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A new swinging heaven record breakers attempt
Sex God
Quote by Morbius
How's the attempt going Dave?
:shock:
morbius you really can be an irritating muppet
fuck it! fuck it! fuck it!
Sex God
I refer all questions back to post number 1.
Five challengers who are willing to bet against me is what I said and as yet 5 have not been forthcoming. I never shirk a bet and therefore this daring attempt will take place on 30th July.....yes the date is significant and part of the plan, all it needs is someone to remind me the day before cos I'm forgetfull.
I will stick to me rules and my posts will be relevant to the first post of each thread, not necessarily relevant to where the thread has developed to and I will attempt to be the last poster (thats the name on the right for them that don't know) that has made a post. Any posts that are stickies or that are locked are not included in this challenge, only those posts that are running.
I have to say that I will be very dissapointed if there is any cheating on the part of others that excels my attempts to cheat.
Despite all the negativity, I'm still supremely confident of pulling this off and being able to clearly demonstrate through reason and lies that my task is complete, thereby exposing my foolish challengers to the ridicule of the forum members.
So.....davej taps his nose in that 'I know somewthing you don't know way' that he has seen in films and says five fools ...eerrr sorry five challengers required....put up or shut up!...thats something else I've heard in films.
Five challengers who are willing to bet against me is what I said and as yet 5 have not been forthcoming. I never shirk a bet and therefore this daring attempt will take place on 30th July.....yes the date is significant and part of the plan, all it needs is someone to remind me the day before cos I'm forgetfull.
I will stick to me rules and my posts will be relevant to the first post of each thread, not necessarily relevant to where the thread has developed to and I will attempt to be the last poster (thats the name on the right for them that don't know) that has made a post. Any posts that are stickies or that are locked are not included in this challenge, only those posts that are running.
I have to say that I will be very dissapointed if there is any cheating on the part of others that excels my attempts to cheat.
Despite all the negativity, I'm still supremely confident of pulling this off and being able to clearly demonstrate through reason and lies that my task is complete, thereby exposing my foolish challengers to the ridicule of the forum members.
So.....davej taps his nose in that 'I know somewthing you don't know way' that he has seen in films and says five fools ...eerrr sorry five challengers required....put up or shut up!...thats something else I've heard in films.
Sex God
That is crafty timing - but it only needs 1 SH member who isn't at the notts munch to stop you.
Sex God
Quote by rogerthedragon
That is crafty timing - but it only needs 1 SH member who isn't at the notts munch to stop you.
absolutely roger, but thats just a bit of added insurance in case I'm double crossed and besides you forget.......
.......davej taps his nose again....
the guise and cunning of a hunting Puffin :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by BlueEyes
Oh well, here I was sitting moaning that I can't go to the Notts munch.
Now I have a challenge!
Well done BlueEyes - Looks like we have a challenger for you McDave :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by rogerthedragon
Oh well, here I was sitting moaning that I can't go to the Notts munch.
Now I have a challenge!
Well done BlueEyes - Looks like we have a challenger for you McDave :twisted:
davej holds up his clenched fist raises a finger .....(the middle one as it happens) and counts
one!
Blue eyes ,I will let you know who the trusted independant McDick picture holder is going to me once the other four idiots......ooops challengers ,make themselves known. You can then take your picture and send it to them so they can post the losers......bugger ..I mean challengers pictures
Right, just spotted this, it was a case of
'read it through, miss page two, 99, 100.'
so I haven't read all the posts, I'm happy to do a McDick, bet there's a few people really shocked and surprised there
.
Only thing is a McBurger is flat, hmmm.
Oh and blue eyes, why does it have to be Mr BlueEyes? I've had a look, but I can't find it, there's a pic about somewhere that shows a a whole load of McPussy's. Join the parade Mrs BlueEyes!
'read it through, miss page two, 99, 100.'
so I haven't read all the posts, I'm happy to do a McDick, bet there's a few people really shocked and surprised there
.Only thing is a McBurger is flat, hmmm.
Oh and blue eyes, why does it have to be Mr BlueEyes? I've had a look, but I can't find it, there's a pic about somewhere that shows a a whole load of McPussy's. Join the parade Mrs BlueEyes!
Quote by davej
How's the attempt going Dave?
:shock:
morbius you really can be an irritating muppet
fuck it! fuck it! fuck it!
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: Actually it was me but I didn't realise Morb was logged in :oops: :oops:
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Can I be Floyd Muppet as I really liked him
C x
Sex God
Quote by Calista
How's the attempt going Dave?
:shock:
morbius you really can be an irritating muppet
fuck it! fuck it! fuck it!
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: Actually it was me but I didn't realise Morb was logged in :oops: :oops:
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Can I be Floyd Muppet as I really liked him
C x
then take
that for dragging up a shite thread that has served no other purpose than raising my post count, is of no interest to anyone and should have been left dead 
Quote by Mark
davej, firstly, best of british to you! :thumbup:
Secondly, there's a 'Flood Interval' of 15 seconds on this board (Number of seconds a user must wait between posts). Now, with 40 posts/page minus the 6 posts stickied atop, that makes it a theoretical minimum of 8 minutes and 15 seconds of pure and perfect posting. I'm not saying it can't be done... ummm ah, well, yes, I suppose I am saying that :lol2:
But that's not the way these things work, is it Mark?
I did an analysis of final posting times and found that the maximum number of final postings in any 10 minute period was 6, so all Dave would need to do is start on the bottom, make a relevant post to all of them, then keep on top of the ones at the top, and providing he could make a post every 1.5 mins then he should be able to keep abreast...
I don't have time to post my workings tonight, but I'll have you a scattergraph ready for tomorrow afternoon.
:twisted:
The sample was taken at 17:02
In the period 11:00 to 17:02 there were 362 10 minute periods
The following numbers are
Number of posts in period : Number of periods
0 posts : 177 periods
1 posts : 101 periods
2 posts : 46 periods
3 posts : 18 periods
4 posts : 9 periods
5 posts : 9 periods
6 posts : 2 periods
7 posts : 0 periods
This means that there were 177 10 minute periods in which a final post had not stayed on the first page.
I hope this clears things up.
Go Dave, it's not as difficult as BBD would have you believe.
Bye!!!
Sex God
Quote by marmalaid
davej, firstly, best of british to you! :thumbup:
Secondly, there's a 'Flood Interval' of 15 seconds on this board (Number of seconds a user must wait between posts). Now, with 40 posts/page minus the 6 posts stickied atop, that makes it a theoretical minimum of 8 minutes and 15 seconds of pure and perfect posting. I'm not saying it can't be done... ummm ah, well, yes, I suppose I am saying that :lol2:
But that's not the way these things work, is it Mark?
I did an analysis of final posting times and found that the maximum number of final postings in any 10 minute period was 6, so all Dave would need to do is start on the bottom, make a relevant post to all of them, then keep on top of the ones at the top, and providing he could make a post every 1.5 mins then he should be able to keep abreast...
I don't have time to post my workings tonight, but I'll have you a scattergraph ready for tomorrow afternoon.
:twisted:
The sample was taken at 17:02
In the period 11:00 to 17:02 there were 362 10 minute periods
The following numbers are
Number of posts in period : Number of periods
0 posts : 177 periods
1 posts : 101 periods
2 posts : 46 periods
3 posts : 18 periods
4 posts : 9 periods
5 posts : 9 periods
6 posts : 2 periods
7 posts : 0 periods
This means that there were 177 10 minute periods in which a final post had not stayed on the first page.
I hope this clears things up.
Go Dave, it's not as difficult as BBD would have you believe.
Bye!!!
...........davej reads marmalaids post, shows mrs davej his carefull workings out that confirms it's possible and wakes up the next morning to find the words 'gullible prat' have been felt tipped onto his bald head whilst he sleeps.............
Quote by davej
I have been in intensive training for an death defying ......no safety net attempt at a swinging heaven new world record. :happy:
me posting fingers have been hardened by soaking them in vinegar and then baking them under a gently heated grill for weeks on end......
I have conditioned my brain to cope with multi tasked thinking, by filling in both 'The Sun' and the 'Daily Star' crosswords, as well as watching Emmerdale all at the same time and then answering three randon questions about the programme...... :crazy:
I have trained myself to ignore 40 years of conditioning and to simply 'let go' when my bladders full, rather than leave my post to go to the toilet......
(mrs davej wasn't best happy about this one, the furnitures fucked)
all in all.........I'm ready!!!!!! :thumbup:
It is my intention at a date in the near future and subject to the permission of the mods, to attempt to have my name showing as the last post made, on every thread (excluding stickies and locked threads) on page 1 of the cafe.
Every post will be relevant to the threads title.
The attempt will be made between the hours of 1930hrs and 2300hrs so as not to be advantaged by the slow traffic offered by the twi light hours.
....however there is a catch
my biggest vice is.....betting, I love a bet ......a bet on anything, therefore I wanna make this into a challenge to give me that bit of extra.... oompfff...I need 5 of the guys to step forward and agree that they will join me, in submitting to an independant and trustworthy member, a clear and correct picture of themselves as a..........
McDick happy meal !!!!!!
Yes gentlemen .......I want you to slap your chap into a buttered, sesame seeded bun, stick it on a plate, surround it with chips and get it photographed...If I succeed then your McDicks get a public airing and if I fail, my McDick goes public and yours get chucked in the bin for selling as pig food..
whadya say guys.........
Time to give Dave an incentive I think...
I'm not making a record attempt here, because I'm using the twilight hours, but it'll remind him and prod his mushy brain, with any luck...
GO DAVE!
Well it's 5:50 and my record practice attempt has been aborted due to high winds and munch envy, I give my respect to Dave for stepping up to the mark once more. I'm ready to get my taters out and hand them to you on a plate, Dave.
I got less than half way there and I was uninterupted by the time I had to call it a day...
As you can see, I had to take a few breaks, mid posting, it was probably exactly this that cause my failure.
Chris
'Pushing the envelope'
I got less than half way there and I was uninterupted by the time I had to call it a day...
As you can see, I had to take a few breaks, mid posting, it was probably exactly this that cause my failure.
Chris
'Pushing the envelope'
Sex God
Ah a brave attempt marms and as it happens I was having a shufty at about 4 am this morning and saw what you was up to, however the fact remains that there never was 5 souls brave enough to challenge me (probably cos they knew I was gonna cheat) so I abandoned any attempt.
I still say that this can be done and you have got mighty close to proving that and I suspect that it was only boredom or an erection that needed attending too, that stood in your way on this occasion.
I still say that this can be done and you have got mighty close to proving that and I suspect that it was only boredom or an erection that needed attending too, that stood in your way on this occasion.
Quote by davej
Ah a brave attempt marms and as it happens I was having a shufty at about 4 am this morning and saw what you was up to, however the fact remains that there never was 5 souls brave enough to challenge me (probably cos they knew I was gonna cheat) so I abandoned any attempt.
I still say that this can be done and you have got mighty close to proving that and I suspect that it was only boredom or an erection that needed attending too, that stood in your way on this occasion.
Suspect all you like, I'm not telling
Thanks for your words of support and encouragement, Dave, but I just wasn't man enough last night, but at least it's given me the a bit of an incite into the sport, I might just make another attempt sometime, unless you beat me to it, of course!
