A problem shared

16 Jun 2005

Need to share with you guys. I have an embarressing situation that kinda contributes to my not swinging anymore. And I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing to get out of this one.
So here goes........
Every time I cough lately
I trump
No matter how hard I clench redface

ops: :oops:
What am I gonna do ? dunno

:giggle:

16 Jun 2005

Trust me ... I am a doctor.
You need to deal with the root problem. That is the cough. A sticky, syrupy mixture is probably best. Are you able to get hold of a regular supply or will you need me to administer for you?
GH

16 Jun 2005

stop eating the beans!!
Has the same infect on me! redface

16 Jun 2005

:roll: Don't cough :roll: :roll:
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

16 Jun 2005

Hey Libra,
I have some really good cough mixture here if you want to give it a go? lol

Or alternatively you could get a jacuzzi?
Mrs Cov..xx

16 Jun 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
pelvic floor pelvic floor
failing that remember that advert on tv at yours with joe pasqualys voice over (spelling)
see and learn see and learn :rotflmao:
laffin here wink

x rache x

16 Jun 2005

get back swinging that will sort it lol

16 Jun 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Now I'm laughing, coughing and farting all at the same time too. Lord help me, don't let another function kick in :shock:

16 Jun 2005

Some people say Vinegar is a multi purpose solution to all.
I swear by pepper, when I had my problem, of getting an erection every time I sneezed, thats what I turned to.

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
Every time I cough lately
I trump
No matter how hard I clench ops: :oops:
What am I gonna do ?
:giggle:

Find a fella with no sense of smell, bad guts, or get a dog, and blame him!!!! wink

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
Every time I cough lately
I trump

I sympathise, I really do.
So do my co-workers. ;)

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Now I'm laughing, coughing and farting all at the same time too. Lord help me, don't let another function kick in :shock:

dont light a fag confused

:? youll cough even more and blow the bloody house down wink

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Dino.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Now I'm laughing, coughing and farting all at the same time too. Lord help me, don't let another function kick in :shock:

dont light a fag confused

:? youll cough even more and blow the bloody house down wink

Did you use to live in Faversham, Libra, a year or two ago, up until the time a few houses were destroyed in a gas explosion?
If so, Dino, I think she's learnt her lesson by now! lol

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
Need to share with you guys. I have an embarressing situation that kinda contributes to my not swinging anymore. And I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing to get out of this one.
So here goes........
Every time I cough lately
I trump
No matter how hard I clench ops: :oops:
What am I gonna do ?
:giggle:

Go into show business? lol

Alternatively, every time you need to cough go into the bathroom, or under the bedcovers biggrin

16 Jun 2005

don't do anything. being an immature male it cracks me up when women pump

16 Jun 2005

sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value dunno

16 Jun 2005

Quote by davej
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

bad man Dave :giggle:

16 Jun 2005

Quote by davej
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

....or just stick one of those car air fresheners down the back of your knickers!! :shock: :shock: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

16 Jun 2005

Quote by davej
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

x rache x

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

bad man Dave :giggle:
not bad at all debbs,I'm just Mrf practical, its a physical problem that probably aint gonna go away so why not try and live with it and even dress it up a bit. I know libra smokes so I'm just seeing smoke rings from both ends. Now I know talc isnt exactly smoke but it gives a good impression of it and aint gonna burn yer arse.

16 Jun 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

....or just stick one of those car air fresheners down the back of your knickers!! :shock: :shock: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
what like you do? rolleyes

:roll:
ok i will leave it at that your secrete is safe with me wink

shhhhhhhhhhh :gagged:

17 Jun 2005

Err you could have someone run some pipe up there to help relive some of the pent up pressue.... :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

17 Jun 2005

Quote by davej
sprinkle talc on yer bum for added novelty value

bad man Dave :giggle:
not bad at all debbs,I'm just Mrf practical, its a physical problem that probably aint gonna go away so why not try and live with it and even dress it up a bit. I know libra smokes so I'm just seeing smoke rings from both ends. Now I know talc isnt exactly smoke but it gives a good impression of it and aint gonna burn yer arse.
Priceless Dave. I'm currently trying not to wake the rest of the house whilst pissing myself laughing and trying not to trump. Thanks too to Lib - for, erm, 'airing' this particular theme.

17 Jun 2005

Sounds like a little trip to the Doctors' is in order... or to the Practice Nurse if you prefer... explain the problem... omitting the swinging bit... and i'm sure they can solve it for you... it may simply be a matter of diet, and maybe drinking more mineral water...
I'm sure it will be sorted quickly... keep smiling...
equi-princess xxx

17 Jun 2005

I worked in an office as a temp and one of the women there had a similar problem. Either sneezing, coughing, lauging etc. caused her to fart.
One day she was returning to her desk with a full cup of coffee and sneezed and farted. She had to stand there to avoid spilling the coffee, and continued to sneeze and fart, then she got the giggles, as did everyone else. She stood there for about a minute giggling and farting, with the cup of coffee unspilled.
The whole office rupted into applause and cheering as she finally controlled herself.
None of this is going to help you. There is not much you can do as there are a lot of muscles in the body that work in an involuntary way in sympathy to other muscular actions. Maybe some kind of yoga or general keep fit would tone everything up and there would be less uncontrolled reactions.

17 Jun 2005

Thanks guys for your sympathies (or not rolleyes

) and suggestions.
I've taken some of your advice, ditched the beans and ordered in some sticky syrupy medicine which will be administered to me in the bath.... redface

...erm....I mean jacuzzi......today.
Tried that bloody pepper remedy but ended up sneezing and farting and coughing and farting all bloody night long, got whip-and-arse-lash now. I'm a mess today :shock: and too darn scared to even smoke :shock:
And as for Talcum powder pumping, admittedly it freshened the room, but quickly lost it's novelty value when it left the boys and I with dry white crusts bunging up our noses. Kinda hard to explain to the police. And I'm sorry, but the car air freshner idea is just crap.
Now if it was something more cylindrical for the front of my knicks......
Oh forget it.
Why tell you lot?
Look at the kinda advice I've got so far.
I'm off to do my pelvic floor excercises and a few Pasqualie (?) see and learn squats!

17 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
Every time I cough lately
I trump
What am I gonna do ?
:giggle:

The answer seems obvious to me: become a card-player rolleyes

17 Jun 2005

Ta Mike, there's that and shooting craps I guess
Perhaps not so doomed after all wink

17 Jun 2005

Quote by Libra+Love
Every time I cough lately
I trump
No matter how hard I clench ops: :oops:
What am I gonna do ?
:giggle:

Get some windeze hun and cough louder to cover the noise :shock:

17 Jun 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk

Every time I cough lately
I trump
No matter how hard I clench ops: :oops:
What am I gonna do ?
:giggle:

Have you thought about installing a harmonica or something similiar? Then you can have a bit of music during the day and not worry about batteries running out on you.
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: