasses covering the bar - possibly the same ones from last time! But with the exception of one bloke sat at the bar talking to what I presume was the other barmaid and a couple at a table it was empty.
Seeing me walk in the landlord smiles and waves me over.
“Come round the back and I will show you where to leave your stuff, then we can get startedâ€.
I do briefly wonder what we are going to get stared on, since there are no customers, but the relief of him remembering I was actually coming over rides this.
I leave my stuff and we go back out front.
He decides the till is probably the best place to start.
He shows me how to put in purchases on the till. I listen and am sure I understand.
“So, show me how you would ring up blah blah blah†he says, and I do.
“Ok, show me how you would ring up blah blah blahâ€, so I do
“And blah blah blahâ€, I do
“And blah blah blah†so yet again I do.
Feeling I had more than demonstrated my ability to press a button on a till I was relieved when a customer walked in.
Beckoning me to follow him, landlord goes and asks the customer what he would like.
He grabs a glass of the shelf and goes to pour the drink.
It was only then that I noticed where the drinks came from!
Remember he had told me on the phone about the “modern†facilities.
I was expecting wine bar style push buttons, NOT the enormous hand pull pumps.
I watched as he held the glass in his weedy armed left hand and expertly pulled the pump down with his muscle bound popeye style right arm.
I was beginning to get concerned that this was not going to be all it cracked up to be.
Anyway, the distraction seemed to have made him forget about the till games and so we moved on to glasses.
He proceeded to show me a million type of glasses and explain which of a million different drinks went into each glass.
My head was spinning but I just gave him a glazed nod as he carried on.
Again someone came to the bar so fortunately for me he had to cut it short and go to serve them.
I decided to use my initiative and move some of the many glasses on the bar to the washing up area.
I placed them all together waiting washing and walked back to the front looking for more.
He had by this time finished serving and came to see what I was doing and proceeded to tut and shake his head at the fact that I had not grouped the glasses in types!
Ffs, I can see how traumatised the guinness glasses would be at being separated from their mates and placed next to a fecking strongbow glass!
Gritting my teeth I nodded and waited next to him for the next customer.
Please note, the other barmaid was STILL stood at the bar chatting.
Anyway, soon a man walked up t the bar, at last I thought, I will be able to do something.
The man orders and I am told to get a glass – which I do.
I am then told to remember that I must hold the glass at an angle for the first half of the drink, then straighten it.
do so, and to be honest it does not look bad, fair enough there is a head that takes up half of the glass, but I was pretty pleased with myself.
I am still feeling pleased with myself when the next customer comes.
He ordered and remembering “always hold it at an angle†I do so . the result looks like an explosion in a froth factory.
“What are you doing?†the landlord asks, his voice a bit higher than before.
“This is how you told me how to do it†I tell him.
It turns out that THIS drink you hold straight to pour.
Oh for gods sake I think.
“Ok, so everything else is poured at an angle with the exception of this?†I check.
“Oh no†he tells me, and proceeds to go through every drink and the different way in which they are all pulled.
By now I am really beginning to feel as though I am cracking up.
I have already lost the will to live.
I am soo relieved when the next customer comes in and orders something in a bottle and a packet of crisps.
I serve him with a smile and am rewarded by being told to “keep the changeâ€. Woohoo I think, things are looking up, I even have a tip.
I count the money and realise that the change is 4 p. yes, that right, slightly more than nothing, but less than enough for a five pence chew.
“I have a tip†I grin at the landlord.
“Oh, well you have to put it into the jar†he tells me.
“We pool our tips and share them†he says.
So into the jar goes my 4 pence to be shared by all 3 of us!
Anyway, by this time its time for last orders. I am asked to go collecting all the glasses whilst the other two deal with the “rush†of all the customers (all 6 of them by this point) place their final orders.
I pick up the glasses, the empty packets and the used tissues and take them into the back..
When the last customer leaves the landlord tells me I have done well and he hopes I enjoyed myself!
I am back on Sunday!
for typing all that!
